European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 12, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes Friday september 12, 986 columns today s crossword plotting to steal a Little More time by Andy Rodney i m Back from vacation but every thing feels strange. My show feel strange because i be been wearing sneakers for a Moth. My Collar feels Light because i Haven t been Wear ing a no clinic and my leather Bell Musl have shrunk while i was away. This typewriter tech strange because it has t been i fora month. It s slow and Sticky. The City seems strange loud and dirty. There s no time of year that goes so quickly As those summer vacation weeks. Tvs been taking month now for several years and when i pack up to leave he Days scent to stretch endlessly before me one vast amount of Lime to rest and catch my breath. And then the time flies. There s no Good substitute for thai cliche. When t was 8 and Between the second and third grades we had a cottage on a Lake for the summer and i recall clearly the feeling of dread i had in the Middle of inc night even then. I d awaken and Star thinking about How dose to its end Ray vacation was. Time was running out. It evoked in the pit of Mylor Naclet then the same feeling of dread 1 get in the Middle of the night now contemplating death. It May be the Clear delineation of a period of time thai makes the Lime seem to go faster. Perhaps wrought to try to conserve time by dropping weeks and months As a Means of dividing the years. We simply could number the Days of the year. 1 am for example writing this on the 219th Day. What would be wrong with calling it simply thai the Date at the top right hand Comer of our letters today would Lay simply "2l9lh, 1986." Why do we complicate it by dividing the years into 12 months thai have varying numbers ofdays7 variety makes a vacation seem Short too. It might be belter if we Alt did the same thing every Day of our Vasalion. We d stay in the same place see the same people and maintain a steady routine. Instead we go places take Little trips invite people to slay with us for the weekend and generally break up our Days away from work Inlo Lille patches of time. When you look Forward to doing something the Day after Tomor Row today and tomorrow pass quickly and so of course do the Day on which you actually do some thing different. We nibble away at our vacation this Way until there s none of it left for just doing nothing. It s difficult to understand Why we never gel used to Haw fast the Days of our lives go by. From the information that experience feeds to our brains we seem to learn everything else we need to know. We know when we re hungry How much food to buy for ourselves. When we re lir cd we know Well have had enough sleep if we gel six or seven hours so we my the alarm for that. We know it lakes half a Glass of water to satisfy our Hirst. We know All these things without even thinking about them so How come we never icam How quickly our vacation goes by one of he most unfair things about vacations is thai the people who do the least work and get paid the most Money for it Lake inc longest vacations. Everyone though is stealing More vacation time now than they used to. It used to be they Tot two weeks and that was it. Now More and More people Are gelling three weeks or a month and then taking extra Days at other limes during the year. 1 May steal a hide myself. I m not satisfied. I want a Little More. Ill Lake a Friday Here and there or use up All of sunday and not come in until late monday. I give the company its money1 Worth by coming in Early and working late other Days. Plotting to steal a few Long weekends for the next six weeks makes it easier to accept the fact that my real vacation is Over. 3 to ism Matt by Victel Don t let a pig in your tax shelter by Dick West Washington r Hale to be i he one to break the news 10 such an August organization As the fair tax foundation bul there is no such thing As a Fairfax. Even in september with Congress Back from a extended labor Day vacation and lax Reform very much on the front Burner your Outlook May depend on whether you invest in Pigpen Chicken coops or baseball Milts. I personally live never owned a Pigpen or a Chick in Coop but i can testify from firsthand knowledge that baseball Mills lend to Wear out particularly if the owner plays a lot of baseball. Therefore 1 would t blame Congress for making them subject to depreciation rules As a production incentive. Heaven knows with the world series coming up baseball players need More incentive. One senator has commented that productivity de pends on whal slate you come  i Fate this to mean thai some states produce More Pigpen than they do Chicken coops or baseball mitts. Anyway according to the fair tax foundation we gave away through loopholes More income tax Money than we collected in 19bs. Now suppose the Pentagon told the House and Senate that the soviet Union had a big Lead in Loop Hole production we All know what would happen to tax Reform legislation. There is however a Good Way to prevent in. It is obvious thai tax shelters have a great Deal in common with Pigpen and Chicken coops. But think twice before building one in your backyard. My advice is to acquire a piece of land on the outskirts of town and hire an established contractor to construct your tax shelter. The contractor s experience will help ensure thai Only you and your family can use the shelter. A Back Yard do in yourself project could result in the tax Shel Ter being occupied by pigs and chickens. 1 Don t know much about the construction business bul it seems to me any company capable of building Pigpen or Chicken coops should be Able to make portable lax Shelten As Well. That big Money is involved is apparent to anyone who has followed Reform legislation through the sen ale finance committee the House ways and Means Cor Mitlee and a joint conference committee. Tax shelters have become almost As popular As bomb Ihei lers once were. According to the fair tax foundation the Back door tax break has become the government s fast est growing spending  to traditional subsidies for Oil and Gat heavy Industry and defense contractors the foundation tells us have been added legislated tax break for items like Kilty litter Sand and Flowerpot  would say lax Seften Are a natural byproduct of the Pigpen and Chicken Coop industries. If those Busi Nesses Don t move to Cash in defense contractors will and remember the whole thing May be deductible by the Lime Congress gets through reforming our lanes. Meanwhile 1 plan logo on depreciating my baseball Mitt. C unit a pent Inonu cml Beugen Sheffer across1 Deri Ilos Green Light. In away9 track circuit12 dim is chilliness14 conceit 15 treaty org. 11 butter up15 kind of Bowling a lube 45 source47 prattle 41jqttlngamfiug place s3 Shad source 84 turn away 55 bashful56 Toady s answer 57 loiter Down 1 greek 3 din4 flying Fly Spott 6 nlailng7 Potter s need8 Fri farm d admit 10 ten percenter 11 Sailor Xuy Provera 17 the Eye peripheral vision 21 Belfry resident z2 Wall climber 2 -bananas"28 cruel one28 track hone 30 actor Beatty 48 mystery writer Josephine co go awry 6-12 Hubert suppose sup mean time Poutou