European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 4, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns skip column below this one and ask or. South by John Windrow 1 column lit Bung ihs.1 Humble Type every once in a while i need an ego boost. 1 go Oul to find people who my column so they can Lell me How Gejl it is. Invariably the Connor Shliom go like this scent a Low rent Thyl is often frequented by americans somewhere in Central Europe me i. I m Lohn Windrow award winning to alumni a for Trie and he or the How come you Guys run so Many photos of whales me i was thinking o writing about that in my column glad you brought in he or she Chuck and i too lots of pictures of Chuck and i in me i wrote an especially hilarious column about Chuck and i a few weeks ago. Did you catch it he or she you mean you write a column me if in 3 of the Stripe Magazine every he or he of yeah i know i hat one. You look older the in your picture. 1 remember now it s right above miss manners 1 just love miss manners it s the first thing i look for every me make it a double i be Hart my fill of this Irish. What s miss manners got i Ain l Gnu 1 mean besides manners. I be decided in strike Back with my own column about the Fine Points of the genteel. You can read this and skip the column immediately below. Then maybe the editor will Slop running miss incl More people will read me. From now on Send your queries Ionut gracious living and to ask or. dear or. South i went to a fancy Dan family reunion recently with my wife s relatives. They Don t speak English Good despite the fact that the army s been Over Here for 40 years and i had a Little rouble following what was coming a Cousin handed me a bottle. I look a Long swig and then another just to show that i thought in was really Good whiskey even though in did t taste like anything that had been within 500 Miles of Tennessee or Kentucky. I passed the bottle on to the female on my immediate right As fashion dictate Down Home and got a look thai could have stopped a watch. Then i noticed All these fancy Little Gold rimmed glasses on the table with wild pigs painted on them. My wife had her head in her hands and kept saying i can l take him anywhere i can t take him did i commit a Taui Pas or something like that bewildered in Babenhausen gentle Reader boy Are you stupid. You did t wipe the Mouth of the bottle off before you patted it to your female relation. The proper etiquette is if passing the bottle to a Manly male relation wipe off the Billle with the Palm of your hand this encourages gregarious regular Guy behaviour and before Long everybody s telling in s about Hunting trips and cousins who Are in the penile Liary. Not to mention they la open another few bottles and All the women May leave so you can really put your feet up and act like you want to. If passing the bottle to a female or a Guy who reads gentleman s quarterly wipe it off on your Shirl Lail if you re wearing a shirt. If not use he Shirttail of the male on your left. No wonder your wife got mad Al you. But her a new vacuum cleaner and that should Palch things up. Dear or South would you cont Der Brace yourself Brigitte to be sufficient foreplay unsure in . Centie Reader it s of with me if it s of with Brigitte. You sound like you got South you never used Lack. Dear or. South i went to a wedding reception last week. They served soup which i be always considered a waste of time. I tried to cat in anyway to butter up the hostess. I always carry a gun and i had to tote it in a shoulder Holster because i d rented a Tuxedo Bright Maroon is thai sexy or Whall. Anyhow when i leaned Over the soup bowl imagine my embarrassment when my Rugur fell splat right into the Vichy Soissa. I was Al a loss for what to do next so i just ale around the .38 until most of the soup was gone. Then i had to fight a waiter Lor the bowl because i Wai afraid some of the Kitchen help might slea my pistol. Ii was humiliating. What Are your comments on this unfortunate incident shamed in 5iconella gentle Reader or. South frowns on Maroon tuxedos. If you get in a real party mood and jump in a Fountain your skin turns Maroon. Ii lakes a Long Lime to Wear off. As for your pistol soup is cheap and somebody gels married every Day but Good handguns Cost Money. How could you let your Ruger soak in the potato soup do you realize what that does to the barrel next time grasp the weapon firmly by the trigger guard excuse yourself and go to the men s room and Wash in. You be already blown it so Why pretend everything s Fine when you be become the censer attraction besides who s going to make any smart remarks about table manner to a Man who s carrying a .38 in his hand this prevents the altercation with the waiter who probably was really trying to steal your handgun. Or. Could welcomes questions from fenders bul can Only provide answer in his column. Don t cell him on the phone it Home. That s rude How to Tell House guests they Are imposing by miss manners United future Syndicate dear miss manners we enjoy having visitors who Are on vacation but their visits Are very expensive of i m showing my Muesli around Lown who is supposed to pay for lunch occasionally we will take our company to another town an All Day Outing. Once my husband and 1 and our guests were having an expensive lunch out and the gentleman looked Al us when the Check came and asked if we wanted to pay for lunch or for dinner that night. Since we had already made reservations we were obligated for Al least one. We would t have eaten out if we did t have company. Both my husband and i work. I work at Home providing most of the Money. When my guests awake i leave my work to make breakfast. Needless to a i m shirking my Respondi Billy to my family. One Friend visited a for iwo weeks and each Day she waited for me to Stop working so we could go Oul for the Day. I suggested she Lake my tar and go herself bul the said she did l mind wailing. When she did l reach for the lunch Check i had to. She is very wealthy and we Are not. How do i get out of playing Cook or social director we love our family and friends and certainly Don t want to Hurt their feelings but we really can t afford this. How can we make them realize that they Are on vacation but we Are Noil gentle Reader the time to establish the terms is when the invitation is issued or More Likely when the visitors request to visit is approved by the hosts. While miss manners is not exonerating your guests or excusing them from sensitivity to your requirements and attempts to lighten your Load As Host she believes you have inadvertently misled i hem. A simple and gracious Why of course we d love to have you Only suggests that you Are free to make Holiday with them and considerately planning excursions plants the idea thai you wish to be hosts on those As Well. It would be no less charming to write we d love to see you of course and you Are most Welcome to slay Here but i m afraid Well be working most of thai Lime so you ii be on your own All you can suggest Side trips but if you assume that they will Lake them alone and they then coax you along which you can also decline of course they will be More Likely to understand that that part was their idea and therefore their Ireal. Dear miss manners i do not know if i am right about this information but i am upset. I know thai when a bridegroom and his future Wile Are making wedding plans they should not depend on anyone to help if they Don t want to. I know you mentioned something about the father of a Bride having to pay for the wedding i guess help was t coming from anywhere else. I think the parents of the Bride or Groom should offer to pay for the flowed. I feel this i proper. For a Groom Mother to ignore a bridal Shower if another lad thing. Why not offer her Lovely Home for he Shower and offer to help the bridesmaids with Money or food the bridesmaids have enough expense and planning. The Bride in question has no Mother. She is paying for in All. The bridegroom does t earn much Money and they have an understanding about this. She it willing. Gentle Reader will you please Slop making up rules of wedding etiquette and then blaming other people for not following them. And especially would you please Stop making them up and claiming that they come from miss manners miss manners never decreed who should pay wedding expenses. Parents generally do for a Young Bride but if they do not or cannot there is no reason that other people concerned cannot pay some or All of the Bills if they want to. Here Are some real rules of etiquette nobody can demand that anyone else pay for All or part of a wedding. The parents of the bridegroom May or May not offer to help out but they cannot be drafted. Showers Are properly Given by friends of the Bride of whom presumably the bridesmaids Are the closest never by her relatives or prospective relatives. The bridegroom s family May Volunteer to give a for the couple Al their Lovely Home supplying food and other costs bul they should not be associated with bridal showers. Ttptttnbcr4,1936 Irr pet my Amine 3
