European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 14, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Monday december 14. 1987 the stars and stripes Page 11 a Rilanders dear Ann Landers May 1 Lay a word to or. . Of Indianapolis who objected to a waitress touching him recently a study was done involving touching. People who meet the Public such As Bank tellers supermarket checkout clerks etc., were divided into two group one group conducted business in the usual impersonal manner. The other group made it a Point o shake hands or pal a f Cuil Oiiver s . Nothing aggie Jive just simple human Contact. Later the customers were surveyed about the service they had received. Those who had been touched used words like warm human Friendly and  in this world of robots where a computer Telli me my Bank balance a recording answer my phone can and a microchip in my car tells me when my Oil level is Low it s kind of Nice to hear about a waitress probably Over worked and underpaid who look time out of her hectic Day to be human. Too bad she waned it on a Jerk. Lp., Ann Arbor Mich. Dear up i it thed great Deal of comment on let letter. While  opt Tor the Friendly human approach Nuur women win furious with me beams 1 did t clobber the Uttmi for patting her Hind on the Man s belly and myting of com then is room for dessert in  seven respondents pointed out that had i waiter put us hand on a female customer s stomach he would have been canned on the ipod while i agree that a warm human approach is almost Al i Welcome Good taste and judgment Are of the almost importance. People who Nave those two qualities know where that due line is. Dear Ann Landers i m writing about the woman with a 21-Ytar-Oid son who is not her husband s. She wondered if she should Tell the Young Man who his real father is. He happened to be a family Friend your advice not to Tell him was infinitely Wise. I speak from experience. Recently my husband received a letter from a 30 year old woman alleging that he is her father some thing her Mother old her but failed to Tell my husband 30 years ago. The Shock and pain have been overwhelming. No one has a right to intrude and smash the lives of others in this Way. Rolike to warn any Young person who May be told Ofa real Parent against forcing a confrontation. The heartache we must now live Wilh is beyond description. Thanks for listening Ann Landers. Like the writer referred to above i too am unable to talk to anyone about this. Anonymous of course Kansas dear Anonymous think Yon for unloading on me. That s what i m Hen for. Your letter made the Point fir better than 1 could. Pm glad Yon wrote. Dear Ann Landers 1 am 28 years old the Mother of two children. My husband told me he is in love with another woman and moved out five weeks ago. He says he wants a divorce and 1 agreed to let h in go. Every time he comes to see the kids we end up in the bedroom. He has t told his family or anyone at work about his plans. Also most of his clothes Are still Here. The kids adore him and so do i. What should i do undecided in Montana Dev Montana Tell you husband you re changed your mind and Lott on joint compel be. It sounds to me a if your Arriage a be Tal niger. Good lock Aad keep me pos Ted. I d lore to hear that Yon Are working things oot writers defend child care providers this is in response to he writer who complained about acc providers being in it just for the Money. 1 did t renew my certification not because i could t handle the child care but because i could t handle the parents and their unrealistic expectations. Acc providers work an average of 13 hours a Day. Our fees Range from $40 to $59 per week for the first child and$301o j40 for each additional child. Providers Are allowed six full time slots. Assuming a provider has no children of her own has filled each Slot Wilh a first child and is charging $50 per week she s making j4.62 per hour. From that vast income she must pay income lax buy toys and educational materials and supplies such As Nap Kins toilet paper crayons colouring boots diapers wipes Bolcs and formula for the forgetful Paroni. Some  viders buy specialized fun Milure such As cribs playpens and child size tables and chairs. Most of us found it Wise to have on hand a Supply of clean clothes including underwear socks and coals. Pre certification investments ran from $300 to Over $ 1,000.fcc providers arc required to have developmental programs to include ans and crafts storytelling abcs,1-1-3, Gross and Fine motor activities and moral instruction. They must serve a varied menu of nutritionally balanced meals and must keep their children and House reasonably clean at All times. Unannounced inspections and strict record keeping ensure that these requirements arc met. Those providers who Don t maintain standards Are soon taken out of the program. Providers arc expected to be available for 4 . Alerts late hours co and guard duty weekends and Field prob lems All at Little notice and no extra charge. Some parents expect a provider to wait until next pay Day please and rarely reimburse her when they forget o pack Johnny s socks before a two Wick Long Field problem. I have a few questions for the letter writer did you have a contract Wilh the provider who turned you away or did you simply assume she would be available because you called to inquire when you left for the Field did