European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 28, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns nature s perfect foods keep him fat and Happy by Paul Bourgeois still writer i a St i always , bul i think it started about the Imp i Una Leeth. At , i was kind of ,1 puny kid Short and Skinny. At 1 11 was 4-fool-b and weighed All of 82 pin Inch. It s Nai they Tyirin l feed me or anything. I be always eaten my share and a Good bit of someone else s. But it 1, something happened to my metabolism i suspect puberty had something in do with in ind things have never been the same. Speaking of metabolism 1 find it very Irrin Tinl when heavy weights insist on blaming i heir incredible Hulk on a slow metabolism or a ii would be so refreshing just once to hear i m cause i eat like a pig or i have an Tive j1itnd it s called a these Days i m .1 Light eater i l la As soon As it s Light. I be tried the Low carbohydrate did the High diet the Low calorie diet the High caloric Dit Lihe banana diet the egg Diel the Rice diet the prune diet the turnip diet and the Beer Diel. None waked i i it for tin prune diet hut it was Loo disgusting u for More than ii Dikiy Eric last week i started the seafood dirt hut i Don t think in s working i eat whatever i set. I i been Reading ,1 lot lately about the new deep fit diet. It seems perfect for me since i i consider Kase the staff of lift1. My motto is Don t Obi nothing Thiol Ain t Fried although lately i be liken to frying my grub in lard Lite. I be a Friend Well him Bill since that s his name who shuns Fried food arid wrongly considers chocolate ice Cream the staff of life i be Road stories about transsexuals and the like who claim to be Worsen trapped inside men s bodies or vice versa but Bill is a fat person tripped inside the body of a thin person. In s probably much worse in be a thin person trapped inside the body of ,1 person although i m not sure such creatures exist. Thin people invariably have thin bodies. Strange but True. Bill exercises a real Deal a whoppers fair l.irs1 orders of tries and five Dio Colaleo shakes. One 1 my old consumed an entire Ham a c Asi of Beer and two pies. Then there was the Lime my Little brother ale i i Hollors with Chili eight hard Lio Ileal e5ks and a six pack " Root Beer it one sitting. We him sleep in the garage that night. I wish we Hail taken a camera Willi us the time my two Brothers and i were feeling particularly hungry and Wen to one of those All you Tan it. Fried Chicken i ices. My Brothers have perfected .1 technique whereby they Don t have to waste valuable Lime chewing Fried Chiton they simply pass a piece of Chicken about an Inch from their Mouths and suck the meat clean from the Bone in one Quick movement. The other hand meanwhile is searching out a Nice fat piece and i on. True they get their rhythm going they can wipe out o col. Sanders outlet within minutes. Anyway after about an hour of this routine and after twice changing Ubl that could t hold any More rubble the manager came out to see us. What Are you boys trying to do he asked is this a fraternity stunt or is Alan Funt hiding around Here somewhere taking the hint we decider it might be time to leave but not before we asked him for a Doggie bag. But that was in the Olit Days. Thai s All behind me so to speak. I m reformed. In fact i just started a new diet. Actually i just started two new diets 1 was t gelling enough to eat with just one. There Are ways to avoid Mother s bad manners by miss manners United future Syndicate dear miss manners etch year my Mother who it in her 60s, Alie Nalei More of her family with the following after each occasion birthday Chris that easter Mother s Day Etc. The sends each of her daughter and daughters in Law detailed data Sheet under the Guise of a letter in which the Titi each present the received from each member of the family. Ii in happens to be Money the exact amount ii always listed. It has caused much consternation especially among the daughters in Law who Are perhaps not Ai understanding As her daughter. They feel it is her Way of keeping the level of gift giving High. I suppose in ii in extremely bad taste and i would like to see it Flop. Since the lives with me i feel that i should be Able to handle it but howl i Don t want to Hurt her feeling bul i m also beginning to wonder in she hat ulterior motives. This has been going on for years. Gentle Reader miss manners likes to give mothers the Benefit of the doubt whenever possible and in is possible that your Mother is Short on ideas about what to write and considers it nature of presents she receives to be of general interest it is a rather questionable practice but since everyone seems to a affected and offended surely you can All be amused and tolerant together. If not he Way to fight in is to All Chip in and buy her one present from All her children and their spouses. Dear miss manners Over the last few months i have been somewhat Friendly with a new acquaintance i met through a local club. Recently she was House Hunting and fell in Tovac Wilh an apartment in my building. Before the i valued her tease i spoke with her about my misgivings. It is important for me to keep my friends separate from my neighbors and i thought in Busl to make my feelings known before the made her decision. Ultimately she took the apartment but As a result there has been certain awkwardness Between us. I wonder if perhaps i should do something or if i should be patient and wait Lor her to make a move. Gentle Reader you have already made a move and in is High time that you unmade it. Miss manners would never be so foolish As to offer someone the Choice Between her Friendship and a Good apartment. Presumably you realize your mistake. Ii is All very Well to try to compartmentalize your life but forgoing an existing promising relationship because it does t fit in Wilh preset rules Borders on the arrogant. It is up to you to make a Call on your new neighbor welcoming her to the building and letting her know thai you value her acquaintanceship Over your policy. Dear miss manners -1 am going to be a bridesmaid at 1 . Wedding far which the reception at a Hall approximately 30 minutes away will not be until 6 . There will be Many out of town guests. What Type of accommodation if any should be provided for the guest and bridal party during this Gap in Limel who it responsible for this accommodate it am i right in assuming that the Fridal party should not mingle with the Gunti before the reception gentle Reader what sort of tradition is it that you imagine takes precedence Over i Courtesy to guests this is an extremely unfortunate arrangement in which the site of the reception seems to have taken on More importance than the purpose which is for the bridal parly to celebrate after the ceremony with those who have attended it. People Are being asked to while away four hours All dressed up and Wilh no place to go. They Are naturally going to Perch Down somewhere eating drinking and socializing at their own expense and without the people whom they came to congratulate. Unquestionably it will take the Edge off the reception itself. The least anyone connected with the bridal party can do is to find a Way to help entertain these people. Ii would be Nice of you As a bridesmaid to help out bul the chief people who ought to be doing it Are the bridal couple and the hosts who Are probably her parents. Yes thai would result in their giving the reception earlier and not at their first Choice place. The sacrifice would be made in order to give guests first class treatment. Dear miss manners i am a recently divorced Mother of two Young Hoys. How do i teach them to open a door for a lady hold her chair and perform All the a rivalries a gentleman should know i realize that the Best Way to teach children manners is by example. Gentle Reader Well there is parental example and there is the example of society. In most cases you want to gel in All of the former you can before the latter takes Over. Your boys Wilt have a decided advantage romantic and otherwise if they learn these gestures by daily practising them on you and ladies of your generation or older. In will also instill in them the Habil of treating their Mother Wilh appropriate deference. But in is also part of educating them to explain that such behaviour is uncommon now thai there Are situations in which it is inappropriate among Young school Fellows or among professional colleagues later although in is ail the More charming and useful socially for thai reason. Have an etiquette question write to Mitt manners in care of the stars and stripes apo0921i, . Forces. Iti Guttly 1386
