European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 14, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns valuable garbage rots on the High seas by John Windrow Magazine editor there s 3,000 tons of  Bobbing around the Ocean somewhere and i want in. New York does t want it. North Carolina does l want in. Ditto for Louisiana Alabama Mississippi Mexico Belize and the Bahamas. A garbage scow Eft Long Island March 22, heading for a Landfill in North Carolina. Bui North Carolina health officials turned it away and Ever since it s been wretched refuse from new York s u Chi in Shore garbage without a country. I would like to offer this advice to the scow Pilot no one else is going to want his garbage either so lie might As Well give it to me. The reasons for this Are mainly psychological. No country want to let the world think new York is Gelting away with dumping its garbage on them. Especially All those Lille Centra american countries like Belize. They d consider accepting new York s garbage As Yankee imperialism. What s this the people would say those gringos Are using us or a trash dump garbage is Don i need no stinking garbage who s responsible for this outrage suppose the situation were reversed. Whal if Belize dumped All its banana peels on new York s sidewalks. New to alters a surly lot at Best would get very irate if they noticed. So he minister of health in Belize Calls out the Navy to repel the Barge and the trash Heads wearily out id sea once More. J us looking for a Home. There s a similar explanation for ail those Dixie states turning up heir noses at new York garbage. I came of age Down there. There in t a Heck of a lot to do at night besides drink Moonshine in the Woods ind Hunt raccoons. Thai s Fine for the men but the ladies and children Are left at Home with nothing to do. So your mama sits Down in front of the fire and Ells you How the dirty Yankees stole your creat Creal creat Uncle Chesney s ducks when they came through the Yard chasing the Confederate army Back into Mississippi in 1b62. This makes All the Little kids and and they never forget it. Soil s Small wonder that the officials in Louisiana Mississippi Alabama and North Carolina got All fired up when this new York garbage came sailing Down on them. Like hell they say Lake your now York Yankee trash Back where it came from and keep your thieving hands off the ducks on your Way  but i la Lake the 3,000 tons of garbage absolutely free. All they have to do is deliver it to my Mother s farm in West Tennessee. Well do ii in the dead of night so the locals Don t catch on. 1 happen to like garbage some of my fondest memories from childhood Center around garbage. When 1 was 7,1 had a flock of chickens. Maybe 20 of hem. T knew so much about my chickens i named them All. Not Many people can left one Chicken from the next when ihey1 re All the same color but i could. My first flock did t do too Well. 1 bought Day old Chicks through the mail. The mailman delivered Rhein and everything was swell until they started  ing up. Some shyster had sent me t 9 roosters and one wildly popular Hen. We ate a lot of Chicken that summer but my Hen Laid eggs that were fertilized needless to say and before Long i raised my flock. I fed them garbage. Right out the Back door of the Kitchen lettuce scraps bits of Bacon and Toast Bulle bean hulls Corn cobs potato chips Apple cores Fatback they ale in All. Please Don t eat everything i d beg the family at dinner remember the chickens. Save pm a few Blac Keyeck peas and go Light on the  More than once my Mother caught me carrying food directly from the refrigerator to the Henhouse. Where Are you going with those hoi dogs they look like they re about to go Wirf sure would Hole for anybody to gel  put them Back and stay out of the  later in Fife i lost interest in chickens and slanted roaming the Countryside at night in Pursuit of i did t know what. You jus do hat when you re is slay out at night with a pack of buddies so people won t accuse you of Silling Al Home. There was nothing to do so we d head for the local dump and shoo rats with .22 files. Whal fun those Halcyon Days of my Young manhood when i romped merrily through rotting piles of burning stinking garbage shooting at lace infested vicious  braver among us wore Tennis shoes. I opted for knee length boots i was such a poor shot i look a Shotgun one night and was really blasting the Tittle beggars to Smithereens until the sops drove out and told us to Knock it off. Nowadays i help one of my pals tend hit Garden we keep a compost pole and worm bed in is Back Yard. What do we feed the Worms garbage the Worms turn it into compos and we spread it on the Garden. I be been trying to Lalk him into raising some chickens but his wife thinks they. Will smell. There s a certain Beautiful symmetry about garbage. It reminds us that nature runs in circles breaking everything Down and Lien building it Back