your contract state he provider was to do your laundry did you provide washing powder and Blachor offer to pay for this extra service did you give your provider a medical Power of at Torney so she could provide medical treatment for your sick children and last but not least if you Are that concerned about your children s care Why Aren t you Home with them yourself could it be you re working dare 1 say it for the Money a Huntune Thesin Ascham Lunbum Germanas a former acc provider and child care giver 1 feet i need o respond to the recent idler. In response to the complaint about the dirty clothes and baby bottles the Parent should have immediately contacted the area acc director with the complaint i would have been investigated and corrective actions would have been taken to prevent it from happening again. I would like to let the writer know thai not All  viders Are just in the business for the Money. Ask around in your Community. Good providers Are Well known As Well As the less caring ones. Name withheld Anfe Woehr Germany i am an acc provider who does t just do it for the Money. I do it mostly for personal satisfaction. It nukes me fed Good when my kids say they like me or hug me. You were Lucky to have a provider that look your children while you were in the Field. And of course an children that Are being cared for outside their own Home will be sick Between six and 12 times a year. There Are Many acc providers out there who give Loving care. But also realize Only the parents can give the care that they want for their children. One Dollar an hour gives you child care but it does t include laundry. The cleaners won t do it for free either Andrea c. Bow her bad Henfield Germany i empathize with your situation. As a Mother of three i know Good child care is hard to find. When i decided to become an acc provider i fought this idea of being certified All the Way. I had myself set against the whole program i mean who does inc government think it is telling me what or whatnot How or How not and who or who not i can do or have in my Home but this is government quarters hat i a renting and any owner can have rules and guidelines for the tenants to abide by. After going through All the classes to included car first Aid fire safety Home safely and every other kind of safety imaginable i understood Why the government must have some control. In fact providers mentioned in the letter Are the reason. As a provide i fee i m the Best replacement my acc kids could have next to their parents. I love All my kids and they arc my full Lime Job. I Deal Wil Runny noses illness dirty diapers bumps and bruises Polly training teething and lighting. I m a Cook an Art instructor a Story Reader a teacher a mediator a Lis Tener and whatever else the moment demands. My prices May seem High but i m sharing my life willingly with these families to ensure their children Are cared for in a Loving responsible manner. I love my kids but i would not do it for free and neither would you. In fact i feet i have the hardest and most important Job in the world. I Don t just baby sit i give Quality child care and am proud of it. Lynn Bollhoefer Munchweiler Germany i agree with the complaint. I understand that being acc certified is the Law but who is to say that the Law is the Best thing for the child or children involved 1 have had Simitar problems with acc providers. I have also gone to the class and i did not learn any thing that i did not already know especially after Rait ing three children of my own. 1 am currently employed and seeking help in finding a reliable Sitter acc or not. All of the acc provider have a limit and now in the Heilbronn area All arc filled up. So where does that leave these working mothers. We Are always Given excuses but never Given help or resolutions. Name withheld Heilbronn Germany do not think my Point is one sided. I have been on both sides of the Coin. First As a Parent who worked outside my Home and now As a provider. If we wanted to make lots of Money we would be working elsewhere. I do not know what this writer pays for her children but f am sure it is a Tot less than what she would pay in the United slates on the civilian Side. Many parents Wilt Call and As soon As they hear i charge More than 50 cents or one Dollar an hour they hang up. They do not Lake the time to see what hey Are Selling for the Money. Yes there Are some providers who just let the children run around or sit them in front of the idiot Box to. I too would be upset. But Here arc those ofus who work with our kids take them on outings and take a great Deal of Pride in our jobs. Remember you pay for Quality in everything. The reason you spent the Day looking for a provider ii because of the High turnover in providers either from pcs moves of from Job burnout. The main purpose of my letter is do not Lump us All together yes you will come across pc provider who should not be working. Those Are the ones that you report. Yon Are putting us All to which is unfair. Your former provider it going i the classes now. I she in the same class As the i you Are writing about of course not. There Are acc providers who Are the Best us proud of it. Love a. Brown Huun Cernay the s uttt.1 to  to Slin ind sep Apo 09211. Inlo Mitwol a Ruhr. Co. Jeffrey m.  com Nunda Edna f Criff it co. Suzanne t cd rum. 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