European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 29, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 columns the stars and stripes Friday August 29,1986 today s crossword. Further farther whom cares b Andy Rooney following Are some miscellaneous observations on the use of the English language every few weeks i use a Colon but i almost never use semicolons because i m not sure what they Indi Cate. I like dashes and three dots for punctuation. Three dots Aren t officially recognized though. Several times a year i look up the difference be tween further and  my reference books always say the same thing. Farther refers to Dis Tance. Everything else is  you would t say  there Are some phrases that should be Given a Long rest. Some examples the name of the game. World class. What can i Tell you. No problem. Have 8 Nice Day. Will that be All. Worst Case. More heat than Light. I d also give up the phrase having a dialogue when i mean two people Are talking. I Don t use whom much even though i know when i should. I use it sometimes when it s the obvious object in a sentence but i never use it at the Start of a sentence even when it s the object. In parts of Africa the natives speak their own Brand of English. Pidgin English is wonderfully color Ful and inventive. For instance they Call one of their own native africans who is uppity because he s been to London a  newspapers always put a period after Harry tru Man s Middle initial s. Even though it does t stand for anything More than that. An educated person is supposed to be Able to use 100,000 words. A language expert named Otto Jesper son once counted the different words in Shakespeare and found he used Only 20,000. Pcs person says there arc Only 6,000 different words in the Bible. One of my Good books on English grammar says that when you use a quotation inside a sentence of your own you Don t Start the quotation with a capital even though it s a sentence itself. For example presi Dent Reagan said last week that we re not going to be fooled by the russians " it seems wrong to me. I d capitalize we  i m suspicious of a writer who uses launder when he Means Wash inexpensive for cheap perspiration for sweat or wealthy when he Means  i had an interesting ride into the City from the Airport with Gloria Stemm. She was talking about someone she knows w to teaches writing courses. She said the teacher just makes the students write and write. Her theory is that if a person writes a lot the person s natural personality will begin to appear after a while. Not Only that the person will begin to recognize himself or herself. People often replace the word now with some thing that sounds fancier to them currently presently or at this Point in  i Don t know Why they Aren t satisfied with just Plain  it makes fussy grammarians angry but i be forgot ten any difference i once knew Between will and  the distinction is so Fine and so difficult to discern that i Don t try. To me i shall remember this is the same As i will remember  the same goes for should and  one of the few British words that american sol Diers brought Home to use was queue for line. E try Jim med i service life s unfair Ain t it wonderful by Russell Baker new York first it was Hughie huddled on my Doorstep. Alms he cried. Alms for a poor sufferer who begs a pallet in your  Hughie the real estate Czar desperate for a place to sleep impossible. A fortnight ago he had boasted of vast sums invested in condominiums of a Rajah s wealth socked into Manhattan apartment Bouses. If not a pallet dear Friend for old times Sake Grant me at least a Bare  what was this dear Friend and old times Sake once desp Hughie if h his no Way " he had said. That apartment is already under priced. The living room has a  now this proud Man told a tale of ruin. The new tax Bill was the death Knell of the real estate business for it required Hughie to pay taxes. Did you Ever Bear of anything so unfair i Felt ashamed. Why should Hughie be destroyed by taxes while i was permitted to survive i wanted to hug him and say yes Hughie unfair unfair but i remembered a lesson he d taught me. Once i bad said it was unfair that he paid practically no tax at All while i paid so much i could t afford an apartment with window in the living room and Hughie said sure it s unfair. So what lift is  such Manly reply. So Bottom line. And so right for me at the time too. Sure it was shameful to whimper and whine about my unfair tax Burden. Sup pose John Wayne had heard me acting like a Sissy. Hughie s Lite if unfair had spared me. I had always been grateful to Hughie for that Nowat last As he huddled on my Doorstep pleading for a pallet i could repay the favor. Yes Hughie i said taxing you is unfair. But never forget life is  you Don t understand he said. When you re unfairly taxed nobody but you has to suffer. But when i m unfairly taxed my incentive to build is destroyed so everybody who wants a $750,000 apartment with window in the living room has to  next Day i saw Siggie standing on a Street Comer Selling pencils. Siggie i said do you realize that i Congress makes Hughie pay taxes i will never again be Able to covet an apartment i can t afford Siggie shrugged in despair. I was appalled. Siggie they re not going to tax you too yes. Those were tears in the eyes of the famously profligate defense contractor. He would have to pay taxes. The news had destroyed All his incentive to build $600 toilet seats and reduced him to Selling pencils on Street  you really want to Stop the russians he said you la write your congressman a plea to double your taxes so i can regain my incentive. Sell me a Pencil. I la write  this one he said. It s yours for Only $3,500."i tried it it does t  instead of being a nitpicker Why Don t you just Telephone your congressman headed for a phone i was stopped by Tex the renowned expense account artist. Can you spare is for a cup of Coffee he  Devil. The new tax Bill had ruined him. Since Only 80 percent of his pleasures would be deductible he had to raise the other 20 percent by caging Money in the Street gave him the $5. I d hate to think of what will happen to our country s great expense account palaces if their customers have to pay their own Bills. Before i got to Tell my congressman How terrible the tax Bill is though i realized liked hearing those Birds scream. 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