European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 14, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                That grandiose sense of by Daniel Goleman new York times narcissists will be pleased to know that they now hold the fascination of psychotherapists More than Ever. In fact. Therapists Are recognizing narcissism in More and More of their patients. The trails include an Ini lated sett import Lance and an insatiable need to be the Center of attention. While no one knows if the ranks of narcissists Are truly growing or it the therapists Are simply recognizing Thorn More often narcissism is increasingly being diagnosed As the underlying problem in patient who complain of other problems such As failed relationships or severe depression after minor failures. Along with the rising interest in treating those whose narcissism undermines heir menial health is a growing appreciation of How healthy narcissism plays a major and useful role in the lives of successful people. Psychoanalysts Lor example see signs of narcissism in the drive to receive adulation that Powers the careers of sports and entertainment figures. But narcissism May also help explain those Petty tyrants who run companies or offices As though they were totalitarian  narcissism has been known since ancient times and was described by Freud in his writings diagnosis and treatment of the condition is now surging particularly among therapists with a psychoanalytic  the attendance at a Conler nce on treating narcissists to be held this weekend hosted by the psychiatry department of Massachusetts general Hospital in  course has been sold out Lor weeks said Gerald Adler. A psychiatrist at Harvard medical school who is one of the organizers. If we had More than double the room we could till it  the course for 450 people is the Hospital s third in three years on treating narcissism each has eventually sold out but this year tickets became unavailable within weeks of the initial announcement after said. Why the intense interest one reason is thai narcissists Are particularly hard to treat. They find it difficult to form the warm Bond with a therapist that naturally evolves with most other patients. Instead they often become cold or even enraged when a therapist fails to play along with their inflated sense of themselves. A narcissistic patient is Likely at some Point to attack or devalue the therapist Adler said it s hard to have to sit Wilh such people in your office but narcissism is not limited to the most extreme Erma Bumbeck Castic who make their Way to the therapists office. Many psychoanalysis hold thai a healthy adjustment and successful Lita is based to some degree on narcissism heal Lily narcissists Teel Good about themselves without needing constant reassurance about their Worth. They May be a bit exhibitionist in but do not need to play Down Iho accomplishments of others to put themselves in a Good Light. And although they May like adulation they do no crave it. Normal narcissism is Vilai or satisfaction and survival it is the capacity to identify what you need and want said James Masterson a psychiatrist at Cornell University medical College. His Book to search Tor the real sell published by the free press a division of Macmillan & co., describes the treatment of narcissism. " pathological narcissists on he other hand need narcissism May also help explain those Petty tyrants who run companies or offices As though they were totalitarian states continual reassurance about their value without it they eel worthless. Though they have a grandiose sense of themselves they crave adulation because they Are so unsure of themselves thai they do not know they have Dona Well or Are worthwhile without hearing it from someone Alse the deeply narcissistic person feels incomplete and uses other people o feel whole said Adler. Normally people Leel Complete on their own with the stud of narcissism the Issue of self esteem has moved to the Center of psychoanalyst concern sell esteem depends on How Well developed your sense of sell is said Paul Ornstein a psychiatrist at the University of Cincinnati. We re ail exceedingly protective to the extent we feel  narcissistic vulnerabilities As psychoanalysts refer to them make people particularly sensitive to How other people regard them. You see it in marriage in friendships at work Ornstein said. If your Boss Falls to smile when you Greet him it May create a withdrawn anxious Leeling. " if so your self esteem has been Hurt. A sturdy sell absorbs that it has a Bank account of sell esteem so it s not unbalanced. But if you re vulnerable then these seemingly Small slights Are like a Large trauma on the surface extreme narcissists Are often Brash and sell assured surrounded by a Aura of Success. Indeed they Are often successful in their careers and relationships but beneath that Success Leedings of Inadequacy create the constant need to keep inflating their sense of themselves. If they do not get the Praise they need they can lapse into depression and rage admiration rather than the pure pleasure of doing things Well. Is what propels narcissists to their Success psychoanalysts say. Thus Many workaholics put in their Long hours out of the narcissist s need to to be applauded and of course the same need makes Many narcissists gravitate to careers such As acting modelling or politics where the applause is explicit. Many difficulties in intimate relations Are due to narcissism according to David a. Berkowtz a psychiatrist at Tufts University. Narcissism makes someone vulnerable to the least failure to be loved or accepted just As they Are by their partner Berkowtz said. Marriage brings to the fore All one s childhood yearnings for unconditional acceptance. A successful marriage includes the Freedom to regress to enjoy a childlike dependency. But in marriage a couple also lend of re enact Early relationships with parents who failed to give them enough love. This is particularly hard on those Wilh Tho emotional vulnerabilities of the  narcissists tend to surround themselves with people who will Laud them father than give criticism when it is needed. They Are drawn too to the trappings of Success such As automobiles or houses that announce their Worth to the world. Narcissists find in them support of their grandiose sense of themselves. Narcissists Are typically charming and irl endly. Their own intense need Lor adulation makes them sensitive to the same needs in others and so they Are particularly adept at ingratiating themselves. Bui there is a hidden Agenda to their friendliness they Are interested Only to the  their own self importance is fed by it. At its pathological extreme the narcissist s intense drive to inflate his sense of grandiosity is seen by psychoanalysis As protecting him from a deep feeling that his tile is empty and that underneath ii All he la worthless.  if you want to know where the country is headed look to the toy departments. For years they have been the barometer for every new trend or direction taking place. They have been forerunners of the space program technology and he women s revolution. Military toys have reflected our enemies and sex education brought us anatomically Correct dolls. And i la Bel there in t one of you who can t remember where you were and what you were doing the Day you discovered Barbie went  thai s Why 1 nearly fell Oul of my chair he other Day when i was Reading a toy Catalon that featured a laundry and cleaning Center Foi glamorous fashion dolls to care Lor their partly clothing. I m serious. There was this doll Wilh 30 pounds of Flaxen hair and a body that denied Gravity standing in front of an ironing Board. Behind her was a Washer a Page 16 the stars and stripes vacuum cleaner that really worked an Iron that glowed when plugged into the socket., a bucket and pretend soap. Sal teries and Skinny laundress not included what kind of message is the toy Industry sending out Here am i to believe that Young women Are going to learn Haw to plug in an Iron is polyester becoming an endangered species is it possible Barbie will go Domestic on us barbies who wears underwear with a dry clean Only Label in them or Are they trying to lure Young people Back to the Utility room with designer appliances i Don t know trial to think. There s a theory that toys shape your children s lives i believe it. Whan they came Oul with a baby doll thai wet burped crawled talked and whined the birth Rale ultimately declined. Those Little play kitchens stocked Wilh ovens to be cleaned Little boxes of mixes to be baked and tiny pans that had to be washed monday november 14,1988 produced a generation of tast ipod junkies. And lace it dollhouses that involved moving the furniture around All Day drove yesterday s children to studio apartments. It s an interesting concept but frankly in a world where Barbie changes Heads to change the color of her hair i Don l think it will Fly. Ii has taken women 200 years to gel Oul of the Utility room and a Pink bucket with a Matching Iron in t going to get them Back. Nowadays when you Iron your husband s shirt you ask if he plans to take his jacket off. Hand washable a go Oul of style waiting to be laundered. When you ask your kid id drop blk his Muddy gym shoes in the Utility room he asks where is it in the same Catalon i noticed there was a Little boy in a red Turbo Lamborghini. Put him in Iron of the ironing Board and see How it alays. E i9h Emu Bartnek