European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 15, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns our Way of life is under ferocious attack by John Windrow mjg foe editor if there s Ever a Lime that cries out for silence it s 7 30 in the morning. The world stumbles ahead at hat time i know that. Traffic moves the breakfast dishes Are stacked and newspapers Rustle. But the world sleepwalk the Rusly gears of routine Slit move it half Speed. It can be a pleasant time if one iries 1o maintain a Good attitude. Anything calling for Strain or exertion is Best put off until later. That s where i found myself the other Day sitting in the snack bar of my local Cavern Savouring my third cup of Coffee perusing the newspaper plotting the intrigues of another Day in the office. Suddenly i heard a train derailment or something very much like in blasting its Way into the roam the volume was so overwhelming that the sound Waves ripped through my ears and hit me in the stomach i Tore two pieces at White bread asunder and stuffed them into my poor ears and assumed the position of instant Teeth rattling Impact head Between the Knees arms wrapped securely around my legs. No Impact except for the wave after wave of noise. In sounded As if All the devils in hell had been released from a bottomless pit and were roaring around me like a typhoon. When 1 mustered the courage to steal a glance i realized someone had activated the Jukebox in the Corner. I could launch into an impassioned Pica for the death Penally at this Point but i d rather discuss machinery. This Jukebox which i assume consumes As much Energy 35 the cily of los Angeles resembled nothing i had Ever seen. Ii stood about 12 feel High. A giant to screen Sal atop in flashing smoke and flame. Two people who had unleashed it upon the rest of us Sal beneath ii gazing stiff necked at the screen soaking up the show like sponges at the Bottom of the sea watching a tidal wave pass above them. I realized sadly thai jukeboxes have gone Over to the other Side the be become bad machines. I have this theory Aboul machines. Good ones make life More pleasant bad ones get everything moving faster usually louder when the world really in t going anywhere. Drink shakers for example Are very pleasant machines. Pour in the booze the fizz maybe a of sugar and give in All a gentle shake. Out comes i sparkly Frothy concoction. Electric blenders Are bad. They re too Bud too fast and Lack the trappings of elegance of Leisure of relaxation. The same Case can be made for toothpicks As opposed to electric toothbrushes manual corkscrews and electric corkscrews Butcher knives and electric carving knives bicycles and motorcycles dolls that Are mule and dolls that blather away like real children comfy old cars that Putter gently through the languid Countryside and the sleek big loathed monsters that howl up and Down the autobahn jukeboxes used to be Good machines. They were built to human scale. One dropped in a Coin a slowly moving Arm Wen Back and Forth with refreshing hesitation until it selected a disk and plopped it on the turntable that revolved at a reasonable Speed the Sharp eyed could even read the Label on the record while it spun around after a few scratches and hisses music came music also was something thai could be related to human experience. Something like they Tell me thai you re really looking Fine i got the hang Tes toryo love and i m waiting in your welfare line. Or maybe i got a woman Igot a bulldog Loo my Toman she Don t love me. But my bulldog do. I dare not guess what lyrics came out of the lowering inferno of a Juke Box thai attacked me the other morning in the snack bar. Mere words could not be nicked out of All that noise. I m sure the two people Laid out under the Jukebox Don t kno Welther. They appeared to be in a state of severe narcosis. The to screen showed a sweeping panoramic View of a crowd at a concert. They ail had their eyes shut heir Mouths hanging open and they waved their arms to and fro Tike brain dead zombies receiving instructions to go out and live off human flesh i find it Ery hard to believe thai they were aware of anything like lyrics either. Of course lyrics Are uncalled for since All of these people must be deaf. Thai s Why they have to have the video. The two characters in the snack bar must have been deaf or How else could they have sat so close to something that sounded like downtown Beirut when the shills and the christians Are having at each other the band consisted of a Singer who looked like a Hairdresser a guitar player who looked Eike a linebacker and a drummer in a red hat who looked like a tractor Driver. If it weren t for these i incredible jukeboxes they might All be out fluffing Coiffe Urs sacking quarterbacks and breaking ground would to god in were to take me