European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 05, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Tuesday septembers. 1989 the stars and stripes Arm Landers Page 11 letters Dew readers pm writing about the 17-year old firl in Green Bay who was a Dror in love Irith a pry who hta her of and  he promised it woes int happen again bet it did. That letter produced a fire Tonti of responses from women was brn some plan Jinn stated advice for Green  read on from Philadelphia i would t � be Able to sleep tonight if i did t get this letter off to Green Bay. The pattern is familiar. You have an argument. He shoves you against the Wall and slaps your race. You cry. He gets very quiet the next Day he apologizes and brings you Flowers. A few weeks later you have another argument. This time he punches you in the Mouth and Breaks your jaw. He says he s sorry and drives you to the emergency room. After the next argument you wind up with a broken Arm and a Frac tured Skull. He says it s your fault. You drove me to  he s so convincing that you believe him. Please take h from me. Green Bay he will not change. Leave him before he cripples or kills you. Pensacola Fla i fell in love at 16 with a fellow who hit me every time he lost his temper. He begged me to marry him. Like a fool i did. I had two miscarriages because of his beatings. He made believe that it was my fault for provoking him. When i realized he was driving me crazy i fled 1,600 Miles away. After nine years of therapy i finally Gol Well. Too bad there was no Ann Landers when i was 16. Lake Forest Iii no woman Ever changes a Man who beats up females. The Wise woman knows this and goes about changing herself. She gels counselling an discovers that her life is 100 percent belter without him i know because i be been there. Birmingham. Ala men who hit their wives almost always beat their kids. For 10 years i was knocked around by a 220-Pound bully i weigh Island i was ashamed to Ell anybody. When he started in on my kids i brained him with a frying pan and filed for divorce. Fort Worth i cried when i read the Letler from Green Bay. It was the Story of my own life. I knew i had to gel out of a brutal relationship when the Guy closed the car window on my hand As i was reaching in. He lil a cigarette and burned my fingers. I fainted. I left him and a Cal for counselling to learn Why i Pul up with this abuse. Now i know i was As sick As he was. No Man will Ever Lay a hand on me again. Portland Ore not All abusers Are men. My 23-year old wife broke my nose and gave me several Black Eye because 1 would t let her go crazy with credit cards. I told her we were going to gel join therapy and learn How to live together in peace or 1 would divorce her. She agreed. That was eight years ago and today behave two Beautiful children and a solid marriage. This is Ann talking any woman who remains in an abusive relationship must recognize the fact that she has no self esteem and if she stays the abuser will never treat her better. For those who say they have nowhere logo there Are shelters for battered women All Over thess. And Canada. Most shelters will take the children As Well. Look in the phone directory. Call the Domestic violence hotline at 800 333-Safe and find out about help in your area. Go to a neighbor and Call a clergy Man. Call a family service Agency. Call the police and file charges. There is help for you but you must seek it. Los Angeles times syndicated columnist Landers welcomes your letters. You can write to her in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211. . Forces writer says military can t end terrorism i agree with your readers recent outrage Over the murder of it. Col. Higgins and continued holding of innocent hostages by terrorist groups in Lebanon. However when your readers Call for retaliation one must ask against whom and to what purpose it is True that military retaliation in response to terrorist activity relieves frustrations and feelings of helplessness by leaders and citizens of countries that suffer fron. Terrorism. For example 73 percent of americans polled supported the 1986 . Air strike against Libya in response to the terrorist bombing of a Berlin disco that catered to american servicemen. However such retaliation does not punish those responsible for terrorism. The United states air strike against Libya killed 32 and wounded 78 none of whom were terrorists one wonders How the 73 percent would vote if they could see the mangled bodies of the 32 dead nor did the libyan strike Stop terrorism. The relative libyan quiet following the 1986 strike is attributed among specialists to european countries closing libyan Diplo Matic facilities and expelling Large numbers of suspects. Vietnam provides an example of the ineffectiveness of conventional military retaliation. The United states bombed Haiphong Harbor in an attempt to Force North Vietnam to cease its assault against South Viet Nam. North Vietnam s operations in the South continued. The United states response was to Lay a ring of air Force and Navy steel around Hanoi. Then As during the libyan strike United states officials talked about precision raids and surgical