European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 18, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns How does one get Cheek to Cheek with stubble by John Windrow sufi column ii Don t kiss me she said with her nose turned up. You need a shave. Get away in s like Sam in s happened to everybody. So i shave first thing everyday. Shaving does t to Grill the. Few things do hat Early in the Day. Coffee thrills me. The realization that my Day off his finally rolled around thrills me until i go Back to Steep. The smell of Ham and eggs frying in he Kitchen can go a Long Way toward aking the sting Oul of pulling my eel on the floor. If the clock pops on with a baseball game Courtesy of an my brain cells will Start to bump into each other with something resembling enthusiasm. There s 40,000 on hand Here in Yankee stadium and they desperately want this team to win today so they gain a game on Boston. A mingle is at the plate glaring at the Pitcher. The tying run is on second. Here comes the of gel up. The world s turned Over one More time and somewhere people shout. What a Sweet thing a difference in time zones can be when gets in hear baseball first thing in the morning. Hut As for shaving shaving leaves me cold. The wont thing about shaving is looking in a Mirror so Early in the Day Good lord this is after a health giving Sec pm what must i look like after a Day s work and then there s the cuts. I always use those Little plastic razors thai arc supposed to be absolutely Safe. The kind you could shave a baby s Bottom Ali i if you had the shakes. It matters not. My transforms itself nightly no doubt out of some deep biological urge to improve and there s always 3 new bump or wrinkle eager to spurt blood at i he razor s first to cd. I would use elect re razors but there s Many a morning when i simply can t Bear the noise. Straight a ors Are out of the question. I be seriously to cd myself with Pap lops Nvvf Butler knives. With 3 straight razor i d probably menace entire neighbourhood so it was with some interest hat i stumbled across the stubble device. While perusing a Magazine when i should have been writing headline Stabo it the return of Humphrey the Hump backed whale i saw an and for it. A Manly Type with a roman Noie in angular Square jaw bedroom eyes and a bold Chain necklace was rubbing something across his Chin thai looked like ,1 Small set of hedge clippers. The and proclaimed the birth of the a Bubble device. Vou be seen the stubble gracing faces of today s hottest the and begin. Well frankly i Haven t. This did not Surprise me in the least however because i am not one of today s hottest nor do i mingle with them. 1 found out later that the heroes of a television program inspired the stubble craze. This also did not Surprise me. The Nadir to which the 20th Century has sunk is illustrated by life imitating television. Life used to imitate Art hut alas no More. The stubble device allows one to shave without looking like it. It seems a close shave is the last thing desired by today s hottest. With the stubble device the sizzling ones can maintain a uniform stubble Day after Day from a Subtle one Day Shadow to a heavier five Day since i m among today s coldest this puzzles me. I went to a wine Fesl recently and noticed several vagrant who were soaked sloshed and steeped in wine. They happened to be catching a Snoop by a Fountain when i spotted them. Each of them had a fashionable stubble. I decided that they Loo were among the hottest. Perhaps these men watch american television on an i told myself. I be noticed others among the holiest who often Slop me in the and solicit spare change. Bleary eyed1 ant shaky of hand they Jaitay be but obviously they own a stubble device. I was As Plain As the Grimy whiskers on heir faces. I often walk past a Schnell i miss on my Way to work. Many of the layabout i see popping off a cold Beer at 7 . In the rain appear to use the stubble device. In s an zing How popular it s become in such a Short Lime if these men arc among today s hottest 1 Tell myself they must have legions of women running after them. Don t the ladies Complin when the stubble grinds their fashionable faces of course everyone knows women ire tougher than they used to be that s very fashionable also. And Toiv does one know which length of stubble is de Rigueur i if i must cultivate stubble i want to be at the melting Point. White hot not just red hot or cod forbid lukewarm. Think of All the bearded men trying to clip Down to the proper stubble of All the clean shaven men staring in the Mirror wait ing for whiskers so t hey can go out and sizzle. I believe i la sit this one our i could be wrong. I be been waiting a Long time for leather trousers earrings and necklaces to go the Way of All rages. Nevertheless i still see them on today s holiest Guys. But if the Fellows at the i miss Are