European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 15, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Humor is in for 86 yuletide cards associated press Ai Huy Gwist Masand , Ohio non limit it which searchers say Coos Hack to for Viand in 1h-i3 re main the most soil Houghl on Ihn a Luigj cards Loda i.1 him Colo who in. R .1, Fri in Ite i the Christmas i Arr Thori i. I i postal Eloim it possible Lom nil i r " a find 1.11 fur .1 Penny .1 l. In Inar Tiv i Rind Johnc Alcola Hois Lcy. To Ord which Hod three panels i illustration showed the elders it a family i ii wine glasses a Toast theolor a Jan cos it i Hornc its remain much the same Mil Raul Imlej n Nurr Hrar of Nair i in -.irn.i-, if o by r s i i it it time in ii. Ii. Nil a i u i. i Urai Iarj ii. Yli inc Long old in i to a Tok rin9 l1 / ii i. I or r r ,-.,nin" to Lori Cit. Origin Rio yellow or Ronli i Hui. Aryl in ii n a ,-Ri--i,7 i i no initial Linro through 4 i. I i l Yul More a parse and Fli uni Mph tray. In l Al hut 1 Rathor lorm color in riled Dulbs. ,-i,.i i. Us inc Jumon no Lilai Nettl i i ii in ton ," i to Placo Birutis on an i a i in i random place Mcnol Rel Light slings. Ercale a Ici i i no Lizmi slur Ira. Over inc tin Rrt .1to a spiral of Ikjtn-., Iping and Topping an even spiral or i i. s lungs m horizontal loops around Iho tree Oil says you can also Wale a Holiday message in Lic Juhli to two Light san rims so that bulbs Aro spacer 2 inches apart then spell the message by attaching the i Chis to Posler Oaid Wilh insulated Sla Oliv. M Krisl Lios associated press there Are obviously More ways than one to bring Home a Christmas tree a Here in Minneapolis. Up ill Palolo Erma Bombeck us of Jvon Owide commitments Sarta Glaus till i it ii country no Cailini than one Wink Pio Corlin Chrismar and on Christmas eve because of ii lightness of his schedule Media coverage of his visit will tin limited and commercial ventures eliminated in Likely Santa will not sell wine coolers exec Eric shavers or Carh Licals to get your Carpel cleaned in Lime Tor Christmas he will nol hover Over shopping centers in a helicopter directing you to a hardware store on a bullhorn to will not stand in a grocery store aisle and pass out tree samples of Mon Loroy Jack cheese Santa Claus is not a businessman he Wilt not deliver packages hot Wax your car in a car Wash or pretend his Reindeer eat cat Lood he will nol sell insurance on television to those 55 or Over without a physical to will not have Lime to do talk shows or sketches on saturday night live " interviews and serious conversations will of limited to children three eel tall or under his name and privacy must be respected All ideas or those who wish to impersonate Santa Claus Musl first be submitted to the North pole. That would eliminate the Case of a Palice dicer in Miami Beach last year who dressed up As Santa Claus and was arresting vagrants during the Holiday season. This is locally out of keeping with the duties of the real Santa Claus and confuses his children. Regarding Santa s appearance and image he will not go on a die As was suggested by the new York diet Center Santa Claus is in Good health weighs 300 pounds and How he gels Down a Chimney is his secret. Eating food Hal is left for him by the world s children is part of his duties and he takes them seriously to avoid confusion Over the real Santa Claus and impostors these Are the things to look Lor the real Santa never runs out of Lap. He can Hod As Many As a dozen children on it at one Lime. He never perspire wears a Wristwatch loses his temper takes a Public bus or makes promises he cannot keep he never quits Early to have a cigarette or slops by a bar for a Dunk. He never panics when there is no Snow for his Reindeer or no fireplace for him to descend 11 you can see the reflection of a child s wonderment in his eyes he is the real spirit of Christmas. It still in doubt ask a child. He can Tell you in a minute Page 16 the stars and stripes monday december 15,1986
