European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 20, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Continued irom Page 16 such incidents so psychiatrists often have them draw pictures drawing is an Active self expression and that s what therapy is All  said eth eth then asks the child to Tell a Story about the i drawing if the child does not do so in the Story he links the picture and Story to the traumatic event that opens the Vay for the child to speak candidly. You have the child go Over the trauma moving from actions such As a drawing to  eth said so that in the retelling the child achieves some emotional distance from the event some Mastery so he feels less overwhelmed " sometimes that Mastery is won More directly in the incident near Newburgh n y. Children were walked through the school cafeteria where the Wall had fallen in Only Days before the walk in the company of reassuring adults was j meant to desensitize the youngsters to the fear of i returning in the scene of the Accident. There s a tremendous Relief for children in finding someone who actually wants to know what they be been through and can listen to everything without backing  eth said family and friends can t do it nor can teachers if they be been victimized themselves that s Why outside help is so important " signals of distress devastating events can have devastating consequences Lor children who witness them. Some symptoms Are blatant others Subtle As the following list shows. Each should signal parents and educators that a child needs help coming to terms with trauma. Fear that attaches Itsell to things reminiscent of the trauma. St. Patrick s Day struck terror into a number of Cleveland school children in Stockton. Calil. Who thought the Holiday honoured Patrick Purdy. Who Shoal children on the playground there killing live. One teacher said whenever to hear an ambulance on it Way to the rest Home Down the Street everything halts kids listen to see if it will Stop Here or Goon " hype vigilance. As though children Are on guard against a repetition of the trauma. At Cleveland school for example children would hover next to classroom doors at playtime not daring to venture onto the playground where the killings occurred. Others would play in Small groups posting one child As a Lookout. Disturbing dreams or night terrors nightmares of the incident so vivid that the child awakens screaming Are a common sign of trouble apathy and indifference often evidenced As loss of interest in school and an inability to concentrate. A sense of shame Al having been helpless during the trauma and  for not having done More to save the victims. Physical complaints especially stomach aches and headaches ghosts or monsters often haunt traumatized children Many Cleveland school children for example were terrified of restroom mirrors. A Rumor also swept school that bloody Virgin Mary a creature of some kind lurked there. Antagonism and anger particularly in the weeks following a violent event. Children May become unruly no longer obeying even parents. As yet there is no National Clearinghouse in the United states of information about such child traumas or a nationwide hot line to Deal with them. If a child appears to exhibit some of these symptoms the safest course is to Contact a psychiatrist psychologist or clinical social worker and ask for a referral to someone in your area who is experienced in treating children who have been traumatized. New York times parents can help children who have problems with schoolwork by coordinating efforts with the school to help youngsters achieve reasonable goals. Setting goals to solve problems by Marianne and Stephen w. Barber and Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service readers letter we have a daughter 13, who is the youngest of Lour. She is a very Sweet child and very Loving. The problem is she does t Complete anything she starts and when she does it takes a very Long time. She started not completing her work when in the fourth Grade. She s now in the eighth Grade. My husband and i were having marital problems then but they be been resolved. She does not do her work at school. She got four zeros in English the first four weeks. She always has an excuse. She is capable of being an a or b student if she would Only put Forth the Effort. What can we do to get her to be More responsible and turn in her work or. And mrs. D. We be never met a child who did t want to do better. Most children who Are doing poorly Are More discouraged by their performance than anyone else however they May be so overwhelmed by the scope of the problem that paralysis sets in. With no apparent Way out of the situation the child gives up. As an eighth grader your daughter is part of a much larger class. Matriculating across teachers and subject matter it is easier for her to pass through the system unnoticed. To make the situation More manageable first coordinate efforts with the school then set very specific goals for each problem. Review your daughter s school record. Discuss her performance at the elementary and Middle school Levels with the school Counselor. Does your daughter s achievement test performance indicate areas of weakness what is her Reading level As students Progress through the grades they must assume responsibility for learning if she lacks Basic skills she will have greater difficulty and naturally tend to avoid work. Request additional testing if necessary then follow through with tutoring or whatever is needed. Talk Wilh her teachers. Request a meeting with them to design ways to increase her cooperation because your daughter is old enough to be part of the process it May be Wise to include her. She May be Able to Supply insight or suggestions with which she will comply. Design a Homework plan. If you gel your daughter the help she needs her Altitude May change design a contract that outlines her responsibilities and yours when it comes to school. Include the daily consequences for completing her work As assigned As Well As the logical outcome of non compliance. If she does t keep her part the contract should designate appropriate negative consequences. Negotiate grades assuming you have your ducks in a Row meaning tutoring and a Homework plan determine Grade goals for the Quarter. Talk with your daughter s teachers about How grades Are determined then ask your daughter to keep a graph of her test scores with tests on the horizontal Axis and scores along the vertical Axis. Mark a line across the Point representing the Quarter Grade she Hopes to earn. Tackle the procrastination problem. Whatever the Job agree on a reasonable time to accomplish it set a timer and let work begin. Ultimately the responsibility for school and chores must lie within your child. It is your task to find a Way to work with her to achieve reasonable goals the other night my husband and i went to one of those movie mazes in the mall where there Are six Heaters in an area the size of a three car garage is it my imagination or Are these Heaters becoming smaller i fought an overwhelming urge to introduce myself to the other seven people who were there one of the great thrills of going to movies used to be that viewers were treated to pictures of people bigger than life. On this screen rambo would have looked like a troll and Gandhi would have appeared lonely. I drifted for a moment and actually imagined i was in my own living room. It was t much of a stretch a couple of kids played noisily in the aisle and a girl two rows Back was having a conversation on How the cleaners had shrunk her sweater someone groped to a seat balancing a Taco and a 62-ounce Cylinder of cola and ice. Another Man shouted up the aisle Loretta while you re up get me some milk  the Man next to me was seated so close that his Musk Cologne put me in a coma. Any More intimacy and we would have made plans to pick out a dish pattern for this i shaved my legs and put on Eye makeup. The problem is that no one stuck to the script the original scenario was that television would destroy the movie Industry. Television would be so great and so convenient that families would slay Home and Bond together around the screen someone misread kids they Don t care if Honey i shrunk the kids looks like a piece of lint on the screen they will still drive 12 Miles and wait in line to see it. I personally know children who entered one of those movie complexes when they were preschoolers and did t come out until puberty. There s a trend Here somewhere bul i can t figure out what it is or Why. As television screens get bigger movie screens get smaller. If the trend continues we May be showing the Brady Bunch baking cookies at your local theater and Lawrence of Arabia on Home to screens that Span the living room dining room and Kitchen. Maybe family life will Center around these Small Cinema closets where the same people will meet week after week and get to know one another. Intimacy will spark relationships remember me i sat next to you Al Caddy Shack and we laughed at the same  babies will be born. I was two rows behind you when you went into labor during fatal  we re almost to that Point. When you Call the theater and ask what time the feature begins Don t be surprised if the manager answers. It starts in five minutes. If you re late Don t expect me to fill you in on the beginning saturday january 20, 1990 the stars and stripes c 19a9eimi bom Beck Page 17