European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 4, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Ami Landers dear Ann Landers my husband and i have several friends who like to drop in late in the evening. We both must gel up at 7 . To go to work so we arc usually in bed by 1 1 . Some of these friends Slop Over As late As 10 . And slay until i in the morning. Of course we Are sex Haus cd the next Day. We be tried to discourage these late visitors by hanging signs on the door. One read this House is closed at 1 1 ." another was the simple statement we arc tired and have gone to  they thought the signs were Tunny and rang the Ell anyway. It does t help to turn out the lights. We be tried it. Believe it or not they Pound on the door until we answer. We Don t want to drive our friends away Ann we just want them to be a Little More considerate. Can you help frustrated but Friendly in Nebraska dear rns apparently you hate new heard of the Landers Law of interpersonal relations. It goes like this no one can take advantage of you without your Perrol ton when you let these clods in at any Hoar you give them per minion to continue to drop in when Ortr they feel like you can put an end to this nonsense by being emphatic. Tell them Yoo value their Friendship but you Are dead serious when you say you never want hem to drop by alter 10 . Because you go to Bud at 11. Then shut the door. Dear Ann Landers when my Mother died in 1984 she left me almost nothing. Her estate was considerable but 1 decided not to contest it because 1 have three Brothers whom i love. Their Good will was More important to me than the Money. Two of my Brothers have not spoken to each other in almost four years. Why lamps. You heard right. A Lousy pair of living room lamps. They Bolh wanted them. If my parents knew How their sons were behaving they would be spinning in their Graves. Maybe with a Little Luck both Brothers with go broke find Start believing like family again. Sign me a sad sister in Reading mass. Dear sister Back to 1788, Johson Kaspar Lavale Swiss Theo Logian saw say nol that you know another entirely lilt you have shared an inheritance with  your letter proves that Many things May change with Lime but human nature remains the same. My condolences to you and a pox on your Brothers dear Ann Landers please print this message to All those women who write and complain that there Are no decent men around when you Slop looking for a 6-foot-2 hunk  big Muscles and a full head of hair and decide that you will Settle for an average looking intelligent and caring person you will find plenty of men to choose from. My son 32 years of age is average height average looking and slightly Baldt bul he is Bright interesting and would Matte a wonderful husband. He would love to gel married but he has been rejected so often thai he has Given up. By the time these fussy women reach 35 and decide maybe they should change their values the it Tell men will have decided Hal it s not Worth the Effort. . In my am i Fla. Tell your son not to give up. There s a big demand for men who fit his description but Lea often they arc Locking for gorgeous women with Money yet. That train Nuu Bolh ways mama. Guide to writing letters to cafes an i used to think that letters to the editor complaining about cafes or an were written by a Staft of ghost writers within your editorial department. I be now come to the conclusion that these Are in fact written by real people who Haven t yet grasped the fact that writing to the stars and stripes about cafes or an makes about As much sense As writing Ann Landers to complain about the Baltimore orioles. If you have a pay inquiry do you file it with the bandmaster if one of your soldiers flunks the it test a you complain to the education Center of course nol. Why therefore do people write stripes about cafes or an when their respective chains of com Mand Are As separate As those of  eur or Safe both cafes and an have Public relations depart ments Hal exist among other reasons to answer and resolve problems facing their audiences. Sometimes though people go through those channels and Aren t satisfied with the answers. So what do they do Why they while stars and stripes and guess what they go right Back to drum Roll please cafes and an to draft an answer. From first hand experience with these organizations if you while them sensibly and address them like they re human remember so Are Youyou la get a response that s Bolh courteous and accurate. You May not like what they have to say but they will give you an answer. Naturally everyone has the right to write the editor. And people will still continue to write stripes to com Plain about these organizations. In t it amazing that most of these letters arc from the duty stations that have the largest and most up to Date facilities prospective writers should follow in the footsteps of so Many who have written so much about so liitle. Therefore Here humbly submitted is the unofficial stars and stripes elements of style for cafes an complaints 1. Remember you re the expel. Hey you re the world traveler. You be shopped All the most exclusive stores Wal Mart k. Mart . Penney Etc and you be spent hours boning up on International communications agreements. You re an expert bul never mind the fact that you be never bothered to apply to contribute your expertise to either of these organizations. 2. Nobody there knows Hal they re doing. Naturally you do. This expands the parameters of Rule i. Thai s Why you with your marketing programming expertise Are where you can Pul your talents to the Best use As the outside observer shopping the slut Gart Exchange and receiving an when Here arc thousands of others who Are Lucky to live 40 Kilometres from the nearest transmitter or major Exchange. Be considerate please the rest of Europe is wailing for you 10 put your my Enslo work for us. 3. Always tale a Survey. Whal Gripe tuner is com plete without a Survey you know the kind. "1 asked All of my friends. Who cares that they won t Dis agree with you because icy re friends. Who cares that you outrank them All so what if the margin of error is plus or minus 99 percent but Don t Stop there. You must reach a conclusion such As thinking that your Survey of 20 people is reflective of All inc americans fort Campbell reunion fort Campbell High school alumni Wilt hold a re Union aug. 13-14 at fort Campbl High school fort Campbell by. For More information Contact Luann Fonner Miorin 556 e. Pine St. Geona a. 17042 Telephone 717 273-6941 stationed in Germany. Which leads us to. 4. The if things were done my Way then x percent would to for ii Law where x represents any number Between 95 and 99. Please refer to rules 2 and 3. Of what the Heck refer to Rule i Loo. After ail you re the expert and you re going to speak for All of  eur whether you know them or nol. This ploy is used to Transfer an opinion to being considered As fact. It s nol coincidental that the next Rule is. 5. It s of to put off an opinion in fad. By now you be read statements like most soldiers  As opposed to most of the soldiers i be talked to prefer .,."before they did this they should have conducted a Survey they already did. You May not have been asked bul they did. Film at 11 .cafes insatiable quest for profits Etc. Remember your letter is in the Public interest and everything goes when you re trying to make a Point. Speaking of which 6. If you inn t sure of the facts make them up. This applies More to cafes letters than an letters and usually it s in reference to profits blockage policies and pricing policies. Sometimes it takes on the form of hearing in from someone else a Alicr than personally investigating it.7. Why cant they do ii like. Once again this is More for cafes writers. Usually department store chains in the United Stales Are invoked with the writer being Quick to Volunteer to do something involving the other stores is. Cafes just once i d like to see them Lake them up on it especially when it comes time to foot the Bill for round trip transportation. Included in this must be a discussion about Price comparisons especially with mail order companies. While you re out invest Ealing be sure 10 look for inc regulation that cafes Tusl sell lower than any other establishment. This May Ken you investigating for the rest of your life but Geraldo Rivera got his so nil some Way did l he. 8,1 know what everybody wants. Yes indeed you were truly blessed to be inc sole guardian of such knowledge and now you re ready to enlighten  rest of us by addressing that letter to stars Anil stripes. They 11 get an answer to this by doing exactly what you shout have done in the first place Contact ing cafes or an directly. Of you re ready Lomi s that letter. But before you run off to the Apo. Have you checked your letter to Sec that you a. Made baseless illegal ions b. Ran roughshod Over the facts c. Wrote it As an All knowing Superior being d. Took the offensive from Start to finish1. E. Neglected to write either of these organi nations directly f. Neglected to consider what life would be like without either of these you can write cafes and ils customer re aliens department at Apo new York 09245. For an Anil its Public relations department it s Apo new York 09757. Please Don t withhold my name. My parents gave it to me and i m proud of it.   wort him Wisl Ger Quiny pen pals p1�� Al T k Rax pot Oil column. 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