European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 28, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Sunday december 28, 1986 the stars and stripes Page 11 Arm Landers letters dear Ann Landers please let me use your column o get an important message Over to millions of people. What 1 have to say is a matter of life or death and i want As Many people to Sec it As possible. Think about this the next time you Are at a singles bar in does t have to be a Gay bar any meal Market will do and you Sec an attractive Man and he wants o buy you a drink or she accepts your offer for a cocktail and Friendly conversation follows and the question comes up about gelling la know one another better. You know the line i be run Inlo nothing but creeps lately. You re the first really interesting person i be met in  then he or she comes onto you after you be had a third drink and you get to thinking Why not and the next question is your place or mine ask yourself one More question is this Roll in he sack Worth dying for i m talking about aids. That might be the Price. You Don t have to be involved with a Gay or a bisexual to get it. We now know that the aids virus can be picked up while engaging in heterosexual Intercourse. And the person you get it from does t have to have the disease. He or she can be a Carrier who would lest Posi Tive but have no symptoms. Scary you d better believe it because it s a different world out there and the old rules Don t apply any More. Sign me no Cassandra just factual in Santa Barbara dear factual so How can i person be Safe according to Harold w. Jaffe , chief. Epidemiology Branch aids program Cen Len for disease control in Atlanta falling total abstinence the Best alternative is a monogamous relation ship with a person who i completely faithful. If this in not feasible the condom is i must. There must be no Exchange of semen blood or  dear Ann Landers i have followed your column faithfully Over the years and find your advice very sound. 1 never thought i would be writing you but 1 really need some help. My two grown sons in their 30s fight so much in has become impossible to have them 10 family parties. I can t invite one and not the other so i Don t Insue either one. The boys Don l gel along with their sister. She barely Speaks to them it would take too Long to go into Why they feel and act the Way they do but believe me when i say it s not Worth All the Hale thai has been generated. Each one is convinced that he she is right and will not Budge an Inch to make amends. Is there anything i can do to get them together 1 have already shown them clippings from your column on this subject but to no Avail. As a grandmother i am very unhappy that 1 am no longer Able to have my family Over for holi Days and family get together. Any suggestions beleaguered in Baltimore dear b these stubborn fools will probably slay  until there s a death in the family. Then they will kick them selves for having wasted so Many years being hateful and mean spirited. Since you re shown them some of my columns on this subject to no availing won t Hart la show them one Mare. Good Lack. And please let me know if in helped. That would make my Day. Dear Ann a word to the Guy who suggested that men be allowed to move a mistress m with the wife to alleviate the Man shortage i say Ilsa great idea iwo women sharing a Home and expenses and enjoying one another s company. My question is Why bother with the Man a radar Ali Hong id Writa to news Amilca by Vicale columnist Lanaie May Addra half he two in Caia of the Sara and suite. Apo 09211, . Forte wives respond to woman go s advice being an army wife for 17 years i As do most other women realize our husbands work and go to Field with female soldiers. It May come As a Shock to you but in realty does t bother most of us. We know our Hus bands would t Hurt us or jeopardize their reputation or their careers by doing anything dumb. In closing i would like to say if you know you re not fooling around and Are doing your Job the Best you can you have nothing to worry about. Sharon Heath a Lucli Goens Germany i m sort of writing a rebuttal to the Teller titled woman Soldier has suggestions for  number one i m Happy that you re a Soldier female Al thai in the army and Happy with your career. 