European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 14, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 10 the stars and stripes monday december 14,1987 columns Andrew j. Glass mood music in the Amphitheater of arms control although president Reagan declared to his nationally televised speech thursday night that his Summit with Mikhail Gorbachev was a Clear Suc Cess the cold print in the joint statement issued by the Summit tears is far from saturated with Concrete accomplishments. From its inception the Washington Summit was scripted to run above a Broad Public relations safely net. It did not fail. Both Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan whom Gorbachev now Calls his partner needed a tac Lieal Success Here to show that they were still in firm control of their respective storefronts. Nevertheless neither Leader was willing to make the kind of hard compromises on nuclear and conventional weaponry on Afghanistan or on human rights thai could have led of a genuine strategic breakthrough. During his Marathon Post Summit press conference the soviet Leader assured listeners that within the soviet leadership. There is but one opinion and a firm decision has been taken. We arc in favor of a decisive improvement in relations with the United states of what Gorbachev didst say is thai soviet policy has Long demanded the maintenance of two Iron curtains one against Modem Western ideas and Cul Ture and the Oiher against Western Market forces. Until the soviet leadership manifests a Resolute willingness to tear Down these Walls the soviet Union will remain isolated the object of International mis rim for his part Reagan As he moves into the Twilight of his presidency would Ike to be remembered As a Leader who took a first step but still a critical one towards building a More durable yet administration insiders acknowledge thai the newly signed highly acclaimed superpower treaty ban Ning intermediate Range nuclear forces inf is merely a bit of mood music in the Amphitheater of arms control i does not change the balance of forces in Europe or Asia. Nor does it address the sources of tension Between East and West. Moreover Reagan and Gorbachev managed to finesse the question of strategic defences entirety by agreeing to disagree. While that solved an immediate problem for the Summit ers it did nothing to Advance the prospects of an Accord on strategic arms an Accord which in one form or another must in time be linked to strategic defences. In the immediate warm afterglow of the Summit it s James j. Kilpatrick Carat sofar ail too easy to forget How prior arms agreements have usually led to even bigger defense budgets based on even More sophisticated weapons. While each Summ Leer has Strong incentives to Cut military spending neither the inf Accord nor the still incomplete treaty on strategic arms will save either government Money if and when any actual weapons Are destroyed. The billions of dollars and rubles once needed to construct these weapons already have been spent and never can be recovered. In fact the inf agreement will Cost both sides considerable outlays in order their missiles in an Environ mentally Safe manner. What the Washington Summit has done is to shift the focus of the nuclear arms race from the size and number of weapons in each Arsenal to a Competition for technologically Superior systems especially at sea and. For defensive purposes in space. Under any strategic Accord a High percentage of the missiles slated for elimination on both sides would be approaching the end of their reliable lifespan anyway. They arc already prime candidates for decommission ing. Even if a new strategic agreement is signed it still would leave the superpowers striving to build even More accurate missiles to make up for lost megaton nag in destructive Power. Nor would the inf treaty or any strategic accor affect the 33,000 nuclear warheads remaining in other weapons categories weapons hat present a Challenge beyond All the current negotiations. It does appear however that the trillion Dollar military buildup that look place during the Reagan years snows signs of slowing Down. In his Post Summit remarks the president revealed anew that he would have no difficulty in claiming credit for bringing things Back toward the Point where he found them Back in 1981. L con a they la probably name a Mountain for to Udall Are you running for office making a speech could you use a Tew laughs then get o your bookseller and ask for Morris r. Udall s too funny to be it is the happiest Book of the Christmas season. To Udall no one Ever Calls him Morris is pretty Well known across the country As a member of he House from Arizona. He came to the lower chamber in May 196, a tall jangly fellow who briefly played professional basketball with the Denver nuggets. At 65, he no ranks 20th in seniority lie s also remembered As the engaging candidate who ran in 22 of the 27 democratic primaries of 1976. He did t win a one of them but he finished in second place in six and he rolled up 1,6 million votes. Trouble was Jimmy Carter won 17 of the primaries and rolled up 6 million votes. But no question about it to had the most fun. Now he s put together a Book of his favorite stories. He looks Back on politicians he has known and he looks upon most of them gently with his Good Eye forgiving their political sins. Udall s theme is that humor is a vital lubricant for the successful working of political machinery. A talc pm laughing. Make your Point with 3 joke. The Best political humor he writes however Sharp or pointed has a Little love behind he is a nun unashamed 10 give love and he receives it abundant in return. This a Nim of More evident than in the 76 Campaign. To r Iner had much of a Chance. Carter benefited from Early organi Avion and a superlative staff. George Wallace was unbeatable in Florida and North Carolina. Edmund Brown was califor Nia s favorite son. Henry scoop Jackson was a Force in Pennsylvania about All to Udall had going for him was his record As a True Blue demo crat that and his sense of humor. Those of us who covered that Campaign came to cherish a great affection for the Guy. Hel new How to Field a ques Tion without fumbling. What separates you from Jimmy Carter he was asked. About seven Hundred delegates to replied. Many of the jokes quotes and one liners in his Book might be classified As old stuff but so what the truth is he writes there is very Little new political from time immemorial the people have joked about Congress. Good lines speedily get appropriated. Udall attributes to the late Everett Dirksen this splendid boast i am a Man of principle. And my first principle is he attributes to Yogi Berra a line thai i thought belonged to Niels Bohr prediction is a very difficult pause. Especially when it involves the future " several of his finest yarns involve Henry Fountain Ashurst who served As a senator from Anzona from 1912 to 1940. The old boy was quite an orator. He Learned to speak by reciting Shakespeare As he walked up a Bill. It gave him wind Power. I could throw 56 Pound words across the grand Canyon he said. The senator never worried about changing his mind. The Clammy hand of he said has never rested for Long on my Ashurst had a gift for metaphor when a Public official accepts a gift he dissolves the Pearl of Independence in the vinegar of Udall is an inveterate collector of malaprops and euphemisms. He quotes a Southern politician who Felt thai his opponent deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass and frankly i d like to be the one to do rep. Silvio Conte provided a splendidly med metaphor this is no time to pull the Rug out in the Middle of the in the bureaucracy the crash of an Airliner became premature Impact of the aircraft with the terrain an explosion of a nuclear reactor could be defined As a rapid energetic discs just about any subject will tend itself to a joke to believes provided the tale spinner stays away front jokes that depend upon race or sexism. He never has hesitated to joke about his Glass Eye the consequence of a boyhood injury. He suffers from Parkinson s Dis ease which god knows is no joke but when a Blond Bombshell of a lobbyist named Paula Parkinson came along he managed to find a touch of humor during the Long fight Over the alaskan wilderness Bill Udall was bitterly denounced for his supportive leadership. He was philosophical. His experience with National Parks he said had persuaded him that at first people hate you. But in 30 years they la probably name a Mountain Tor one of these Days someone Wil indeed name a Mountain for to. Hell be touched but hell be laughing
