European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 4, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns yuletide what to do about what to give by John Windrow i have a Good pal named frenchy who has built in wine detection. Whenever i restock my cellar which is actually a cardboard Box on the Balcony he show up to ravage it. Although i love him like a brother i always hide a few Boll Les of the Good stuff the wine with corks instead of screw on Caps under he bed so i la have a sip for a Rainy afternoon. Frenchy appeared the other Day after i d made a trip to the wine cellar. I d been Home for several hours before his arrival and had begun to wonder if he were out of Lown when he rang the Bell. Frenchy said he had been visited with a sudden uncontrollable urge to Tay eyes upon me but had been delayed hiding the children s Christmas presents. My old Man sent a caravan of goods from the sales frenchy said. You got any wine i was already unscrewing a bottle and poured him a Glass. I keep special Small glasses on hand for frenchy. He drained it refilled it and drained it again. These sure Are Little glasses you have he said reaching for the bottle. I know i said sympathetically. Someday i la have logo out and gel some bigger maybe i la get you some for Christmas frenchy said. So what Are your kids getting for Christmas frenchy i still Haven t Given Emall the stuff dad sent last year frenchy complained. He sent pm everything Hen but a float trip Down the what about this year tons of Junt frenchy said tossing off his wine. Tons. Bruno s gift is a Battery operated machine gun that fires tiny Sharp projectiles perfectly designed to put Lave me s eyes Bruno must be his favorite i said. I think so frenchy said waving his empty Glass at me. The bottle was empty too. I buy special Small bottles for frenchy. He Send Vernea doll that Wels her pants and vomits. I can hardly wait until she starts painting the Walls with and lots of other stuff mountains of it frenchy said. You got another bottle of this where do you find it anyhow ii tastes like it s got soy sauce in it May have i said. If s japanese wine. They re still trying to break into the european Market. U s very cheap frenchy said. The word you re grasping for is cheap despite the wine he stayed complaining hat everything his kids got for Christmas was impossible to assemble very loud or life threatening when operated and incredibly breakable. He sent Bruno a drum one Christmas frenchy said. You Ever come Home to a woman who s spent a Rainy German Winter Day shut up in the House with a 3-year-old and a drum frenchy Shook his head. The drum s the Only thing my old Man Ever Send Hal would t whal d he Send Laverne last year i asked returning from the Balcony with a fresh bottle of in de of Adonaise frenchy gave me a pained expression. He sent her a Barbie that does l sound so bad i said pouring out a Glass you Don t understand frenchy said. It was a Stark naked Barbie doll. He did t even have the decency to Send her with a change of underwear. You go any idea what those clothes Cost and you be got to buy 300 he rolled his Eye. Barbie goes to the Racetrack. Barbie get married. Barbie gets pregnant. Barbie goes to work in Power suits. My wife went a year without so much As a pair of gloves because Barbie was having such 3 whirlwind social i never knew dolls could be so much trouble i said. Frenchy look another sip. You should have seen in when Barbie went to the . Game he said. I ended up paying for everything but a red Cadillac with steer horns on the Hood and an Oklahoma License was your old Man this Way when you were a kid frenchy Are you kidding frenchy said draining his Glass. One year i asked him for a firetruck and he gave me two Sticks to rub together. Once i got a Slingshot and the next yuletide i got the pebbles to go with ii. One year when the Cotton Market was Down frenchy said ribbing his Beard he told me Santa Claus had defected to the does he Send you anything now sure he does frenchy said every year he sends me but you Don t own a that does t Slop him. I gel great big yellow Pink and Paisley ties the kind hop Heads used to Wear in Juke joints in new Orleans in the 50s. I must have 25 of he finished my wine and went Home. I turned on the radio. The Lead Story was about the great Christmas Rush Back in the states. One hot item the newscaster said was $2,000 handbags. There must be an awful lot of people out there who just Don t know what to give each other. Christmas gifts Are always a problem for me too none of my friends really need anything except peace on Earth and Goodwill to men which Are in precious Short Supply these Days. But this year i think i la break Down and gel frenchy some decent wine corks and All. Those personal questions have her up in the air by miss manners untied feature Syndicate dear miss manners my husband world for a Large Itri lne that hat been in news headline numerous Tolmei during the put few Yean because of severe financial Low cutbacks and merger Rumon. We have teamed to live with the uncertainty of Hli Iowa in nation but i Haven t yet round a Way to Deal with the crop exam Nalion we an subject to from Friend relative and casual every ume the Media do a Flory on the subject although i unde Tan that people Are concerned i Fml it annoying 16 be asked whether my husband wih be Laid off or h he hat had hit salary Cut my manner Fiji i Correct in Fedling out interested Putits Lould withhold their inquiries to tip we generate do not prefer uni More pet want topic of conversation if to can you Lugg Eit a polite Way for in to let people know that their Quei tons verge on being offem Ivet gentle Reader no doubt these people think they Are showing sympathy for your plight and generously offering you a Chance to unburden yourselves of your worries. You must make it Clear that you do not Welcome this sort of participation in your possible troubles. You cannot be rude yourself miss manners does not allow Hal under any circumstances but you must demonstrate that you Are not dying to pour out your hearts. A firm you Are kind to take an interest but we Are hoping for the Best should do it persistent questioners May have to be told it is nothing we wish to discuss before you pointedly change the subject. Dear miss manners my Only litter will not be Able to attend our daughter s wedding because the cannot take leave from her Job. Her Only daughter who will be on vacation from Rouege then will not be attending because her Mother cannot come. The fact that my Niece will not be there to represent her family udder me and Hurt my feeling. All of i five always been on the most Loving term and i
