European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 22, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Arm Landers Ann Landers is on vacation. The following column is a reran. Her regular column will be resumed on sept. 3. Dear Ann Landers recently you printed eight suggestions on How to break up the marriage of a son or daughter. I would like to add two More. These arc guaranteed to work. I know because they destroyed my marriage. Here they Are 1. Whenever your married son and daughter visit with their Chil Dren make a Point of How thin and tired the kids look. Get across the message that you Don t have a very High opinion of the Way your beloved grandchildren Are being cared Tor. Intimate that the Mother s neglect is detrimental to the health or the youngsters. Ask repeatedly what they cat and Why it is that they have so Many colds. If the kid Breaks a tooth or is injured during play get All the details and place blame on Lack of supervision. 2. If your son has a Button off his shirt or if his shirt in t ironed As Well As you used to do it when he lived at Home say something. Also mention the Hole in his sock or the spot on his coat. It will fan the flame of self pity and it could Start the final fight that ends in the divorce court. I Hope you will reprint the original eight rules along with the two additional suggestions As a refresher course for in Laws. The divorce lawyers from coast to coast arc sure to profit from a rerun. Thank you. I happened in new Mexico dear n. Me thank you for two splendid additions to the original eight ways to break up a marriage. For those who did t see the first eight Here they Are 1. When a son or daughter lets you know he or she plans to be married show open hostility to the person of his or her Choice. After All marriage Means less love and attention for parents and they have a right to resent it. 2. Expect your married children to spend every Sun Day and Holiday at your Home. Act Hurt if they have other plans. 3. If your married children have problems with their mates encourage them to come Home no matter what. Listen attentively to All complaints and Point out additional faults that May have gone unobserved. Remember a drop of water at a time can Wear away a Rock if you keep at it Long enough. 4. If your married children Are having financial prob lems Rush in with the Check Book. If you Are having financial problems yourself borrow if necessary but let them know they la never have to do without anything so Long As Yon Are around. 5. If a married child has a drinking problem keep telling him his mate drove him to it. It will make him feel better. Everyone needs someone to blame. 6. If your married child gets an Opportunity for advancement that takes him to another City Tell him family is More important than Money and if he leaves god will punish him for not obeying the commandment Honor thy father and thy Mother. 7. If there Are grandchildren smother them with gifts. If the parents object Tell them to keep out of it. After All grandchildren Are to spoil. Sneak Money to the kids secretly if you have to. They la love you for it. 8. If your married child has a difference of opinion with his mate get into the act and give them both Sample of your Wisdom born of years of experience. What do they know you be lived if you talk loud enough maybe you can turn a minor argument into a major hassle and break up the marriage. Letters chronic complainers Are taken to task Simon says quit complaining about every  Simon has Only one thing to complain about and that is you. I would say the majority of complainers Over Here in Europe Are what i Call the dependent Force. Yes. You have the army air Force Navy marines and the dependent Force. Simon says guess what when your spouse got orders to come to Europe was t there a Choice for you to make accompanied or non accompanied. Could All you complainers have marked the wrong Box know what you arc saying you wanted to be with your spouse but Quoss what again Uncle Sam really would have liked for you to have stayed in the states. Why he would have even paid you More a month to be separated from your spouse. Not you though you wanted to come to Europe to Sec All the wonderful Sites. Simon says it in t cheap is it and you spouse can t just take off work any time you want to go travelling. So you stay on Post base whatever you want to Call it making daily trips to the exchanges commis Saries and Banks. Since i know by now you Are Proba Bly bored you find something to do complain. Simon says Surprise there arc no k  or target stores on every  even Simon wishes there were because even though i Don t complain about cafes. I think they will always have a never ending task trying to satisfy or serve you. So i do most of my shopping on the Economy. Simon says Why because there arc too