European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 6, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                America s appetite for one handed food by Irish Hall new York times at Henneberry a sates representative for a shipping company is walking on West 34th Street in Manhattan with a Pear in one hand and a briefcase in tha other ii is just past noon and this is the second course of her lunch. The first course a few blocks ago was an Apple. I always 1eol guilty taking five minutes off to go to  she said. So unless she sense of achievement in Otong  h a meal is it a chore Malhar than an event i Oan be dispatched quickly leaving time for errands exercise or just More sleep. Stephen Rosen of Berkeley calif., often uses his Lime in the morning to go running or to Iron a shirt. On his Way out the copt he " May smear some Peanut butter on it Rice cake 0 eat in the car. The Rice cake in t so Good because it oils apart All Over the  he said. The perfect breakfast food he Saki has not been invented but it would to a. Combination of liquid and sow that you could eat in the  i Rosen a health care worker in san francisco.". Frequently has lunch Al his desk. But thai require a special eel of skills. He explained the Telephone rings and i want to keep eating but i know people think it a rude. So i turn the mouthpiece away and try to ask a question that will give me time for live or six  Christine Scalzo a lawyer in Utica n.y., likes to sleep right to the very last minute she said. So she often grabs an egg Mcruffin and eats it in her car on the Way to work. She Loo used to Eal lunch Al her desk every Day because that was the custom Al her old Law firm in Syracuse but now that she has moved to Utica she goes out to lunch. Living in a Small town people take their time she said. Almost everyone Here takes an  Victoria Stancl also eats out while window shopping. On a recent cod spying Day she carried a folded piece of pizza in one hand with paper artfully arranged so the juice would t drip Down her Arm. There s a Knack o  she said. Efima Bombeck the world is so beset win problems. I am reluctant to locus on a new one but we re All compassionate adults so Here goes. Domestic animals Are bored. For tha mos part the majority of household pets Are unemployed have no. Appointments scheduled no parties to attend and no responsibilities once they get up sniff a tree eat Ihei breakfast and lick their underside it s downhill. Their lives Are basically the pits. They can be digging in a Flower bad a mile away and when Ihetu owner Calls them they Bieak four legs to get Back Only to hear "1 just wanted to know where you  they hang around under Tho Kitchen table for 15 or 20 years wailing or something to drop or press their noses against the door Lor hours until someone figures they want to go out. To gel a car ride they either have to have a Hysterectomy or Start scratching vigorously. Page is the stars and stripes they never know whom they re supposed to bark at and whom they re supposed to lick. We had a dog once whose Only function was to bite highs and sleep. Every Lime the Doorbell rang he would beat us to the door and get in position to nip the leg of anyone standing there. That accomplished he went Back to bed. But after a while even that was t any Lun anymore. People might sit around and say so what everyone s bored if it weren t for the act thai animals in the wild have found a solution to their problem. They Are getting High to relieve stress and boredom. Llamas in Peru and Koala bears in Australia Gat zonked eating coca leaves that contain cocaine. Grasshoppers that eat wild marijuana leaves jump abnormally High. Elephants seek fermented fee fruit and i have Only to look out my window and see Drunken Birds by the hundreds nipping at fermented wednesday May 6, 1987 honeysuckle. It s not a pretty sight. Studies have  tha Ani nals escape much the same Way some humans do when they have nothing to do i read where a psychologist at Urcla actually created a singles bar for research rals. Complete with a recreational Aroa imitating a Park and a lounge where the rats can drink water or an alcohol solution. Over a period of eight or nine months a Large percentage of the rals opted Lor the alcohol. They became very depressed. It was suggested that Domestic pets should try to till their lives with meaning and purpose. So All of you dogs and cats and Birds out there who Are dumping and trashing on this column i beg you to Knock Over a garbage can. Fetch a shoe Lake up Ballet Chase a Ball under he sofa ring a Bell stage a bark off gel a Job or join the service but do Somel Hingl Don t let the rats win. To Lei log