European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 2, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns politeness rampant in new York so says Survey by Dave Barry Knight ride act have a shocking development to report in the ongoing War on rudeness in a recent Survey on politeness in american cities i him nil making up new York was ranked a comfortable i Hird. In not adjust your newspaper. You read that Corr Colv. A etiquette consultant mar Jahelk Young Stewart announced thai according to her Survey the big Apple is More polite than for example be smokes Iowa the big pork m sure this raises in your mind love were Start ing to Gucci ourselves to death with buying things and owning hings and yet we did t even know he proper Way to eat and right now did you know that etiquette books Are outselling cookbooks and i think it s a wonderful because i really think we Are trying to be a Kinder and gentler nation and did t you just love All the a Lille Bush grandchildren during he inauguration ceremonies when i told Stewart that i work for the Miami Herald she apologized forthe fact thai get ready for Hearty laughter Miami had not been included As one of the 10 most polite cities. I told her i had to problem with that. We Are talking after All about a City where it is considered the height of old world Courtesy to Holster your weapon in Church. But i said thai i did have a lot of trouble understanding How new York could have made the nationwide politeness list seeing As Haw it contains so Many new yorkers. I m not suggesting Here that All new yorkers Are always rude about everything you understand. I spent a couple of years in new York and i found that the City s residents have a highly developed sense of decorum in certain Ricky areas of etiquette such As How to net when one encounters a naked one legged on the sidewalk. This actually happened to friends of mine Rob and of one snowy january evening when they were leaving of s apartment on in Street in Manhattan to go buy More Beer. They come put the front door and there Large is life was a very cheerful one legged Man whose entire evening Wear ensemble consisted Oil a crutches and is a shoe. In residents of almost any other City an encounter such As this would have provoked some kind of unseemly As alerting the authorities or going huh but All it provoked in Rob and Tow was a mild debate Over whether the Man was really there or not with of taking the position that he was and Rob taking he positron maybe they had consumed Loo much Beer. Not that this prevented them from buying More of course. You rarely see this kind of Savoir Faire outside he big Apple. But i feel thai new York some brushing up to do an certain Basic etiquette issues such As when in is proper for one to try to kill Complete strangers for no apparent reason with one s taxicab. Also there is t he whole area of waiting one s turn. Let s say you re in a crowded new York department store on a Rainy Day and you re attempting to buy an umbrella and its clearly your turn to be wailed1 on. I guarantee you that just As you step Forward somebody will come barging past you clutching an umbrella and shouting miss excuse me miss at he salesperson in a tone of voice suggesting that Ink umbrella is needed for a top secret National Security Mission upon which hinges the Fate of the entire planet and there is no time to even notice Lei alone apologize to an Ordinary civilian such As yourself seeking to buy an umbrella for selfish personal use. So of course the salesperson wails on this person immediately and just As it is your turn again another person carrying another strategically vital umbrella will Rush up shouting miss excuse Hie. Miss and his will continue until the salesperson has wailed on All of the priority one umbrella customers in the metropolitan area Afler which you to make your Purchase and lurch outside to discover that it has stopped mining after which you vill to struck Fay a taxicab so asked Stewart How this could be the i hard ranker ally in terms of politeness and she said her list is based on a Survey of her business clients who report that the have found new York Lobea courteous place. Her explanation for this is thai the etiquette trend is really catching on. My explanation is thai these clients must have been ill town for routine of their loan Tunis scars. But of course 1 fir to police to Sny so by Deo Bye. Stores ought t to bad music by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners Lam totally led tip with thai bad music that All the stores play. Why must they think we like their Type of music or need music at Alii even the drugstore plays loud music and it makes me nervous and irritable. I would prefer having smoke than music or what they Call music. It gives me a headache arid i gel out of stores As fas a possible. Why Don t we make them turn it off alter All we Tell people they Aren t allowed to smoke. Centie Reader imbed Lead the charge and miss manners will follow waving the etiquette Flag the comparison with smoke is a Good one because in dumb n ethic s that this is nol a contest Between two equal Nihls the right to music and the right to silence but a Jsu of an intrusive preference against 4 non Mari live one in the ensuing conflict miss manners reminds the music lovers thai she his steadily defended the wearing of headsets for recreational purposes bul not during work to shut out customers request although against considerable prejudice. It is not the listening Titbit Rise if to which mass manners objects but forcing it on others. Dear miss manners during the Early stage of my career i received much assistance advice and the Type of schooling that can Only be Given by older More experienced colleagues like All youths 1 applied some lessons correctly while i ignored other advice Only to realize its value later. I have loss touch with most of those Early mentors but through the business Grapevine i occasionally hear about them. With several i Exchange Christmas cards but have no other communication. Twice last month i heard of Farmer colleagues who had terminal cancer. My immediate thought How awful was followed by a desire to Contact the people no so much to offer my condolences which scent appropriate but in questionable taste hut to thank Herh for the valuable lessons they gave me so generously years ago. However because of the length of time since my last Contact i hesitate to communicate at All hoping a silence maintained is leu tasteless than an awkward communication however Well intended. What if anything would be appropriate gentle Reader to fail to thank , in is too con hardly classified As an exhibition of Good Tasso quite the contrary. Of course the a want to Lell you what your letter should be written Al Ihu first big Milestone of one s career. Bui that yours Are overdue is no reason to compound the error. In Spile of her harshness miss manners does understand do no wish to appear to have recognized the debt Only because these people Are dying. Bui she assures you that you will not feel belter putting your gratitude Inq your letters of sympathy to ii in survivors knowing thai it is beyond the reach of your mentors. Flentse write now ignoring the gossip you have heard about i heir health. Condolences Are not in order unless the people themselves confide their troubles to you and even Ihen the emphasis should be on their accomplishments., and while you re at it write to the former mentors who Are feeling Fine Loo. Miss manners promises you that it will feel Butler dear miss manners my husband and 1 occasionally entertain on a very casual basis a Barbecue or just an evening playing cards with friends and frequently we invite a very dear Friend of mine and her husband during the past two years this couple has several times accepted our invitations then called at the last minute to say they could not come because the husband Wei too while this does t greatly inconvenience us i still feel miffed. Had i known her husband would tic so fatigued i would have invited one of our More energetic friends. This Man is.3.1 years old should i say anything to my Friend or just continue to invite them whal about when they invite us to heir Houie should we go knowing they May never allow us to reciprocate you might wonder if perhaps his Man just docs not enjoy our company but they have invited us Over to heir House Many times and they always seem to enjoy our visits. Centle Reader T miss manners is Wowk Del r us this Man and so should you be if he is your very Clear Friend s husband. While it is possible Hal they drum the ranks of the rude who regard Anvil Lions As Mere suggestions if they happen in be in the mood to Allert it is also possible thai he is seriously ill i Ritli Tir tin. Illness itself or its treatment Taucci a Terri inc loll on him. In any Case you can use the privilege of intimacy to say poor Clark so often has to until Otil it the last minute i Hope there s nothing seriously wrong if he is not ill that May cure him. " have a o. Us Salon on etiquette Warric to miss my Rani n in com of the Sims and stripes Apo 09211. Your question to ill tie forwarded to her. Mas mar then regrets that she can answer quest on Only in her column. Mirth 2, 1sb9 la Ripe Magazine
