European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 6, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 columns the stars and stripes Friday. February 6,1987 today s crossword he s philosophical on philosophy Fly Russell Baker i have decided to read philosophy. I had always Cahl id Bui kept pulling it Oft you know How n is you Mark saturday nigh on the Calendar and say thai s when i Start Reading Wittgenstein then you wander Imo the video rental shop on saturday afternoon and the next thing you know you re walking out Wilh Rose Marie starring Nelson Eddy and canc Etc Macdonald you can always read Wittgenstein after doing the supper dishes and watching he Nick right just try it nobody can come 10 yips Wilh he categorical Imper alive for 24 hours after watching Nelson Eddy sing Indian love before proceeding let me Pray that America s philosophy professors do not write to Tell Trie it was 1 Wittgenstein who invented the categorical imperative i am still answering my torn the last time every philosophy professor in the land took umbrage because i d confused. Rene Descartes with David Hume. The professorial mail assault reminded me thai i had been intending to read philosophy Ever since leaving College. There i had taken a semester of philosophy but warned Little beyond the famous Wirtz sche Sartre formulation Niet Sdie is peachy hut Sartre is smarter later apologized to the professor for seaming so Little and promised to enrich inc rest of my life by Reading philosophy regularly even though he Wou a not be there to Grade me. Eul lift presents so Many distractions. First it was girls and beef then women and Gin. Then babies and,., -. To Vii my p,., the necessity to pay for groceries cars real estate lawsuits surgery. There was no end to people de manding Money and foolishly i had Tosen a life huh Muhib ,i1v.jj u,ih1in work that afforded no Opportunity whatever to be bribed. Reading was put off. Smarting from the Hume Descartes mail. I realized it was Lime to gel serious. I would Start with Wittgenstein Don l ask Why. Probably because of an impulse on which Zeno. Anaxagoras or Schopenhauer had written a famous treatise. Perhaps Woody Allen had mentioned Wittgenstein in a movie i am deeply influenced by Woody Ahen. Maybe it As because sounded like a foot Ball player who might h9v played on the great Fordham team of the late 1930s, i have always sup cycled thai philosophy written by an old football player would t be As Dull As say Spinoza s probably is. In any Case 1 went to the nearest Book supermarket and asked which shelf Wittgenstein was on. They said what s the Mailer was t inc times Best seller list at generous discount Good enough and if i was one of those antediluvian who went looking for bookstores Why did t i go to London it took the zest for Wittgenstein right out of me. Be honest t said to myself. You Don t even know for sure As proo. 1 would read Hume then write All those professors Learned letter full of hum isms. J went to the neigh boyhood Bookstore which though Small is operated by a woman who has heard of books. Hume 1 Don t have Al in Slock 1 registered contempt. Surely the world was approach ing a bad pass when bookshops failed to Stock Hume. 1 was i declared desperate to marinate myself in his Mes Sage Why not read Bertrand Russell s summary of it in his history of Western philosophy " she suggested. Summary the excellent summary was 1i pages. I started Reading five weeks ago and have finished three a sleep keeps distracting me. I shall try again tonight after watching new Macdonald. Cab a fever among bureaucrats Byar Buchwald last month the Northeast was locked in by two Snow forms in a Row. It was so bad that in the Washington area alone there were 347,987 reported fever. This was a typical Case the Porter family was Sluck in their House for three Days As the wind blew Back and Forth producing three and four foot drifts of Snow. Or. Porter stationed himself in the living room where he maintained he could Monitor weather bulletins much we move in on him the newscaster has just announced Only those with essential jobs Are required to report to their government offices today mrs. Porter said thanks Ciyou re not one of Lycra or. Porter blew in Are you trying to say i Don i have an essential Job no. I did not say thai at All. 1 jus meant n s Good you Don t have to go in to Porter was now shaking. "1 have a Good mind to go in and show them whether i m essential or suppose they Send you Homer mrs. Porter Askco. You d like that. You would like me to be humiliated at , have some More Vanilla pudding. "1 Don t want any More Vanilla pudding. I be been eating pudding for two Days. Why do you keep giving me pudding All the time you told me to make it because it was the Only thing to keep us alive during the Snow emergency. I think i la shovel the you keep saying that and then you Don l get out of inc want to watch Phi Donahue. 1 never a to so Phil Donahue when 1 go to the office. After that Iii either shovel the Snow or go through my suits and Tell you which ones 1 want to throw you always say that there arc a lot of things to do when you re snowbound and it s not easy to decide which one should go priority. Veronica their 15-year-old daughter came Down stairs. Daddy daddy. Harriet says she s going to Lull Robert if he plays Bruce Springsteen on his tape machine one More or. Porter Smi cd. Well Don t interfere. Harriet is old enough to know Whit she is mrs. Porter said How can you give Pernt Basioa for your daughter to kill your son you have any better ideas of How to make him Stop playing Spring Suen 1 Don t like those you never looked at those drapes before i asked von a thousand times whether you used the drapes and you always went i thought that meant you liked would think with the Money i give you i could have a say in the kind of drapes we have in this do you want some pudding no t Don t want pudding. Did Harriet Lull Robert yet Veronica said not yet. 1 think it was a _ i m going to take a Snow shovel and break his tape mrs. Porter said doctors warn not to make Deci Sions while you Are snowbound in the i think i Iliff out All my photographs and catalogue them by subject matter and file them by Date in albums. Mrs. Porter said thai s interesting. Scientists have found that the most severe cases of Cabin fever develop when a snowbound person talks about put Ting All his photographs in 01 Angstl to Rel sops a ms6a it fat tpfeth/5 Box cause by Sheffez across1 Muzum nn4 i Lafis. 8-burrnlomil" 12 20 Pawn s 36 mlflrwm37 get Wii 19 Hoover for one 40 unprocessed 41 the Down zoom under 1 Brejt cover an. Toppers 23 2 levitate status 3 diplomacy 24 european capital 25 nerd28 pump foi1 one v. In Rock a flicks 28 Mideast Raric 28 Juke 32 i m in suit 33 sports Crittl Clit 35 health reflort3d front 39 Kitchen Gadget 42 burrowing Critter 43 a isme 44 Post Lime Oft ring 4s invite4 fiver 47 pub order 2-6 Hubert Speat of Unitt Forest and Jake 1r rest