Back to those Lovely jukeboxes of yesteryear thai thing in the snack bar is not a Jukebox. It is a frenzied assault on Western civilization. Woman pursuing co worker seeks advice by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners about three weeks ago i telephoned a gentleman of my acquaintance and asked it i might Call upon him thai evening. He received me Moil graciously and we Penl a delightful evening together. We enjoyed each other company 90 much that i stayed until the next morning. Since that occasion we have met in passing several Lime at our Mutual place of Bui inti. We have spoken warmly but briefly having Little time for conversation during working hours. I now consider the gentleman to be a Friend not merely an acquaintance and e believe he considers me in the same tight. Ii is Only the press of business that has kept us apart. I should like to visit the gentleman again t cannot extend my hospitality to him As my household is temporarily in disarray and unsuitable for entertaining i do not want to appear Forward or overeager but i would like to continue a Friendship that hat been to Well begun. What should i do gentle Reader can i come Over to your House and play is simply not a proper invitation to Issue. You cannot simultaneously count this at a budding Friendship in which the social Rule requires offering your own hospitality to Hose you wish to cultivate. And an old fashioned courtship in which you As the lady repay the gentleman s one sided efforts As Host merely with the pleasure of your company Especial by since he has t asked you perhaps the gentleman would be flattered if you issued an invitation that suggested that you would enjoy such aspects of his company As his conversation. Invite him out fora meal or a cultural or sports event you think he might enjoy. Miss manners does not count Hal As Forward provided you do not deluge him with attention thai he begins to show e finds unwelcome. But it is too Forward for either gender or under any circumstances to pre empt someone else s privilege of inviting you to his or her own House. Dear miss manners my husband and i were raised in opposite environments he grew up in new Vork City plums while i had a Middle clan upbringing. He hat fought hard to overcome his background and has finally achieved some respect and a Good reputation in our town As a teacher. The other night after a movie my husband wanted to walk for a White. I had no abjection except that it was ii . And he wanted to walk Down the main Street. I tugged item we walk around the Small shopping Center and parking lot area near the theater which was More pleasant and where we would t be to conspicuous. He became very upset and told me i was being ridiculous i explained in did t seem quite proper for people with our reputation to be seen walking Down the main Street where the lowlifes Hung out or where teen Ager cruised and Tat on their car Aton the Boulevard. I know i would think in Odd in 1 Law a respected Well known person walking Down the Hiruy Street at that hour. I would tee nothing improper about walking a dog in a residential area. My husband said i Wai wrong and insisted in Wai no breach of etiquette. 1 told him it was More a Nutter of feeling out of place than being right or wrong. What ii your feeling gentle Reader respectability is not a Mailer of geography. If it were morality would be running rampant in the High rent District and such is not miss manners experience. Ust As your husband s character was not damaged by growing up in the slums it cannot be affected now by which Street he walks upon. Aside from safety considerations which Are another matter and could even be More hazardous in a deserted residential area than in a crowded lowlife District honest people should walk where they wish. Who knows perhaps some teen Ager Wilt be inhibited from poor behaviour by the presence of a respected teacher. In any Case your husband seems to have made his Way up in life without acquiring silly snob eries. Miss manners requests you please not to attempt to Complete this part of his education. Dear miss manners How do you politely Ted a stranger an acquaintance or a relative that they need to Brush their Teeth or have a dentist clean their Teeth i am interested in Ihli subject front a Public health standpoint and also to beautify the City gentle Reader How Public spirited of you. What do you plan to do for people you consider Loo fat or too ugly find a polite Way to mention to them that you really think they ought to do something to beautify the City moving abroad for example there Are plenty of legitimate outlets for people who Are interested in working or contributing Money in the areas of Public health or civic beautification. Insulting people on the streets is no one of them. 2 stripes Migu int Janu Urf 15, its
