European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 25, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Magazine Lisa Khammi   to Sperti i .1 i to i Oum   it inc i  Loicl mkt Fri i f  i Giulii he Loo i a Lirije girl Fri lit. I her lather said in Lii not i T Tfir it out of Iho room Holm Phinij a i in  i.  filed Back 1.irt i ii Aliy 11 a i Lisa s slip   .1  like to Point out thai she wild r i ii l no  for a Storn nth i h,-.-.i-, Uch technicality ire 1111 in n,ii.-Tinr-,l ,1 child s age Andin la i irl in i by a Mizinga Sec Molher Ollon ,. Uili  Phron Liko an endless  to i l nary for  lie cause she was uni i a inf unwanted however Ephrun i oru Watly realised Hal the situation prose riled nth i . Slept other to a boy anal ii Jirl and second wife to their father who a r. It own second husband. Ephron ene i d up wanting a Book on the modern Exour Loicl tarni1-. Or As the subtitle Puls it a tin sex. The sex s new male the new male s i. And the  the Book s title f univ sauce was also inspired by Lisa who when Ephron served her a Chicken dinner replied haughtily i Don l like Chicken in   " the 42-year-old Ephron sister of the author and screenwriter Nonni up Iron has been dealing in Lunny sauce Lor some Lime now her previous forays Mlo the  rituals of various a soups include Hon to Fil i firc a child and icon age to Runci a i inn of die of embarrassment in funny sauce so 05 Viking. Ephron. Who is married to Jerry Kii ,. A  has changed his children.  to protect their privacy. Eph on. Who livt1in i or an Jeles but was interviewed race Nelv n new York. First met her stepchild Ron Sevin or i Noju when they were 3 and 6 years old and in Hook contains a series of Short ?l Lur-., that constitute an Ephron analysis of ivys i wish i could Rny my  was unique hut Piudik stably  . Fining on in every Home " Dusci Tinc proved Gnu Cou i Slont source of conflict. I thought my husband was i being strict enough but what i found Oul was that slope authors and  nil think the real Parent of the kids in t being sir ice  Ephron reports. When you to a stepparent you think you re an unbiased observer when really you to an unbiased observer with a grudge because you to an outsider attic very thing that s making you unbiased is something you resent " Ephron came to see her own expo Clarono As unrealistic. The kids i talked to did t lend to think of stepparents As parents even when they liked them a Tot she Nolos la s Tho fantasy of the adult and it s not an approx rial expectation Tho peace i be made with stepparent ing Carne from accepting the limits on Tho relationship you to not the Parent and you May never be the no the child  when he bursts into tears " she also discovered Tai Tona cily with which children of divorced per nil j hold Onlo their Tavonte fantasy thai their parents will reunite they will say to you i know that my Mol Hor and kalhor will never gel Back together and then they ii come up Wilh  amazing fantasy like the Stepmother tailing Oil a Cliff at Iofi very same moment Tho Stepfather got hit by a  Ephron reports interviewing children around the United tales Ephron was struck by How angry Hoy were and she came of see Many of the Standard platitudes offered by adults As inadequate it not ridiculous. Gown ups always Tell choir children. Parents May got divorced but i hey never divorce their children " Ephron s own perspective has evolved considerably until wrote about it i did not fully understand what re real i real a stepparent poses to children and How vulnerable Hoy Are she admits i my head i understood it bul i did t understand in my heart the thing hat changed me most was realizing that everyone else was in a really difficult situation Loo i was seeing myself As a victim the children were seeing themselves As the victims my sex husband was caught Between us so he was the victim his sex Wile was seeing he sell As the victim and i started to think Are we going to make a career out of mis i began to see Hal i did t want to go through Lile seeing myself As a deprived person and i started so empathize Wilh everyone in the family i Learned not to Laka everything  and time itself has helped to knit the new family together i think a lot of these things go on because the feeling in t there  Ephron observes. Now i know How much my sle kids care about me and these issues Don t matter As much  she smiles delighted As a child who has gust been Given a Christmas present a horse even. They love  she says. By Leslie Bennetts new York times thursday december 25. 1986 the stars and stripes Page 13