1 also agree with you that in order to get the Job done you All Musi pull together and encourage each other to make it work. I highly disagree on the so called social functions. Please get your facts straight Only with a couple who has problems marital will the male Soldier take you female Soldier to a social function instead of his own wife. Other than that hell go alone due to Dif Ferent reasons no baby Sitter wife still Al work Etc. Mandated or not i be yet to hear of a function where wives Are not invited. As for the Beers after duly hours 1 believe that thai is not part of the Job qualifications. One of the Rea sons Uncle Sam built offices with doors is that they can be used for privacy during duly hours or if need be a couple of hours after duty hours depending on the situation. How can you get privacy drinking Beer at a bar with 10 to 20 other people around you please when some of us wives do come to the office to Sec our husbands it does pertain to some thing of interest to Home life which he does have you know. If his door is closed some of us do wait if it s not too important or we leave a message. We do not Barge in unless it s important. What i m saying is thai we do Trust our Hus bands but you really can t blame us for being leery of same females be they civilian or in the service. The same goes for men they Trust their wives but Don t Trust the men out there. Babble Brown Giessen Germany i agree with parts of your letter but other parts put me on the defense. As for Irusle you have to Nave this element in a marriage whether in the military or civilian life. As for male and female soldiers sleeping in the same Lent you should realize this situation should have been worked out ahead of Lime before deploy ment. What army does t have enough tents surely not the . Army. As for talking to a husband Al a bar where is the professional part in his situation Many wives do not approve of so called mandatory part of the Job Beers whether with male or female soldiers. If you have a problem keep i Al the office like a professional Soldier. Docs the army ask Loo much of tin army wife is his inc reason for so much unrest in the army family should we As wives sit Hack and accept every thing Josl Mccase the army says that s the Way i fish i for one say no. Shirley ii. Pate Aupp Slerk Germany i am a former single attractive Nice figured sol Dier Al the present Lime i am a married attractive with ii Nice figure remember husbands do not like fat wives army wife. Not one time in my whole career As a woman has any wife accused me of Messing around with her husband. I have laughed joked and smiled at men however i would never touch them no matter How innocent especially if i did not know their wives. That will never fail to get rumours started. I understand going on missions my husband goes on quite a few. But if you really wanted to you could stretch out the time. In has been done. So go do what has to be done and gel Hack. As for social functions if you arc going to dances with him i d say something is wrong with that. How come i m not going instead it s never happened before to me tit i must admit 1 would be irritated especially if it were after duly hours. If Icse social functions arc business then drop the social part and add business instead if the army cares about families As much As it says then it had better Start inviting wives to dances Loo. As far As going out for a Beer after duly hours that is just ridiculous. If you can t get your business done during duly hours you d better either wait for him to gel there in he morning or conduct your business in inc office. You be got no business claiming this a part of the  the army does t like alcohol either remember if he wants to let off steam thai is what i am Here for. I am his wife. You say get to know the female soldiers. 1 have tried and experience shows me that they d rather be talking to the Guys even though you May be sitting right next to the female. I have been ignored in my own Home and snubbed in Public by female soldiers. When i am introduced i be been glared at and treated As if i Don t exist. However i will be standing right next to my husband and these females Wilt chit Chat non Slop with my husband. Nobody said i trusted or did t Trust my husband. Bui do no know what is going on in that marriage there May be a Good reason for that wife s mistrust although i Don l agree with hysterical confrontations in Public. I understand there arc a lot of paranoid jealous wives out there but there arc also wives who Aren t like that. Just like there Are a lot of wives snubbing female sol Diers but i am sure there Ore plenty of Nice ones too. My advice to you is that you d belter look at your self and see i maybe you re presenting yourself in inc wrong Way. It s All in the Way you carry yourself. You should make More of an Effort with the wives in Stead of trying so hard with the husbands. Name withheld to Eslingen Germany pen pals i bin a 20-Yiar-old Oimen Gin who would Ilka to a Riduca end Colin by Catt a onding when americans and can Diane i am a us rotary. Manuola Lander in Kirc Hapit a 3 75hournwrah�lm we Germany i am e9 Yarg c4d. T have a Degraa in accounting and am presently with Tuple Rwjr. T Iliin old songs. American movies dancing and going out. Virginia Alcoria Upas an cagey an Daoro City  i am looking to pan Pilot. L am 23 Yonari old. My How it dancing pent Pho Grippy and final. 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