European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 27, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse By Jill Lai United Phass International our Little one will soon go off to kindergarten for the first Lime and you feel o Little silly about the horrible scenarios that Are running through your head. If it helps at All you re not atone. My own child started kindergarten this past year said Fred Grossman a psychologist Al the University of Nebraska Lincoln. The room had a Glass window and the parents there were a number of fathers too All stood there and watched. It was just like when Ifie child was just born. All the focus has been on the child s difficulty in separating from the Parent he said. What needs to be addressed to the Parent s difficulty in separating Irani the child " parental anxiety Over the first Day of school can Slem from any number of reasons says Psychol fair Susan Forman an associate professor Al the Unn Rosity of South Carolina in Columbia. In some cases she said when parents Are not familiar Wilaj a now school. Hoy May worry about How children will fare in a strange environment or the Parent May be reluctant to see the child grow up said Forman although they realize the children will they Don t want them to for some parents i 3 comforting to have the child constantly with them and dependent on them especially in the child has never been to pre school. It s also possible that with the child gone parents Parent mho panic Whan � child cries Wilt probably reinforce the child s behaviour of not wanting Togo nth school but Tayt Fred in Samson rental anxiety on first Day of school May have of make changes in their own lives usually the Mother is Home and the Day has been taken up with caring for Iho child s needs she Ihen begins to wonder what s my purpose in life " Forman said the feeling is Akin to the empty nest syndrome when the last grown child leaves Home but on a smaller scale Grossman agreed. Any new Iran Ilion will cause some separation anxiety to said. 1 there will to concerns about How the child will function in a structured Selling. The parents want them to do Well and worry How they will be viewed by educators. There s also the thought of losing some control Over the upbringing of Iho child Forman added that there Are always practical concerns especially among cily dwellers about Iho child s safety Evroule to school and Homo to help alleviate thai anxiety she urges parents to Leach children common sense rules about traffic safely and dealing with strangers and have kids memorize heir Home addresses and phone numbers for Overall peace of mind. Forman suggests a Utset to the school and a talk Wilh the Leacher before school opens ii the Parent is More aware of whal the school is like she is toss Likely to worry another Way to Lessen first Day anxieties Grossman said is to share hem. He believes both parents should Lake an equal hand in child rearing from the Early years Don l have just one Parent locally responsible for the he said. Now. With More and More working women More fathers Are taking a pan in thai Roto " but in same areas of the country " Here Are a lot of people still who think the Mother should stay Home Forman said those mothers still Al Home alone win pro schooners should not totally lose their own interests when they have kids she added. They should have some things they do independently of the child so there la be something to lilt the space when the child goes Oft to perhaps the Besl advice Grossman can ofter is to remember your child is a child and Don impose High performance or behaviour expectation right away people need of understand that children need to be children and to can t push them he said. As an example he cites the worry about them being responsible and neat. There s very Little relation Between a pro schooler who s neat and Dean and a responsible and above All said Forman Don t panic it your child cries thai first Day. Parents who pane when a child cries will probably reinforce the child s behaviour of nol wanting to go in the school bus she pointed out. Going to school is something thai All children have to do. Don t give in or you la be laced with the problem Over and Over again. Talk about going to school As a positive fun experience that indicates your child is growing up in More serious cases wean the child the main thing is to remember not to get hysterical Don l let them know you re worried because that worry comes across " so get some sleep keep a Check on you imagination be informed and try not to worry right right. Maybe. Erma Bombeck swear advertisers Don t know anything there in t a Day that goes by hat i Don t pick up a newspaper or a Magazine and get asked a provocative question like do you want healthy hair or Are you sick of Roaches of so you make allowances Lor a dozen or so weirdos who consider Dandruff a turn on and Are lonely for pets but i think we can safely assume the answers Are yes. A full Page advertisement the Olner Day was t taking any chances. Across the top was the musical question do you want to be in debt the rest of your life below were two boxes. One said nol Quick Send me your pamphlet free at last on trial so Hal i May thumb my nose at Bankers and be a millionaire without leaving my the second Box was yes i want to Drift aimlessly Lor the rest of my life and die a Don t Tell me that Agency could t have figured out the number of Yesnes and noes from a simple poll in the elevator. Who writes that stuff rip Van Winkle do you want to end nagging backache Are you tired of being ripped Olf do you i d give pm 10 minutes to make me look two years younger would you be interested in playing at parties at Christmas and having the time of your life would you like to save Money and love like a King do you want to lose 12 pounds in three Days would you like prostate Relief it you can spell it. You can cure it frankly. I hate quaies always have i get rattled. A Salesman at the door the other Day asked. Are you interested in saving 15 cents a copy on each Magazine you receive what am i supposed to say. No. Want to get in my car use Gas i Don t have run Down to the Corner drugstore buy that Magazine off the newsstand before it s sold out and pay an extra $12 a year for she privilege later As i stood Here with a five year subscription to bleeding Gums journal my husband asked Why did t you just Tell pm you did t want the Magazine because that was t the question Tho next Lima i see How will you spend eternity on a bumper Slicker he can answer it 1c 19m.1 wednesday August 27, 1986 the stars and stripes Page 17
