European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 17, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns hoho hoping for a parking space at the mall by Dave Barry Knight a Tudor newspaper o h e do in we find ourselves enmeshed in the i  season. It s a very  Lime of year in my family i share centuries old traditions like in Yin to find a parking space .11 the mall. We Ili ibis by driving around the parking lot until we see n shopper emerge from Iho mall Ihen we follow her in very much the same spirit As the thrift1 i Man who 2,000 years ago followed .1 Star week after week until it led them to a parking space. We try to keep car bumper about four inches from the shopper s calves to let the other circling cars know thai she belongs to us. Sometimes iwo cars will gel Inlo a fight Over whom he shopper Licking to similar la the Way great White Sharks will fight Over when gels i  a snorkelers. So we follow our shopper closely hunched Over the steering wheel whistling to s beginning Tulik .1 in i Iki Chris that through our Leech until Vve arrive ill he r , Whit h is usually parked several Tail Hies away from the mail. Sometimes our shopper Iris to indicate  she was merely planning to drop off some packages and in Back i shopping bul when she hears our engine Rev in a festive fashion and sees the Holiday gleam in Mil eyes she realizes she would never Niaki it. Antl so we Park Mil clamber joyously out of Nur tar through the windows which is necessary because the crack mall parking space size reduction team has been at work again. They get Mil there almost every night and redo the entire parking lot each Lime making the spaces smaller until finally hey Are using my a Ell of Box to Mark the Width Between lines. Let s see them fit in there they say laughing because icy know we will try. If necessary they know we will pull Inlo the parking   de on our two left Side wheels like  stunt Drivers because we ire Holiday shoppers. I do not mean to suggest  the True meaning of the Holiday season is finding n parking space. No the True meaning of the Holiday season is finding a sales clerk. The Way to do this is look around the store for one of those unmarked doors then burst through it Wilhour warning. There you will find d 211. Your of it Lipini h ill by / a ird Erv in tit a. Mia Minnon Hgrati ital shi1 .111 Tsily Init Rui Lioni tit her of Luton. Wilri pts might line  17, 1987