European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 2, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Wednesday september 2,1987 the stars and stripes Page 11 Arm Landers dear Ann Landers my 6-year-old was having a birthday party. Of course he was terribly excited. Since i had limited him to nine guests he had difficult time deciding whom to Wai very much involved with the Pany Plant and print Edall the names on the envelope Hin self. One person is Mfd yes and one a sep d no. The Othen did t respond. Since we did know How Many to expect we bought bad Loon hats favor and prize for eight. 1ordered a big birthday cake and lot of ice Cream. Would you believe that not one Penon showed up what can a Mother say to child who has talked of nothing Elie and waited with eager anticipation for Wec Kitty heart just broke when be asked mom do Yon think everybody forgot that children can barely read so i blame the Par Gnu. Please urge them to be More considerate when reply n expected a child happiness is at stake. Litsa leftovers in Tulsa Dearlove i agree it was rude and Shoog Holest. Of the Panunti Nott a sep Tat it fact of use that some people a in Ouidette or rat Plain Lazy and to assume Fiat Thech Udrea would show up my Overly optimistic. Not time you have a party phone those no fall respond and us whether they plan to come. It should t be necessary to do this but it i the Only Way Yon Wilt know for certain. Dear Ann Landers i have a problem i am unable to discuss with any one and it a making me a Recluse. My doctor says he can t help me and that i should live with it i m referring to bladder control. Some Days i am pretty Good but i never know when i will leave a ring on an upholstered chair or worse laugh at a joke when 1m in a group and feel Mois Ture trickling Down my Teg. Is there an organization that can give me some help feel alone in Hannibal to. Dear to write to hip help far incontinent people and ask for to Btl literature Send a self addressed stamped in a loft 22 cents to hip . Box 544, Union . 29379. This organization was formed in 1983 la Hel the estimated 11 million americans and canadians who Hare the problem. I can vouch for the fret that hip i reputable and up on the latest dear Ann Landers when i first moved to this town i was befriended by a wonderful couple who lived next door. We be came very close and i considered them family. Last year John began an affair with a neighbor Hood acquaintance. It s still going on hot and heavy. He and his lady love told me of their Romance because they wanted to share their happiness with me i suspect they really want me to cover for them in Case his wife gels wind of it. 1 resent the fact that they have let me in on their dirty Little secret. Since the revelation i cannot Bear to be around John and his wife. I feel As if i m part of conspiracy. Yet after being close to them for 10 Cara i can t Cut them dead. Also Ann the wife is a terrific person and i love her dearly. Please advise. Unwilling accomplice in Colo. Dear . In Colo get off the guilt trip. Cutting you in on the dirty Little secret does not make you an your relationship with John s wife but Dis Tance yourself from him. Of course you will offer no hospitality whatever to John and miss whaler face. Compassion for the complaining wife this is a letter to army wives on both sides of the Fence. Many letters were sent to the complain ing wife who thought the army should make changes. Obviously the lady is hurling and i was surprised at the answers others gave to her problem. U is so True that a Good attitude can be a major help in the army life but for Many of us neither Altitude nor those wonderful army services provided. Till the empty space our husband leaves when he is gone. The army has tried to fill Many voids for us we should make ourselves familiar with services provided and make use of them. Many Are extremely helpful. So often though the system does not work and sometimes army personnel Are very unpleasant people to work with. A thank you to those who do try to help. Again a pleasant and Good Altitude is essential. The Bottom line for me is it is Wise to help my Elfall 1 can but there is still a lot of pain involved in being separated. I have talked to Many wives Over the lost four years and have found a variety of ways of coping with a husband s absence. I have spent most of that Lime ashamed of myself for being miserable when i am without my husband but have recently accepted my feelings and myself. I May not Ever be like some of you who Cope so admirably but i do not believe that is a fault. I have had wives Tell me bar hopping is the answer or pouring out your troubles at a wives meet ing or afternoon martinis in a Bubble Bat arc ways to Cope. These methods Are unacceptable to me. Yes i do keep Busy in the Home Chapel Community and in activities involving my three children. Yes it does help. What kind of army wife am 1? one who loves and supports her husband keeps Active and involved and would follow my husband to Timbuktu if Nec Essary. 1 am also an army wife who can Only Man age emotionally one Day at a Lime when my Hus band ii gone. It May sound crazy bul 1 married him because 1 like him and love him and want to spend / me with him. Before you condemn the complaining wives realize they May never feel As you do and often Are just As supportive As you. Don t pretend thai army services always work As planned and for heavens Sake have some compassion. And for those who refuse to see anything positive about the army Don t Cut your nose off to spite your face. Think of the food on your table if nothing else. Reach Oul to a compassionate Friend. Talk with your husband and ask him to help you come up with ideas on How to Cope. Maybe counselling with a chaplain could help. Above All know you Aren t alone others fee like you do. Some of us May change or learn la Cope belter. Some of us May not and some of us May decide that the army life just in t for us. Whatever the Case there is always room for change and improvement on both sides. As Long As the army continues to recruit family men this Issue will need to be continually addressed. Name and location withheld writer wants traffic fines in eur i would like la know Why the eur motor vehicle division cannot scrap the traffic violation Point system for one similar to most slates which line violators. I am sure if it hits people when it buns most their pockets they will think twice about violating traffic Laws. It would also be a Good method to raise funds for morale support activities. 1 would like some feedback on this proposal As 1 think it is one that has Merit. Name withheld Augsburg Germany editor s note it col. Garry human chief of policy my operations division eur Provost marshal office replies the concept of assessing traffic fines for non mov ing and moving violations committed on is. Govern ment controlled property in eur has Bee raised through numerous channels including the Model installation program Miland is a Good idea. Unfortunately there is no Legal authority to Levy fines overseas. In the Continental United states state motor vehicle and traffic Laws arc enforced on is. Military installations by applying the Federal assimilative crimes act title 18 us 3401. Fines collected under ibis Law Are required to be deposited in the is. Treasury title 31 us 484bat these Laws May not be applied Oul Ilde of be Continental United states. Otoku Only Hail nations have the authority to Ane fines far traffic violations. There is no in Teion in the status of forces agreement to assimilate Host nation raffle fines or a Legal Way to retain the fond for morale support Active Latiea. This suggestion ban been evaluated carefully on numerous occasions my Bas been sent to depart ment of the army for evaluation. He a Hai con firmed the Lack of Legal authority to implement such a program. To Date we have nol been Able in Over come these problems. We Are continuing la explore ways to implement such a program As we agree with the writer that it has Merit. Pen pals i would to a to Hava pan Pill All Ovar tha Weikl i am 24 Nanom Andt Iho Lisle inn la Muath. Florida Ernado a pc Oum Hun Bihm Ngin. Negro Drin full i would Ike to Corrai Pond Wutti pwn in other you Wiat. I a 23 Yuit old. I like 10 Raad. It Gogh Lun Togi Assfy Dull act hot Lui Yuri Lungari. Nogoa Onellar Porti Phai i Yttri to Corro Pond Wutti a Phi in Onia to latin or built. I am i car Elm Economu 1 1m 27 Jmel of. My Norbu in Quail. Pan pan. I am roman cathode. By Hob ctn a Raming and Kaur Tang u Murita. Edo Tina am lol 7. By Csc i Emp plug. Dario City b50i put wet i am 2 11 emf few roman Coho Fly 1 would to pin Nafe. 1 la two thug and a ironing Llou Podador lol 7. 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