European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 25, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Oaten Holh Heaters have cheered dote on when the met to kill Douglas Tor having jilted her. A woman s his Bottom line when you re in the negotiation period of a relationships oriented toward winning making his Point. She is oriented toward sharing. Let s say he s late Lor something and she e angry about it. He wants to talk to her about setting up a Rule so that he can be late and it would be of. She wants to talk about what it feels like to have someone be late. In Good relationships essentially women train men in sharing and it would be a Good role but she resents it. She says Why does it always have to be me it s another example of anger getting in the the anger that is fueling today s relationship wars is most often coming from women according to several experts interviewed. The atmosphere is hostile on the part of women much More so than on the part of men says Sills. The expectations on women have increased dramatically in the last 15 years while holding jobs they must still be nurturing attractive emotional caretakers with nothing dropping Cut. It is Loo much and she is angry and a lot of that anger spills out on men. I think it is instead of taking it out on men Sills suggests women need to simply dump some of the overload. As the Battle rages Many men have begun to cry foul in the lace of female pressure to become More sensitive Only to be attacked As wimps when the give it a try or Richard Eisler who teaches a course on the psychology of men at Virginia tech in Blacksburg va., says men Are being asked to play two different roles by women. Part of it is be the Lough Guy. Then be soft and Sweet and open. I think men Aro shutting a lot of it out. One of the major issues for men is not to be feminine in any Way and All this emotion and openness lends Lobo Lomino. The male socialization is very Rigi i Thinh the main problem with men is they think women Are asking them to be More female which is definite Eisler arid others agree it would Benefit Iho health of both men and their relationships with women if they could learn to share their feelings but. Ados William Doherty an associate professor in the department of family social science at the University of Minnesota Iho mistake women make is expecting a female Brand of sensitivity irom men. In terms of our cultural images the powerful Strong Side of men. Of masculinity has been viewed As an unmitigated evil. That whole uniqueness of manhood gets questioned gets devalued and depreciated the Challenge comes to value and affirm the special qualities of masculinity while appreciating the abuses that occur when these qualities Are not complimented by what you might Call Iho More feminine Side of the personality if we collapse on the Side of the Macho Man that s being critiqued what do we have do we have women i think women understand men Well but More women Are rejecting what they see. They re not accepting Iho positive Side of what i would Call male Power. Men Are says Donerly Theta Are some who want to and others who Are being dragged kicking and screaming. Women Are going to have to continue to teach us what they re experiencing and Leach us about women perspective. Similarly i think men need to Leach women about what it s like to be a Man says Doherty. Women Are much More introspective about being women men have nol been so introspective and so therefore we re less articulate and we Don t teach it As Well. We still have a Long Way to go says Doorly Tho group men Hal has More cultural Power has less incentive to do a lot of introspection about then place in the world. Women were driven by the desire for equal rights men have no similar driving Force one of the dangers now with the Lemin isl movement is that we re going to get to a place where we re saying women Are Superior somehow but it s not going to do Here Hite television program. Hile said the president of the american sociological association had said Hal my methodology is but Herbert cans the president of the association and a professor at Columbia University said thai s a cans said he had never even seen the Book until the Day Hite appeared on the television show and afterwards sent him a copy by messenger. It was really bizarre he commented in a recent episode Hile was accused of punching and choking the Driver of a limousine who was waiting at her filth Avenue apartment to take her to the taping of the Sally Jessie Raphael television show in new Haven. According to a producer of the television show Hite assaulted the Driver Frank Nicoletti after he told her Hal because he had had to Wail for an hour it was too late to get her to new Haven Lor the taping. In the Book Hite describes How she sent out 100.000. Questionnaires through the women s groups and received 4,500 responses Hite has repeatedly said the 4.5 percent rate of return in her Survey was an excellent response and provided the basis for a Good Sample of american women s views this is almost twice As High As the Standard rate of return Lor this kind of questionnaire she wrote in an explanatory note in the Book but Donald r. Kinder a professor of political science and psychology at the University of Michigan v and a specialist in Public opinion surveys said the 45 recent response rate was appalling " j " i be never heard of anything that Low in serious social science research he said a. The women to whom she sent the questionnaires. The l25,1987 professor asserted were not a scientifically chosen random Sample that mirrored the population As a whole but instead were simply a miscellaneous list of women s groups whose members could be expected to have somewhat different views than other american women. You d be incredibly naive to assume there was t some selectivity Kinder said the biggest flaw he said was. Why is it Hal so Many people did not respond she has no Way of knowing what Hal 95 percent of the population really ii is a controversial topic the kind of thing Many people Don t like to talk about so those 5 percent who did respond Are not Likely to be representative he said. Hite s earlier books the Hite report published in 1976, and the Hile report on male sexuality published in 1981, also raised questions about her methods. In a column Robert Asahina. Then an editor at the new York times Book review described the Hile report on male sexuality As social science Sonny Mehla the president of Alfred a Knoll the publisher of women and love said the Hite Book was Well along in the production Cycle when he joined the company earlier this year but we Lake a responsible approach with every Book he said we Send manuscripts to lawyers and to specialists if we think they need that and we use common Corona Machemer the editor of women and love. Acknowledged that Hile s methodology has been questioned since her Lisl Book thai s Why she went to such pains in this Book to explain it she said. There have been people of considerable Eminence on both sides of the argument " in deciding to publish women and love. Machemer said. Knoll relied on the author s regulation. Her explanation of her methodology and the Interior logical More than that Machemer added the manuscript was read and approved by reputable sociological researchers including John l. Sullivan a professor of political science at the University of Minnesota and Gladys Engel Lang a professor of political science and sociology at the University of Washington who wrote the preface Lor the Book. But Barbara Farah. The director of surveys for the new York times said women and love was flawed by Hite s decision to Send out her questionnaires through women s groups. The purpose of random sampling she said is to obtain a Sample that accurately reflects the population As a whole in its attitudes but the women who were sent questionnaires were women who already have a raised consciousness so it does t matter How Many questionnaires she sent out or How Many response she got " Kite s findings reminded Farah of one of the most famous polling liase Oes a highly publicized Survey done in 1936 by the Magazine literary digest that predicted on the basis of 10 million mock ballots in mailed Oul Hal Alfred m Landon would Mcfeal president Franklin d. Roosevelt in a landslide the Magazine received 23 million responses Bui the people selected to receive the ballots were chosen from lists of americans with automobiles and telephones who in those Days were More Likely to be found among affluent republicans than democrats Landon carried Only two states Maine and Vermont the stars and stripes Page 15
