European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 09, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Tuesday january 9, 1990 the stars and stripes Ann Landers dear Ann Landers i grew up in a dysfunctional i family where i was emotionally abused and made to feel Worth less. Reading was my main escape. I read your column every Day and Learned a lot from it. Often you advised people to get i there were times when i Felt you gave that advice when you did t know what else to say As a sort of a cop out but know better now. Three years ago my husband left me. It was my third marriage and i was took a Good look at my life and did t like what i saw. I had not spoken to several members of my immediate family for 10 years. I was drinking too much eating huge meals and snacking All Day Long. I hated my Job but lived in fear of losing it. Here i was 31 years old. Had made three miserable marriages and was Strug gling to raise two children. If it weren t for the kids i would have put my head in the oven. Then i read a letter in your column from a woman whose life was very much like mine. The coincidences were uncanny. You told her get i was never a religious person but somehow i Felt that a higher Power had led me to your column that Day. I decided to follow through. It was hard to make that first phone Call but i forced myself to do it. The no Challenge was to find help i could afford. I found it. It was torture to Wal through that door to my first appointment but after two sessions i knew i was on the right track. Today my life in t perfect but it s a lot better than it was. I am emotionally secure. My kids arc great. I m communicating with my relatives and while i m no crazy about them. I can behave in a civilized manner. Those two simple words get counselling change my life. I want to say them again and again. Get coun seling. Pick up the phone. Walk in the door. Get coun seling. It works. Please Ann keep saying it Over and Over again. Grateful in Chicago dear Ruder think you for telling me How those two word changed your life. I Hope your letter will encourage others to get counselling gel counselling get counselling. Dear Ann Landers you once defended pigs in your column by pointing out that they were a lot better than their image. I Hope you will do As much for bats. Before you toss this letter away please hear me out. Bats arc Well behaved and intelligent creatures essential to a healthy environment. Thanks to halloween and countless horror movies the Bat has gotten a bum rap. They Are not bloodsucking creatures that attack people. Bats Are actually quite timid. They bite Only when threatened. The Only Bat that lives on blood is the Vampire Bat. All other bats feed on insects bugs fruit and nectar. I doubt that this letter will make your column but bats deserve better press than they be been getting and i just had to try. Lexington dear be 1 know of few living creatures is unappealing and just Plain ugly is the bit. Your Point that bats do not attack people is Worth noting however. Thank you for teaching millions of people something today. Including me. While 1 Don t Promise to Lake a Bat to lunch i will no longer fear them. C lot angelas Torreis Dale and creators Syndicate Page 11 letters boy scout believes safety is important i m a 13-year-old boy scout. I just want to bring up the subject of safely. We have a definite problem. Too Many people take safety for granted and Don t realize How important safety measures can be until it is too late. Also too Many Coj to understand that Safi people Don t think. They Don t seem understand safety is a very important part of a. I r. If ,. Don t Wake up and think ing a Chance of being Hurt person s life. If people Don t Wake up an think safety they Are Takin possibly seriously. Arts has All of those warnings and messages on the radio and television. These messages usually at tract the Eye and car but think about it do people always listen one of the main warnings on television is about drinking and driving. If people would heed this Mes Sage they probably would t be Hurt or dead. It Only takes one unsafe act to Hurt or kill you. Statistics i be seen and heard indicate that about 100 people a Day get Hurt maimed or killed by drunk driving. Also five people a Day get Hurt or killed by cluttered Steps or faulty electrical wires that Start fires. Only five out of every 10 americans arc prepared for accidents. If people would listen we could make that seven out of 10 or even nine out of 10. I m just asking you to give this letter a Little consideration and talk to your families about safety. The world could be a lot safer if tried our Best. I Hope people will heed my warning. Be Safe or you could end up Michael j. Suizzo girl sled. West Germany Reader discusses child care contracts 1 recently decided to return to Woik. After searching High and Low for a Job one came my Way. Now the problem. We needed someone to provide card for our infant. Out of a list of 20 or so names we picked up from the local child care facility we found two individuals who were available. Great now came the interviews. My husband and i set up appointments. We went to the Home of the first one to be interviewed after she had Ca led to cancel twice both times at the last minute. Our first observations upon entering the House was of it being unclean and both husband and wife were dirty. We noticed her 9-month-old in Only a Dia per sitting in the Corner with a Runny nose eating out of a dog food dish. A cat leapt All Over me and my Hus band i dislike cats and a 2-year-old kept trying to take and search our child s tote bag. All the while the parents said and did nothing. Next the provider whipped out this contract which was a Long list of demands to include but not limited to six paid holidays thanksgiving and the Day after. Christmas eve. Christmas Day new year s eve and new year s Day. I might be wrong some people do receive the Holiday off but very few receive the Day before or the Day after. We were informed that if we worked on any of those Days that we would have to find someone else to keep our child. She would make some exceptions if we paid double. She also said that she received two weeks vacation per year and it was up to us to find a replacement during that time. And gel this she would keep our child during alerts Wilh prior notice. Who knows when they arc going to have an Alert the contract also states that she can terminate child care for any rules nol followed and still requires to pay the time remaining on the contract usually two weeks. Who has $ 120 to give to someone for not providing a service plus the inconvenience of find ing another provider and paying them if we decide to terminate because we Are unhappy about the care we Are still obligated to pay the two weeks. I know that 1 am pouring my heart out. But just one More thing. Field trips arc also written in. If we do not authorize our child to participate and pay for the trip we arc Obliga cd to find someone else to watch our child while the Field trip is going on an additional expense for the parents. By now i am sure that you Are aware of the fad that our child is nol in this woman s Home. The second interview went much belter. The House was clean. The children were clean and Well behaved. We were talked to like we weren t slime but then came inc dreaded contract basically the same As be fore. We checked around and All the contracts arc the same. It s As if they were written by the same person. All were in i want you will language leaving the parents with two options take it or leave it. The contracts Are written Only for the by Neil of the provider. So what s a Parent to do i know contracts Are necessary to Prev Cal people from taking advantage of care providers. However the items i be listed Are major obstacles for single parents or iwo working parcels to overcome if nol making it impossible. Name and location withheld All letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the writer and must be signed. We do not read unsigned letters but we Mill withhold your name on request and protect your privacy. All letters Are subject to editing. European edition col Gene e. Townsend Usan commander editor in Chiel it col Suzanne l. Phillips. Usan Deputy m Chiel Raj the Koh Tycki Mert of doctor Deane b. Mcdermott proud con manager managing Ednor circulation manager Tim newspaper h an author died unofficial publication for members of the a dreary tar feet overheat. Con Lett of the Start and Stripe Are not be Cotterly the official in i of. Or endorsed by. The . Government the department of detente or the european command. 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