European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 15, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Arm Landers dear Ann Landers As the Well spouse of a chronically ill husband. I am angered by the letter from your Friend and former col league. He loves caring for his disabled spouse 24 hours a Day and says 24 hours is not enough. I would like to know what he does for her. Docs he Drain her Catheter bag twice a Day. Clean it when it leaks change it every eight to 10 Days docs he Bathe her in bed. As Best he can. Because it s so difficult to get her into a Bali or Shower docs he have to dress her diaper her. Lift her from the bed to the wheelchair to the electric lounge chair and do the same at night docs he feed her and get no response As to whether it s tasty hot. Eold. Salty raw or inedible docs she say thank you i could go on and on because i d like to know what that wonderful Man is dealing with. I am the principal care giver of a 55-year-old former Pilot. Bob was Lucky. He flew for United airlines and their insurance and health coverage policy is terrific. Bob was stricken with multiple sclerosis and is now totally disabled. His four daughters do not remember How tall he is or what his laugh sounded like. He has Given up All decision making and does t care if it is Day or night. He answers in monosyllables or not at All. He shows no emotion is capt  when he has Trou ble with his talking books. I forgot to ill you that he is legally Blind i Haven t even mentioned sex because that ended with the Onset of the disease and i be for gotten what it is. Does your Friend and former colleague have help or is he doing it alone most of the care givers i know do it alone because Home health care is terribly expensive and not covered by medicare or private insurance. I read the Book mainstay by Maggie Strong pub Lisher Little. Brown and contacted the author. I then started a support group Here in town and five to seven of us get together every month to enjoy our triumphs and share our tragedies. Your Friend suggests that the couple go a a where together including support groups. My husband leaves the House Only for medical treatment and is confused in crowds. Would your Friend have me stay Home too i was asked to serve on the Board of the newly formed Well spouse foundation. This gave me an Opportunity to spend a weekend with other spouses from All on or the United Stales. I now know that i am not alone and that there Are others who arc much worse off. The pan of your former colleague s letter that stopped me cold was when he said he so enjoyed his disabled wife s company that 24 hours was not  let me ill you. Ann. 24 hours is More than enough. Please encourage other Well spouses who May not feel As blessed As your Friend to read mainstay and have them Contact the Well spouse foundation. . Box 58022. Pittsburgh. A. 15209. Yes. Ann. You May use my name. Midge Tuxill. Geneva. . Dear Midge your Kurter Coull Haw been written Only by someone who is living through he experience. You really Laid it on he line and i thank you. Our Telephone conversation was just like your letter realistic no whining simply addressing he problems. Hundreds of Well spouses wrote to me and i am filled with admiration for All those people who like you tackle their herculean jobs Day after Day with not a shred of self pit. I know you Don t want to hear this but you Are heroes each and every one. All i can say is god bless you and May he gite you the strength to carry on. Id creators Syndicate letters he wants men s hair style Reg revised the air Force has modernized in Many ways since its inception from the updating of the uniform to the opening of Many career Fields to its female Mem Bers la seems the one thing left behind however is the men s hair Standard which has t changed since 1947 when it was the accepted Standard for men s hair in the civilian society. Over time society s standards have changed making longer hair styles acceptable for men. The air Force has also changed which allows the male hair Standard to modernize As Well. This change has been brought about by the air Force career Fields becoming More specialized and safety oriented. For example those in administrative positions arc not affected by the safety considerations applied to those who work around machinery and constantly moving parts. There arc Many Fields in which male and female members work Side by Side and yet the longer hair Standard for women is not deemed to inter Fere with their performance and it would not interfere with the performance of the male. This condition most certainly supports the ability to create a More equivalent hair Standard. A greater flexibility in the men s hair Standard could enhance the morale and self esteem of its members by allowing them a greater Choice in their personal appearance. Those who feel comfortable with the current Standard could maintain it while those who feel they look better with a longer hair style could now choose Between the two to suite their preference. Let me emphasize hat i am not suggesting total abandonment of the male hair Standard hut rather a modernization of it to bettor fit today s standards and younger air Force. In my opinion a modern Standard would allow men s hair to be .1 inches in bulk touch the car not to be tapered unless personally desired and would not allow hair to be dirty hair to be of