European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 25, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 columns the stars and stripes wednesday March 25.1987 today s crossword a san a Brandy Rooney look at though Southern methodist University is going to have to let the methodists play football for while the National collegiate athletic association has baited the University from intercollegiate Competition next year because some of the sum players were caught being paid to play this put season being caught Wai the sin there it ii just remotely possible thai some other College players in the nation lib received a Little something under the table. I talked to Tome people in Dallas after h  jays How terrible it is for sum but i m not nut it is. In any College that tries to play too. 10 football there always a warning on Between Theale Latte department and the acuity. The athletic department usually wins. The Aln Lexie department if sum a a big loser Otis Lime and some of the faculty must  Best teachers at a big Lime football College like Southern methodist resent the emphasis on tons Over education. They resent the Tad that the football players Dent Reaby go to College then no Mailer what their class attendance record show and they resent the fact that the football coach it paid five Tima what they  College with a top id team has a lop-10 academic reputation. The Best universities Don t even try to play big league football became they know it cant be done without letting Down either the a Adamk or ethical  Chancel ire that if a High school or College team wins More than hair Fri games Over a Long period something funny is going on. Either they re play ing smaller schools with fewer indents to draw Fromor they re recruiting football players. The Academe Community at the University of Miami must have been embarrassed to have the tar school rep resented by in football team this year. The team played the Ante Well but in to and newspaper interview the players did not appear to have been much Good a spelling Long words 1 doubt that Many of them could pass a nigh school freshman English or math  methodist University might have come wit of Hii scandal better off than it thinks. The Only things someone from some other part of the country knew about Southern methodist before this we that Kyle Rote and Don Meredith played football there. Until now Many of Tii never knew thai Southern methodist actually had a faculty. Now we know be cause we saw some very Good professors and adn Init orators from the Colleg being interviewed As a result of the Mcaa ban on their  Don t feel bad for the Southern methodist coaches and players. I feel Good for the teachers and students ctr four mum Gotoh who la Tell emperor he s naked by Art Buchwald Many Yean ago there was an emperor who love new clothes. While he looked Good in everything the cloth he preferred was  admired the emperor when he walked about the grand White Palace he lived in with his most gracious wife an Empress who if in can be believed possessed a wardrobe even More Beautiful than the emperor s. One Day three tailors came to the Palace and announced they were from the Haberdashery firm of Mcfarlane North and  wish to make you the most Beautiful suit thai any emperor has Ever worn one of the tailors  must be made of tenon the emperor said it s the Only fabric that suits me when i m silting on the throne do not worry the second tailor spoke. This is Teflon the likes of which no one has Ever seen. It i Woven of persian thread and Contra trimming. The Peculiar Quality of this cloth is that no matter where you of nothing can penetrate  i Ikic that. How much do you want for this suit Twenty four million dollars if you say the Money i Tor humanitarian reasons.""1 shall do in. Start at once the emperor cried we will make it covertly so no one in the land finds out you have ordered a fenian nude suit particularly while the persians arc holding your Loyal subjects As  a few weeks later the emperor sent his chief of staff to find out How his suit was coming along. The chief discovered the tailors working at an empty loom. He was perplexed As to where the suit was. When the tailors insisted hews shortsighted the chief said gruffly i Sec it but i Don t see it. If anyone asks i win say i May have seen it but never knew about it one of the tailors said Good Teflon affects peo ple that  after the chief reported Back that he liked what he saw other Loyal followers of the emperor visited the tailor shop to inspect the cloth. Each one saw nothing but they could never admit this in fear the emperor would consider them  the big Day arrived the Tuit was delivered by Mcfarian North and Poindexter. The emperor immediately Tore aft All his clothes and put it on. Beautiful magnificent gorgeous said every per son in the White Palace not one admitting there was nothing there the emperor who fell no cloth or weight did not want to look dumb in front of the staff so he said Aifiti Tike a  that is the Beauty of persian Teflon you cannot feel it when you Wear it said one of the tailors. Convinced the emperor walked into his Rose Gar Den to smell the Flowers. Of my god a scribe said. The emperor has no clothes sir do you realize you re completely naked the emperor replied you obviously can t recon Niz Eood Teflon when you see it can you Tell us what happened to your pants another scribe asked. No the emperor said i m saving that for the third  Jcj lot Angl to Tolmei . A bask tiser1sw across 41 Fronch 2 part or 20 Duck or1 Mcfelt Irene in t aed. 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