Sparling stubble surely today s hottest Are ready to move or to something else. The ladies always have the last word with this sort of thing and i just Don t think they la put up with it much longer. Kissing has been in style for an awfully Long Lime. If you want to go to the Beach behave by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners a longtime Friend of my Fiance thinks that i think that tie s the lowest of the Low. Welt he s no the lowest but he it rather Law. I guess i behaved badly at hit House and so he told my Liance thai i am no longer Welcome Here. This is til right really since t never liked it Over there. Sometimes i wonder Why i went there at All. The problem is thai this Guy frequently drives to the Beach. My Fiance and 1 used to go alone but now i m afraid i won t be Able to. Do you have any words or me besides i told you so gentle Reader How about i told you you can t pick a fight with someone and then expect a favor from him afterwards actually miss manners never told you hat. She would have thought you were Clever enough to realize it for yourself. Dear miss manners i bought All this Beauli Lul double fold paper to use for my Handwritten wedding invitation and i have Tome left Over. If t want to use in to write longer letters is it of to fill up All the Page in what order and should i number them then How should i old i i bought a Fountain pen for the same purpose and now doubt i la Ever use anything else gentle Reader Welcome to the wonderful world of letter writing featuring not Only the fun of Fountain pens but the crispness of Good paper the sense of accomplishment when you drop your work into the postbox and the Happy anticipation Thil someone else in the world also still practices this Lovely Art so you might even gel a reply. What you have is proper ladies writing paper gentlemen s is a larger single Sheet and miss manners Hopes you will want to keep replenishing the Supply. By All Means write on All the pages. There Are two Correct methods of filling the inside turning the paper sideways and writing the full length or using the third Page As Page 2, and the second As Page 3. As this system is not conspicuous for its logic you May if you wish number pages 2 and 3 for people who can t understand Why the letter does t make any seme when read As Cine would a Book. Fold the finished letter in half and Pul the fold at the Bottom of the envelope with the salutation facing the Back of the envelope. By coincidence this does make some sense. When one slits the Tetter across the Flap the insides come out facing the Reader. Dear miss manners my wife and i will be observing our 35th wedding anniversary this year. Since i am a musician and will be producing a cassette tape of my music this year would in be proper for me to give a concert on that evening introducing some of the Musk that will be on the cassette and offering copies for Sale a reception for the people who attend the concert would follow the performance. Gentle Reader How much Are you charging for drinks How Aboul souvenir programs How Nice that you want to share the sentiment of he occasion with friends. Have you thought however of simply entertaining them it could either be in the traditional Way offering food drink and conversation or you could give a Little Musicale preceded or followed by those ingredients provided thai you inform people of the nature of the occasion beforehand. But you cannot use a social event for merchandising purposes. You might try pretending thai you Are performing As a tribute to your wife without suggesting that you arc doing Ilas a fund Raiser for her future. Dear miss manners my son hat attended Many birthday parties in his first years of Grade school. I buy Nice presents Between $6 and $10 depending on the child. Should the Mother of the birthday child Send a trunk you to the parents and or child in the in Lull the birthday child ends up with about 30 presents what a Dayl and i Lee it s Only police to thank the Parent who drove to the store purchased a gift and wrapped it gentle Reader the Mother of he child who has had 30 children at his birthday parly ought to be spending the next Day in bed with a Cool compress on her forehead not writing thank you letters to the guests mothers. The fiction is that in is the children themselves who give and receive presents not the mothers. That Means that guests mothers should require their children to help with the selection White the birthday child Musl express his own thanks. The parental work in both these matters is considerable but in is supposed to be a learning experience As they say in the Trade. Written thanks arc not required for Token presents delivered in person. If a present is sent the birthday child must write if pre literate he must be present at the writing taking Over the wording of the letter. Top Lemur is 19s& trip i mtg aint 3
