European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 27, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 columns the stars and stripes wednesday August 27,1986 cooking Over Gas is Nof grilling by Andy Rodney this is he glory of the fail of two of my heroes. Craig Claibore and Pierre Franey writ about food and i be always admired them greatly. Now they be written a terrible article about outdoor grilling. I will never again accept their word for things about which i know nothing weans i be read their snide on something about which i know a great Dealand they re wrong. Imagine How crushed 1 was to real in Ethel know More than they do about cooking out. Grilling anything outdoors i not an exact outdoor fire in t like an oven that can be it at i fined temperature. Every fire is different and every piece of meal fish or any other food to be cooked Over in has to be treated diff Cully. Claibore and Franey refer in their article to an outdoor Gas will someone please Tell me Why anyone thinks cooking Over a Gas Grill outdoors is any different from cooking Over a Gal Grill indoors out door cooking Craig and Pierre it done Over Wood or charcoal not Over Gas. These two experts quoted a Chefas saying the us of Wood was t important. I agree that Meiqi Ute chips or Little bags of Hickory chips bought in a gift shop arc ridiculous but you can t beat cooking Over Bard Wood. The outdoor Grill i conk Over most often in build into the done Wall just outside the dining room. In is situated within 100 feet of six big shag bark Hickory Trees. Every time there s a Strong wind a few twigs and occasionally some major branches fall to the ground. I regularly pick up after the Hickory Trocca and store their droppings in my Wood Box. It s most convenient to Mart an outdoor fire with the store bought charcoal thai comes in those big bags i put the word charcoal in quotation Marks to indicate that it in t really charcoal. It s Coal dust that has been compressed with a Large amount of Clay that does t bum Ai All. I dislike it but it s convenient and it does hold its heat longer than Wood. Once i have a Good fake charcoal ire going i add a few Small pieces of Wood. You can t use Pine or an soft Wood because the resins in it produce an unpleasant taste. If i m cooking meal 1 put the meal on right away while the fire is smoking and before the Wood catches fire. When the Wood bursts into flame this is where experience counts. You have to judge How much flame to give the meat. You Don t want it really charred but cooking meat quickly at first helps it retain its Mois Ture. The big trouble with most grills you can buy in a hardware store is that they Aren t adjustable. You must be Able to move what you re cooking closer or farther away from the fire at different limes. I keep four bricks Bandy and i m always setting them up in different combinations to rest my Grill on so that i can move the food away from the fire when it s naming or closer to it Asil Dies. When i m ahead of the Coonc inthe Kitchen doing the vegetables i want to put the meal on hold for a few minutes. Like most americans we re eating less meat. It in t something we decided to do. It Isott diet or piece of meat just Don t Appeal to us As much As they used to. Cast night i Cut two Small Zucchini in half Lengthwise and poured a combination of Olive Oil Sod safflower Oil Over them. I sliced big new potatoes half an Inch thick and took the heavy stems off Bighead of Broccoli. Boiled the slices of potato for about five minutes and blanched the Broccoli. Put some of the Oil Over the Pqul Oes and the Broccoli and put everything on the Grill the Broccoli hut and very briefly i thought to myself Craig and Pierre Are probably grilling caviar on an electrically operated spit. I wis they were Here to try this vegetarian dinner grilled Over real Oertwi. Stoa sch your morals Are in Good hands Byak Buchwald the thing i like about the citizen censors we now have in this country and there Are More of them All the time is that they not Only worry about what their own families Are Reading but yours As Well buddy Blo nose a Block Warden for the reverend Abner ick is a frequent visitor to my House. He usually comes in through the Kitchen window while pro eating cornflakes. The other Day he said to me mind if i Check your Library to see if you have aay secular humanist literature stashed away by my guest i told him. But you re wasting your time. I would t know a secular humanist Book if it jumped up and bit i can t take your word for it my organization the a Venters of the printed word asked me to ice for myself. We won t stand for filth in your House no problem Ibert i assured him. We burned everything the a Eagen put on their blacklist. It you find anything that violates the teachings of the rever end ick you can take it with we re doing this for your owe Good buddy said. I know that or 1 would t let Yon into my House.11 our Job is to clean up America and the Only Wayto do that is to Alert the people to dangerous Reading let me ask you a question. Where does the rever end ick get the time to read All the printed material he attacks on television he does t read it himself. He has avengers read ing it for Reading stuff for the reverend must be a wonder Ful there s no fun in Reading it it s Banning it that gives our followers a purpose in life. Every Avenger wants to ban Jane did t know Jane was on the reverend s hit no one has filled Chil Len s minds with More sin Ful garbage. Thank to the reverend ick All the schools in the country have been notified.7 buddy i can see where your people would want to keep their own bookshelves clean bul Why us we Don t even belong to your sect because if you read banned books you la Burn i hell. These Are not my words but those of reverend ick who is within a Stone s throw of the granted i said bul let s assume that the lists of other distinguished Book burners do not match yours. This Means i can t read the avengers list is the Only one to follow because it has been blessed on television by the reverend Back to the question. If i m no an ick Follower Why Are you inflicting your philosophy on me because the reverend believes thai if you Don throw out your books you will be condemned to a fiery inferno in the does the reverend really want to control our lives All he s trying to do is keep the secular humanists from capturing your How can the secular humanists capture my soul i be never met even one of the secularists get into your Home through the printed Woid. Go into any Bookstore and see How much mischief the Devil is making you people really have a lot of work to Book burning can be exhilarating if you know what you re looking can i do to make sure 1 Don l buy a Book should to Send $100 to reverend ick and hell Tell you How to become a bom again m lot Angat to twi it Cutey s crossword by Eugene Sheffer across j33 Hepburn 2 Many 1 ending for Quiney Day red or mail my sped.4 Beetle 3 Arnault fog sea 7ttie against 4 divine Ranger besiegers comedy 8 inferior 37 hesitate poet scents Sally into race 7 Home. 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