European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 28, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Pega 16 columns the stars and stripes wednesday. January 28,1987 what to do with five year Holiday by Andy Rooney you get thinking about life and Alt that important and depressing it Altal the beginning of a new year. I was thinking what i d like at this time in my lire ii five Yean off Wilh pay. Then i d like to come Back to work. I Haven t approached he company with his proposition became companies Don t Nave senses of humor. What would i do Wilh five year off i be made a list of hings i d like to spend a year doing. The list is not in order of importance one year would be spent putting All the Memen tos i be saved into some order. Right now they re inboxes and drawers All Over two houses and one office. I d find every picture 1 Ever look and buy albums to paste hem in with captions and Dale. Each group of pictures would have ils own album and in some cases the category would take up several albums. There would be a set of albums for All my family pictures beginning when the children were babies and continuing on through the pictures i have of their babies. There would be several albums of world War in pictures i look and several More albums not of Pic Tures but of newspaper clippings. I be even kept the reviews of things i be written when the criticism was unfavourable. Maybe i d put the bad reviews in their own album and not show that Book to my grandchildren when they grow up. When i be finished organizing my pictures an newspaper clippings i d Start making same order out Oral the great letters i be received and saved. While it does t interest me so much i d spend a Small part of that same year collecting and filing Al the official documents i be been told to save. I d Nave my birth certificate and my passport where i always could find them. I d know where die deed to the House and the original Survey of the property were. I d Pat All my insurance policies in one folder i d move to Paris for a year and become fluent in French. I have no great interest in travelling but i like Paris. I like the French and think that taming to speak and write Well in a second language a a big Nipin expanding your understanding of your first Lan Guage. Learning a second language makes you aware of sentence Structure and nuances of meanings in words. I d spend a year trying to write a play. I m not sure i could write a Good one but it would be inter Esting to try if 1 had a year. One year would be divided Between going to a Good cooking school like the culinary Institute of America and writing a Book about eating. Attending the cooking school would give the Book More authority. Now Alii have on food a opinions. If 1 Learned co Cook professionally i could write As an expert too. My knowledge of the aits and of literature is woe fully inadequate. I like Good books Good music an great an i Only like great Art not Good Art but pm pm barraged about How Little i know of any of them. I d spend a year immersing myself in culture. I d read All morning go to museums All afternoon and attend concerts every evening i d make a list of 100 great books and i d read two of them a week until i d gone through the list. Just ask me about Plato Somerset maugham or Samuel Johnson when the year is Over. Ask me to hum a few bars of a Bach fugue in d minor. Come to think of it maybe what i need a 10 Yean off. I m Only getting started on the things i d like to spend a year doing. If i m going to ask the company for five years off i might As Well do it right and ask for 10. With pay of course. C Tel Burn a do 54wus language mangled by dangles by James Kilpatrick clarinet St Benny Goodman died this past june. United press International provided an obituary out of new York bom in Chicago Goodman s career began in an  that is what is known in the Trade As a Dangle. Have another horrid example this one dealing with a Ballpark announcer built on lop of the Concession stand the official scorekeeper lets the. Crowd know whether the Pilch was a Ball or strike and then there was an interview Wilh actress Jacqueline Biss Clu sealed on a White divan her Gray eyes followed me about the room on close examination it will be seen thai ii was not Goodman s career that was bom in Chicago the announcer was not built on top of he Concession stand and those Gray eyes were not seated upon the while divan. In each instance the writer launched into a preliminary clause or phrase and forgot to attach the words to q proper subject. The words just sort of Well dangled. There s much to be gained in prose style by breaking the Monotony of subject predicate object in straight declaratory sentences offering a bit of variety the opening participial phrase has much Appeal. But give the poor thing a Home Don t let it be an orphan. Mangles Are not to be confused Wilh dangles. A mangled sentence is a sentence that gets run Over by some absent minded syntax. Writing recently in the los reps Sun a columnist had something to say about the Ayatollah Khomeini he thumbed american hostages under our noses for All the world to see our  How s that again in the Indianapolis Star an automobile columnist set out to explain horsepower the fundamentals of going fast Are rather  rather Basic too. A staff writer for the stars and stripes interviewed the retiring chief of executive services for department of defense dependents schools in the Mediterranean re Gion. The defense department s schools have attracted lop notch teachers the educator said and they have first rate materials to work with. This i think makes our system great and one that can be equated As being better than the school systems in the  maybe the school chief actually said thai something could be equated As being better but if so he mangled his thought. The same thing happened in the Iowa City press Citi zen when a sports columnist tackled a complaint by Haw Keye coach Hayden Fry it appears that Fry was unhappy about press criticism after his loss to Ohio slate. The columnist speculated that by jumping on the sportswriters Fry was Only trying to get i team emotionally re charged. I Hope that s it said the columnist because 95 percent of the articles written about Hayden Fry have been praiseworthy and he s earned every one of  sometimes a mangle results from an altogether wrong word. Writing in Parade Magazine a feature writer described Thomas Jefferson s Tome at Monti cello. At Daybreak Long terraces surge with Light and reflect on the Rich Green vernacular of , i have lived 45 years in Virtinia and h7s True that some virginians do Speal a Little funny they have a Way with diphthongs that makes a Moose run about the Boose. Bat the vernacular in t Rich and Green. It s just old and wed polished. A columnist in Florida today published in Trevani county had a wrong word problem. He was recalling a childhood tradition in he family. Everyone piled into a car and drove about the Neighb Frimod looking at Christmas decorations we reserved one night out four hectic Holiday season for some harmless  brother i would say to that columnist you d better Check on voyeurism. It in t As harmless As you think. Many mangles result from the misplacement of d Emels within a sentence. The associated press in september reported from Willoughby Ohio neigh Bors vainly tried to fight a fatal House fire in which three people were killed Wilh a Garden Hose while wait ing for  to arrive e Una jul Praml today s crossword by e1jg&ne Heffes across t or. Arijix5 cat a Tel Light fabrics 11 Emerald me 13 personal Ity part 14 House ceding Crow 41 red Tunt a umm Afteu Quoit Ida inc aitt43 Stanley 1 great lain-1 in to Fly my wife tuft Huberi