Many of you Over Here. I guess it would t be too bad having you Over Here but for some unknown reason you Al ways seem to have Little ones tagging along with  living in base housing cause a woman to become pregnant no i guess not because Simon lives on Post and 1 Don t have any Little ones. It also seems to Simon that a lot of dependents who do have kids Don t know they have them. All i hear Are parents Yelling out of their windows or in the stairwells As if would you believe they Don t even know where they Are. Simon even has heard the neighbors complain about there not being enough for their kids to do on Post yet they Don t want to be bothered with them. Simon says shame on  maybe going out Side and getting a Little exercise would be Good for you. Simon is walking on thin ice now but come on. You know who i am talking about. Get into a fitness pro Gram with your husband who i Hope would be in shape. Simon says you must have the same problem All the other parents have who bring along their kids to movie Heaters even if the show is rated  then believe it or not you complain to other people that someone was very rude to your kids for telling them to sit still and be quiet. Simon says this is my second tour to Europe and the articles in the stars and stripes complaining about everything Haven t changed a bit Only the  so see Don t feel too bad about everything. You Are just another complainer in line with All who have come before you. Simon says suggestion if you must be Here clean up your  get out and shop on inc Economy take sightseeing Tours find a baby Sitter get into shape and before Long i bet you will Stop complaining. Simon finally says this is the service not a  name withheld Stuttgart Germany soldiers and nyc police an analogy i just returned from two months in the United states. I found a place where . Soldiers in Europe can get real combat training at savings of billions of dollars to the . Taxpayer and be of real Benefit to the .a. Have them take on Central Park and de fend new York City without new York City police Protection of course. Those nyc cops arc real soldiers no steel Hel mets flak jackets assault rifles Tow missiles my tanks attack helicopters fog lamps to Light up slum alleys barbed wire or Concrete barriers against gang attacks. Just a wooden club a Small pistol raw guts and a prayer. The police commissioner and his staff Don t ride around in luxurious armoured plated Mer cedes benzes. The taxpayers can t afford it. Readers please no equations to nato. The real reason there has been no War in Europe is because the countries that caused All the wars in Europe and throughout most of the world now belong to nato the germans. French italians British spaniards Etc. Have been fighting one another in Europe and in their former colonies for hundreds of years. They banded together to avoid reprisals from the colonies and defenceless countries they once abused and exploited for centuries. Oversimplification perhaps. But remember the Western allies As colonists once owned the  blew it Back to nyc if you re looking for action con tact nyc police. There arc 1.800 violent cases per week is. Zero for Neucom during the last three  of nyc vacancies. If you can t handle stress however Don t apply. It does t sell As an excuse for killing innocents. In civilian life you Don t get med als for it. Instead the people not and the judge throws you in jail. You re supposed to be Cool and Tough remember very Little bennies. No medals for putting bullets through paper targets pushing paper or playing games with laser lights. Otherwise quit griping. Remember you volunteered for better or for worse. Micheal Ivanchak or. Heidelberg West Germany ten pals i would he to have pan pals. I am is Yoars old and my hobbies Are cooking singing Reading and writing. Be 2ma ast Otei. Polo Tan a negro Oriental Philippines i am interested in your pen pal column t am 18 years out and i ova going to parties and enjoy a Good Boogie. Kathryn Lafty 4 Saniar drive Newton to a tows. Mersey de wa129eo England i would Ilka to have pen pals mewa Corners 563 scat Munti Nepa metro Manaa. Philippines i am interested in having a pen pal. I am 16 years old and would like to correspond with peo i up to age 24. A. Chapped 157 aver St amp Tittl Beds. Mk4s2sf England please place my name in the pen pal column i am Welsh and work in England. I am 24 years of. To. Coops h.mp8uhwoodhah hockley.esmx6s54te England i m 28 and enjoy keeping fit and would fee to correspond with anyone who has a sense of humor. Rose Brewer . S. Wales great Britain thestil european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook. Us commander editor i Oxer it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in Cowel production manager. Meet Proctor deane1. 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