European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 22, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Celebrating the ceremony by Barbara Mayer associated Pressw Hen Leona Rocha 50, married William p. Wilson 66, a party with All the trimmings followed the Church ceremony in which the couple s adult children from earlier marriages a family Clergyman and a Best Friend participated. Nowadays people realize that a wedding is a very serious event and a grand Celebration is merited says Rocha. Explaining All the fuss. The Altitude contrasts with the typical remarriage Only 10 years ago. When it was usually a quiet affair with Only a few friends and family attending. A remarriage is far Morg similar to a first marriage than it used to be. Bride s Magazine found in a 1987 Survey. This fact was confirmed by Rocha who studied bridal Market statistics with More than a Bride s interest since she is an executive at Vogue Bull Rick patterns. The Bride s Survey found that today s bridal couples older better educated and More affluent than their counterparts a decade ago Are not Only putting More Money into their weddings but they Are also marrying primarily Tor nurturing and intimacy rather than for economic necessity. To celebrate the fact they have found someone they want to spend the rest of their life with As Rocha put it they Are going All out on the ceremony and attendant hoopla. The traditional wedding is the dream of most of the Survey respondents. They see the wedding As an occasion of rituals. But although the traditional rites special clothes a Beautiful setting in front of family and friends elaborate feasting and toasting Are in place there Are some changes. Traditions some regard As meaningless such As giving away the Bride Are often left out instead the officiant May ask who supports this Union both the Bride s and Groom s parents will answer we  another instance of change is the greater degree of participation of the Groom who is Likely to help pick the wedding site address invitations and write thank you notes. Grooms May take part in a pre wedding Shower. There is also a trend toward the Groom s family sharing wedding expenses new wedding formats include the Long weekend wedding the progressive wedding and the vacation resort wedding. These symbols of a Mobile and affluent society were created to solve dilemmas brought on by the fact that the couple May live far away from family and longtime friends. A weekend wedding brings together family and friends for a Celebration that lasts for two or More Days and includes a number of events to allow guests to meet and get to know one another. Guests gather Friday evening for a rehearsal dinner. After a morning activity such As a game of Golf or softball the wedding takes place. Then on sunday even if the couple has left a final picnic Brunch or Pool party takes place before the guests return Home. A progressive wedding is also comprised of a number of events but it is the Bride and Groom who do the travelling. They May begin with a party in the City where they both work. Next they go to the Bride s Home town for a traditional Small ceremony with the immediate family and close friends. Then they May go the Groom s Home town for a round of parties or to the College Campus where they first met. Or the City where both have friends for More Celebration. Yet another Type of wedding especially popular with couples who Are older or marrying for the second time is one conducted away from Home in a setting that has special significance to them. In some instances the Bride and Groom invite their parents close friends and relatives to join them in this special place to witness the Exchange of vows and enjoy a weekend vacation at the same time. As a Rule guests pay their own fare and lodging but the bridal couple picks up some or All of the food and entertainment expenses. Of of a i ?11 discuss special issues before not after the wedding by Barbara Mayer associated Pressa proposal and an acceptance were All that used to be necessary for a marriage ceremony to take place. Today a couple May Well have discussions of financial Legal psychological and religious or moral aspects of the Union before the wedding takes place. The new thinking is that discussions of important issues put a marriage on a sound basis from the very beginning. According to Ann f. Dahl a clinical social worker in new Haven conn., and founder and co director of the Connecticut remarriage research and consultation group it is very much in the interest of a couple to look at the issues that surface in every marriage having children handling Money and dealing with relatives. In remarriage relationships with children and sex spouses also should be discussed. Many Are concerned about hurting feelings or bringing up troublesome issues. But issues that Are not talked about Are Likely to give More difficulty than those that Are she says. Dahl who has been counselling remarriage couples for More than 12 years says that As a Rule consultation strengthens an impending marriage though couples May fear that they will learn something they Don t want to know in the process. The Issue people often have the hardest time looking at is Money she says. Yet questions of property rights guardianship and inheritance of children expenditures for children s education health insurance and wills Are almost inevitable. Consulting with an attorney or other professional is Wise in her opinion. Prenuptial financial agreements have become More widespread especially in second marriages to safeguard the property rights of children from another marriage. The financial aspects of such contracts can be legally binding superseding stale Laws governing property distribution. Several states have made provisions for premarital agreements adopting a uniform Law which mandates adequate knowledge of each other s property and financial situation and written consent of both parties in any agreement. Nowadays a number of religious denominations mandate pastoral counselling and encourage couples to seriously consider their impending marriage. In the Catholic Church for example formal marriage preparation programs Are in place in most localities and about 80 percent of Catholic couples take them according to Walter Sweeney coordinator of marriage preparation programs for the archdiocese of new York. Sunday May 22. 1988 the stars and stripes Page 15