European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 29, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Thursday january 29, 1987 the stars and stripes Page 11 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers my Mother his attempted Sui a pfc several limes i m 17, the youngest in Ray family and the j Only one at Home with her. My parents often argue bitterly Ion the phone about another Woolum. After one of these con pc nation ust week my Mother j Wab wed t Bot lie of Tranquilii-1en right in front of me. Another i attempt was made after she had had reach for the pills myself. What should i Dot 17 going on 70 in mils. Dew 17 yer Mother Rands Deehr few nosed. Moreover Ihfe Felting of her anger and att Rayfea 00 Yetf which is letters urge your family doctor to insist thai she gel proves Lioba Theip. Then an chem Lola available under strict guidance of a physician that Codd put an end to her tatar of depression and Neddal to Barer. By my Cope with the Alma at Bone. Look up mental health in the phone Book Yaw father net help. To. The other woman undoubtedly triggers your Mother s despondent up club and he Needa to talk about it a Tor twi brother Why Haa he Hen term led to shirk All a a Odd a at your Side lend ing emotional support you on my All you can get dear Ann is for the person i got stuck next to last night. I went to a great Deal of trouble getting ready for the dinner party. T bought a new dress and purse and had my hair done. It was going to be a grand evening. But there you were ready with the detail of your opera Lions wailing for someone to sit Down so you could talk your head off your gallbladder problems were unappetizing to scythe least. I could t eat. Your varicose veins would t let me dance. Your kidney Stone made me Wood transfusions a rays and problems with the oxygen Lent sent me Home with a headache. I have Hud three major surgeries but i would dream of telling you or anyone else about them. Please sue your next dinner partner. You ruined my eve trapped in Maine Deu Maine Story about the Organ recital. People who talk about their operation or Tats or ache and pains Are world Dali bores. And almost always they arc totally i Senci ten to the effect icy have on others. The Best Way to escape s to become engrossed in Cater Salon with Ibe person on your other Side. If a bwe Butts in give him or her the blankets stare Ever Mvi America synd Aii thu Mem Linom Mac Smih Jour Toner. Youan Riib to tar in Uia Otha Sun tire ship. Apo 09211, to s Forcari Long hours Holiday duty draw comments this letter is in response to a Captain s Tetter an to All other commanders in Europe. My husband a Captain in the . Army. He has been in the military for 11 years and plans to retire from the military. He is extremely honest hardworking and dedicated to his profession and i was always proud to say my husband is a officer in . Army until recently. We have been in Europe since june 1985, and fever any tour has been a hardship it has been this one. Let me also stress that we Nave always been happily married and a very close family. My husband has worked 95-100 hours a wee since we arrived in Europe. He did not get the Job he was assigned to and he does not want i Job. I has done nothing but hinder the advancement of his career. Me has worked every Holiday and every Spe Cial occasion that has come up. Plus he has had to pull extra shifts to that a single officer could play baseball Tennis and football we have an 8-year-old daughter who hardly sees her dad while school is in Progress because dad is off on school Days not weekends. We have Bee unable to socialize because the functions we arc invited to either take place on a shift night or we Are too exhausted to attend. We never have a leisurely weekend of steeping in late and lounging around the House. We do not know the same people and rarely share anything As a couple let alone As a family. We drifted apart to the Point that we bad to seek a marriage Counselor As our marriage was pulling together again i be came pregnant with a Long awaited second child i miscarried on one of my husband s shift nights. Begot Relief to take me to the Hospital but he could not stay because be had to make up every hour the single officer pulled for him the next Day. Thank goodness his lieutenant colonel found help for loss of the baby was very emotional for him As Well As for me. Thanksgiving was two weeks later he worked. Then Christmas came he worked. New years he worked. Now i realize that 1 am nothing but a know the ones that cause you commanders such headaches and have been told Over and Over that the Mission comes first. Bui in the words of a close Friend who is a chaplain with the number of married personnel in the military today in is time we recognize the importance of the family on Job performance. Family problems affect the million so if we do everything we can to promote Harmony in the family our soldiers will carry out the Mission in a better More efficient these words of Wisdom Are so True. The Only other Way around it is to make sure no one in the military is married which would cause a severe manpower problem. With two divorces and two threatened divorces in the last year where my Hus band works i think that is what they Are striving for. Let us get serious Captain and others who share her opinion. You would spend a lot less time coun seling and improve the Overall morale of you troops if you took to heart the problems of married soldiers with children and single parents. It is obvious that this Captain is not a Parent audit is obvious that she has an attitude that if she can do it so can everyone else. Why does t she Slop and think about How she d feel maybe she would reconsider putting someone else through that grief. If she has to schedule a married person or single Parent to work a Holiday and take him away front those precious moments that can never be replaced then instead of quoting military regulations she should try a Little compassion. She might try an i m sorry and a maybe we could find someone to pull for you for a couple of hours so you could Bethere for dinner Etc. I bet the morale of her com Pany Battery or whatever would improve a lot. Name and location withheld i was very disturbed by one comment in you article dear Santa i m dreaming of a Blue in that article a Soldier expressed he disappointment Over being assigned cd duly on Christmas Day. She stated they know i have family so i thought someone Etse would get the duly " who do you expect to receive special consideration on the duty roster Aren t we All soldiers who perform the same duties in relation to rank Why should a single Soldier receive duly on Christmas just because a married Soldier wants to be with his her family who i might add lives with them All year. You Are luckier than most single soldiers in that you do have your family Here with you. I know Many soldiers who would give anything to be wit their families for even one Day. Everyone wants to be with his loved ones during the holidays. So please try to look at it from All sides. We re allover Here because we joined up and duly rosters Are something that All soldiers fall under regardless flex race or even marital status. After All this is he army. Pee. William Schunck Heidelberg i agree that no special consideration should be Given in the assignment of scheduled duties such As Field duty or cd. Does this Captain think this sol Dier would have been any happier having duty the Day before or even the Day after Christmas in order to watch her son open his presents ibis year Proba Bly not. Most cd rosters Are posted one to two weeks i Advance so that soldiers May be informed ahead of time of pending duties during Ibe Holiday Soldier could easily have spent Christmas like Day before or after her duly Dale with her son. Duties have also been known to be traded or sold for the right Price. In my six years in the army i have yet to meet first sergeant who would not allow someone to pull another Soldier s duty provided he was told ahead of time while still holding the assigned individual responsible for that Day 5 duty. If this Soldier did hot plan her Christmas around her duty Date then that was her fault. Surely she knew ahead of Lime. She was probably just blowing off some steam brought on by the potential problems that Holiday Lon Conns and depression May cause thai this cup Tain is so responsible for and attuned Loas a company commander. Everyone complains. I do it. The Captain does it and the Soldier docs it. It s a fact of life. But just because someone s sole opinion May not agree witha particular policy is no reason to terminate his service. Then the army would be left with a Skele ton Crew of mindless people. All the policies of the army could not possibly please everyone All the time but they serve to set standards instruct and manage affairs in the Beltway possible for the army As a whole. Without some kind of constructive disagreements or complaints no policy could be questioned reviewed or changed for the better if needed Randall a Holder Heidelberg european in the col Jem Rcv to Coo. � co it col Idun he l he Kilt. Camm new i i Crof Mieko mimic Raj Hustoh . 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