an unnatural color Fadish sly los such As braids or mohawks hair to contain excessive amount of grooming aids that remain visible any foreign object it is my belief a Standard similar to this would allow males a greater Freedom in personal slyly and yet re main conservative in today s society. Modernizing the male hair Standard could further enhance morale and self esteem and help to keep qual Ity members. It would also provide a greater equivalency Between male and female members at Little or no Cost to the govern Mcnol. Sgt. Robert l. Anchors Avianna Italy writer feels pan am should share blame this is in response to the recent letter with regards to the decision reached by the judge in not granting the lawsuit filed by the relatives of those killed on pan am flight 103. The writer agreed with the decision As Ren dered by the court. I therefore feel the need to present an opposing View. While we All agree that the blame for the bombing lies with the terror Isle we must also conclude that pan am must share some responsibility in Light of the fact that they pan am were forewarned of a potential bombing on said flight. Thus the passengers should have been warned and Given the Opportunity to change flights cancel or continue on As planned. Since tic passengers were not told of he bomb threat pan am had received i am of the opinion pan am should be held both responsible and liable for the consequences 259 people who lost their lives. Had they pan am taken those threats seriously As All airlines arc doing today and passed that information onto the prospective passengers. I feel certain the number of lives taken that fateful Day would not have been As High As it was. La is with this in mind i say adamantly that those relatives who filed that lawsuit deserve restitution even if thai restitution is but monetary in Alue. I Hope they will persevere and Lake the lawsuit to i higher court. Spec. Patricia Grunt fam Kauri West Germany Reader suggests Way to shorten Gas lines i would like to address the problem of Long lines at the cafes Gas stations. I have lived in West Germany for 14 years and have noticed this procedure again and again most Drivers pull into the Gas pumps fill up their cars and then fill out and sign their Gas coupons. This normally does t take Long but adds to the waiting time for every Cus Tomer. My simple recommendation is for everyone to please take their new coupons and sign them before going into line at the Gas station. This would Speed up the lines. Yes. I am aware of what could happen if the Cou Pons were lost the person who found them could turn them in to cafes Good Luck or use them be cause Esso Gas stations do not have signature cards on everyone in Germany. In the old Days the attendant would Check your coupons for License verification but now the attendant never comes out from behind the counter and could t care less Aboul your car License number. If i Ever lose my coupons inc finder can enjoy them and take a trip on me but Don t wait for that to happen As i have never lost my Gas coupons in 14 years. Despite the Small risks i think pc signed Cou Pons would Benefit everyone in the Long run. Delbert j. Parkinson kaisers Lauvern West Germany pen pals i would like pen pals Botwyn the Ages 1810 20 years old Lam 16 years of. My hobbies include listening to mus care Casro. 5 in 089.690-1800 Mcgrain Cavern Sou Heo Apo Lylor bulk 09407, Tel. Telephone ets 440-7320 or civil no Funberg. Germany vice Crawley. Building 21. Wet Lam o Darby Cavern Apo 09696. Telephone ets 460-7256 or or Arian 0911 -712563. Stuttgart Germany Joseph Ovren. Bui Dmn 4303. Room 201. Wai Lac Barracks mewing address co Vii corps Fin. Group. Ftp � to Wallace Barracks. Apo 09154 Telephone ets 420-7179 or civilian 0711-542571. Wurzburg Germany Jorr Millar. Room 110. River by Immy Apo 09036 Telephone ets 3&im704 or civilian 0931.71569 Brussels. Belgium David Tarrant. International press Center. 1 Boulevard Charlemagne. Bom 45. 1041 Brussels Telephone civilian 003221 238-0967. Mediterranean j King cruder and Gary Miller. Nap a. Italy. Mesa to 56. Fpo 09521, Telephone Auto on 625-1110 to. 4880 of Civ an 0039-61-7624049 new York City room 401. 252 seventh Aye. New York loot Tele phone 212 620 3333 United kingdom Dave Mienl. Moulding 436 Cess us Raf Mii Aenita f. Apo 09127. Telephone Auto on 2382226 or civilian m36-112j28 Washington. . Chuck Vinch. William Baitman. Janet Howells Tierney. Oast a. The Pentagon. Room 2e75 p o to 46095. Washington. 0 c 20050-6095. Telephone 202-697-6695. Tel fax 202-693-6366. Education Jimi Jones. 06155-601222 or ets 348-5741. Medicine Janet d Agostoo. 06155-601230or ets 348-5741. Business Randy Mcclain. 06155-601326 or ets 348-5741 circulation offices Germany Berlin civilian 8331846. Ets 332-4412. Bremerhaven. Civil Ian 0471-85168. Ets 342-8119 ahem Mam a. Crethan 069-692050 or 692565. Ets 330-6025 or 7103. Teen 412712 kaisers Lauvurn. Or Blun os31 57071 or 57079. Ets 489.7100. Munich civilian 089-8901503 or 6901504. Ets 440-6556. Tel Efam 089-699-i600. Nurnberg. Civilian 0911-712558. Ets 460-7001 slut Mart. Mean 0711-5413743. Ets 420-7175 Greece Athens civilian 9923390. Italy Vicenia. Civilian 0444-515356. Ets 634-7545. Tel fax 0444-300 641 Spain Madrid. Ets m5-m07, civilian and Tel fax 00341 -6561465 Turkey Istanbul Mun 964372, us 28174 sans to. United kingdom civilian Newbury 0635-44768. Auto on 266-3209