strikes and said it was bombing Only Concrete and  we now know that hundreds of North vietnamese were dying. When North Vietnam refused to Grant desired Polit ical concessions the United Stales bombed Hanoi. While thousands died. North vietnamese leaders those responsible for the aggression in the South remained Safe and Adamant. Indeed those leaders often mentioned the air strikes As acting to band their people in Defiance and increase International disapproval of . Actions. Escalation continued until the american people viewing the carnage on television Rose As one voice and screamed Stop the Slaughter United states foreign policy was discredited its government besmirched and its military sullied. Nothing else was achieved. Such is what is meant by the expression the lessons of  there arc no such things As surgical raids or precision strikes by aircraft flying at 500 Miles per hour dodging anti aircraft fire and strafing and releasing bombs from 400 feet. The terms surgical and Preci Sion have been coined to make what is actually in discriminate attacks More palatable and to provide decision makers and planners a convenient moral loophole. Once the decision is made to retaliate by conventional military methods the Legal moral an ethical questions concerning the inadvertent death of innocents Are considered to have been dealt with. A increasing Levels of retaliation fail to achieve desired goals the response As in Vietnam is to increase the frequency and severity of retaliatory strikes. Then Many mention the israeli policy of immediate and severe military retaliation As an example to be followed. Why what has it achieved Israel remains an armed Camp barricaded against terrorist threats. While Many applaud the retaliations they contribute nothing toward solutions. There arc solutions to International terrorism. After years of seeking some magic formula to provide Immy Diate Relief our government is now moving to develop and implement Long term strategic solutions and Dur ing the interim Short term tactical Security measures. And from All indications president Bush understand the problems Wilh military retaliation. He has said he would nol approve of Wanton destruction of human life. In order to show some muscle and show some  and i Don l want to be responsible for the loss of innocent  right on or. President let s solve this problem in the tradition of american morality Justice and Protection of the innocent. William  Stuttgart West Germany Reader fears demise of real warriors1 it. Cmdr. Scott Freeman made a very valuable and important Point in his recent letter to the editor. Although he did not state it directly he was describing the difference Between professionalism and Cam re Crisp among pilots. He made the Point thai a professional places duty above politics or promotion has Little Chance for promotion while a careerist values promotion above duty has a much better Chance. It s a sad commentary on our peacetime military when in is necessary to sacrifice a career for the Sake of my  sadly i have to admit that i have noticed the same thing occurring within the army. Real warriors appear to be a dying Breed in the Active army with Many resigning or moving to the Reserve or National guard. Having said that and before the flood of letters come rolling into the stars and stripes i would just ask the readers to think about in objectively. Why arc you or your contemporaries in inc service patriotism or obligation personal commitment or personal Comfort dedication to duty or dedication to minimum survival standards in the fast Lane or in a rut moral courage or Mere convenience training for War or wailing for retire men selfless service or just can l find another Job Pursuit of perfection or pre tense of Power sense of accomplishment or delusions of grandeur Mission accomplishment or toy Cash the answers to the above questions define the differ ence Between professionals and careerists. My hat is off to you real warriors who remain professionals at the expense of your promotions. Capt. Insley it. Cmdr. Freeman i May nol Sec you in the a Lional guard or in the god forbid next armed conflict but i Hope you arc there. I will be. Our coun try needs All of you we can get both Active duty an Reserve National guard and is in your debt More than it is willing to admit. Please Don l quit on your attitude Don t quit speak ing out and most importantly Don t quit. I implore the careerists to re evaluate their priorities and become professionals before real warriors be come cd lint. After All what Good is a military Force composed of careerists when the bullets Start flying capt. Steven Curtis Worms West Germany All letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the writer and must be signed. Wedo not read unsigned letters but we will withhold your name on request and protect your privacy. All letters Are subject to editing. Thes european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook us commander editor in cruel it col Suzanne l Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in owl Marie Kominick production manager Mert Proctor Deane b. 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