up again. Garbage has played a major part in my life and i itch for Bese 3,000 ions. If i can get it i la open an amusement Park on my Mother s farm i la cat it six flags Over Tennessee or something silly like that. People can come shoot Ralser feed the chickens lots of folks have never seen a Chicken outside a plastic bag or pay Money to Iee How to raise Worms. Maybe Well pass Oul free fishing Worms. I can t figure out Why new York gave the garbage up in the first place. They could have used it to fill heir potholes. Pigging out at Buffet table offends gentle Reader by miss manners in led future Syndicate dear lbs manners it is my understanding thai the main reason or Terv Fng Wali Buffet style ii to serve Large groups of people More efficiently. Also you can Tene More run one entree and a bigger variety of foods than you might at a til Down dinner. I have alway thought that the guest wat supposed to put together a proper meal on his plate and not necessarily Lake portion of everything on the table. You Are not necessarily expected to Lake All the entrees although this i not completely out of line if Small portion Are Faken. But i have of waved people making pigs of themselves piling heir plates High with enough to feed several people Many times they Don t even eat it All and it s wasted. This i also True of the salad Tablet that Many restaurants have. People come away with food piled High thinking they have to have Tome of everything on the table instead of putting together a reasonably proportioned salad in keeping with the rest of the meal. Also Many people Don t seem to know the difference Between Buffet style serving and a smorgasbord. At a True smorgasbord i believe ii is Peroni Luble to approach the Uble three Timet first for the flt hcs cheeses and hours d oeuvres second for the cooked food and lastly for the desserts. Here again in is not absolutely necessary that you take everything on the table. Gentle Reader of boy for food let s Stock up while we can. Miss manners has also observed this approach to he open Able As restaurant patrons gleefully calculate getting one More lettuce Leaf or Bacon bit onto a toppling Structure without having to pay extra for in. What the rationale is for Buffet dinners Al the Homes of friends she prefers not to think. It is As you Point out quite unseemly. A truly starving but polite person would Lake a modest amount eat it Drift casually Back to the Buffet table to take another modest amount and repeat the process until full dear miss manners As the prom season approaches t find myself drowning in a sea of etiquette questions what exactly is Lea length from what i understand in is longer than knee length and Shorter than floor length. I would like to Wear gloves with my strapless dress. What is the Correct length when should they be removed what do i do with them and it it acceptable to Wear rings and or bracelets recently a bridal Salon brought it prom collodion to my school. I noticed several styles of garters. Can 1 assume that garters Are an optional accessory the collection also included Hati. I was under the impression that Hati were made to be worn during the Day. My final question pertains to shawls. The style the Salon carried was pre tied. T hav also seen shawls that were very Long wide lightweight Carvet Foo Good Way to Wear them sprang to mind. Gentle Reader Carter what sort of prom activity do they imagine would indicate whether the ladies were wearing garters what miss manners imagines is that in looking for other commercial outlets for their bridal finery this establishment would just As soon pass off inappropriate artefacts on innocent students. The ancient and risque custom of the bridal Garnet has nothing whatever to do with evening clothes such As Are worn to a prom. Hals May be worn with Long dresses by brides and bridesmaids at daytime weddings but As they Are not worn Al night As you know they also Are unrelated to prom clothes. A pre tied shawl seems rather strange too As one would have to put one s head through it. The advantage of any sort of shawl Scarf or other wrap is in addition to the fact that it is an easy Way for ladies who do not have evening coals to avoid having to Wear their school raincoats Over their evening dresses that in covers the shoulders without Messing the dress. Tea length is indeed thai wide mid calf length associated with Lea dancing while evening clothes Are Radil tonally floor length. Miss manners is aware that Here is such a thing now As the hip length strapless dance dress but prefers not id think Abou in. In any Case you want below like Elbow gloves unless he prom is White in and you Are wearing a full Ball dress not Only very Low Cut but also Long which goes with Over the Elbow gloves. Please Promise miss manners that you will not Wear any jewelry Over the gloves and that you will remove the gloves before eating or drinking. Irn prs Magazine May 14,1987