European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 27, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Arm Landers dear Ann Landers i Hope you can find room to print one More letter from a Reader who is the principal caretaker of a disabled Penon. My Story is quite different from the one you ran recently. The Man who wrote said his wife has had multiple sclerosis for Many years but she is a Delight and he loves being with her 24 hours a Day. That Man s wife must be remarkable. My husband has had is for 10 years and he is not a  is mean and abusive. The Man has thrown things at me in fits of rage once a chair and has damaged several pieces of furniture with his Cane. He refuses to accept counselling or attend a support group meeting. He blames the doctors because they can t make him Well. He is demanding bitter and hostile. I Don t claim to know All the answers Ann. But i know that 1 did not cause my husband s is i can t cure it and neither can 1 control his responses to this crippling illness. Since i cannot walk in another person s shoes i judge no one. I ask my family friends and acquaintances not to judge me when they icam that i have decided to move out because i can no longer live with this  to heal in Michigan dear Michigan thanks for a letter that must have been extremely difficult to write. I m sure you lionized for a Long time before you nude that decision. No one has the right to criticize you. Good Luck to you both. Dear Ann Landers recently you printed a letter from a disgruntled godparent who was fed up sending checks and buying birthday and Christmas gifts with never a word of thanks or appreciation. Go parenting carries with it the responsibility to nourish a child s life in a special Way. Checks and gifts Are not important. What counts is to spend time wit the child and help him or her to grow emotionally intellectually and spiritually. The godparent promises to stand in for or beside the biological parents at events that Are important to the child. This is what being a godparent is All  a. Minneapolis dear Edith Well said. 1 wish however that you would have commented on the writer s complaint. Apparently you have a godchild who it responsive and appreciates your efforts. What about those who get no thanks for checks and gifts should they continue to Send them this is the question i get so often from my readers. I say absolutely  Ann Landers i have read your column for Many years and have Learned a lot from it. There is one question i have never seen in print. It is not uncommon. I Hope you will publish this letter and respond. A prominent couple in town announced that they Are having a big party to celebrate their 40 years of marriage. It is Well known that the husband has been earning on a Long term affair with a married woman. Two of her Chil Dren resemble this Man so closely that one need Only look at them to know that he is the father. Why would anybody in a situation like this put on an ostentatious anniversary Celebration when i asked my husband this question he told me to keep my Mouth shut because it was none of my  in Illinois dear Illinois your husband sounds like a very smart Man. I have racked my brain and am unable to improve on his answer. South Africa a reminder world is not free i have started this Over several times trying to and the right words to say what is in my heart but there does t seem to be any right words. So i think i will just Tell you How i feel. In my heart there is such an ache with such an intensity that i can t even begin to describe it. This ache i think has been there for a very Long time if not All along. Before it was a Dull Pang that surfaced every now and then when things seemed to get 190 hard. But now it has surfaced and refuses to subside. I never wondered what that ache was in the past. I just accepted it As a part of life. I did t bother to ask myself Why it existed inside me or what was its cause. And for that i am truly ashamed. It was not until i became aware of the situation in South Africa that i took the time to question what was inside of me. It was not until i saw Blacks being beaten and murdered for the Sake of Freedom did i finally realize what that pain was inside of my heart. That feeling i think is one of the worst evils and one of the worst sins a Black person or a person of any race can have. That evil and that sin have a name. It is simply called complacency. It seems in itself that complacency is not wrong. It is though when it causes one to no longer seek change but to accept society at face value. It is when it causes one to Only look on As one s Sisters and Brothers Are being torn from their families and Homes because they Are fighting for the rights that Are god Given. It is when it causes one to stand by and watch As men women and children Are slaughtered in the streets for asking to just be treated As human beings. And it is when one sees such horrors and cries someone should do something yet when asked responds what can i do i am Only one  i say complacency in such a context is one of the greatest evils known to Mankind. So Many of us in America have Given in to this evil. I am not just referring to Blacks but to Whites As Well. Blacks say we no longer have to sit at the Back of the bus therefore we Are  Blacks say no longer Arete not allowed to eat with White people therefore we Are  Blacks say no longer must we be Segre gated therefore we Are  and the Whites say no longer must they sit in the Back of the bus. They Are  no longer arc they not allowed to eat with us. They Are  no longer Are they segregated from us. They arc  and we both live and we both accept. Yet we both Are not free. We in America Are still slaves Blacks and Whites alike maybe More so today than in the past. We Are slaves because of complacency. Blacks because we accept the prejudices and bigotry that exist in our society Whites because they deny that the prejudices and bigotry still exist. When we Are both confronted with this fact we get angry and say we know that prejudice still exists but it s not As bad As it used to  to that i say the fact that prejudice still exists binds us in chains. And Whites get angry and say what Are we supposed to do we do All we can. We Don t make racial  try to be understanding. We sympathize with the wrongs that Blacks have experienced. To that i say Are you sure that you have done All that you can you May not make racial comments but do you Tell someone who does that what they say offends you. Be they White or Black How can you be understanding when you Don t take the time to learn about Black culture How can you sympathize without having experienced being Black yourself Blacks get angry and say what Are we supposed to do we do All we can. They Don t want to hear what we have to say. They Don t  to them i say Are we not prejudiced also we must try to understand and we must listen. We must Tell our Story so it can be understood by others. We must make our own chances and opportunities for we can do anything if we put our minds to it. To Blacks and Whites alike i say we should never give up on one another but educate and be educated. Though the hate May not exist As overtly As it did in the past it still exists. And it is a disease that runs rampant in our society. It is a disease that will pervade the generations to come unless we do something to Stop it. What is happening to All of our Brothers and Sisters in South Africa should stand to remind All of us that no place and no one in this world is truly free. Not until every Man woman and child is accepted for what is in their heart and soul instead of the shape and color of the vessel in which their heart and soul is contained will we All be Able to say we Are truly free. Senior airman Tracy m. Smith Ramstein a West Germany arts praised for football broadcasts i would like to take this Opportunity to thank arts for its Fine coverage of the football season. This is the first time that i have seen a pre season game because i have never been in the United states when the football season started. I realize that a tape delayed game does not please everyone especially if they know the score but i will take them anyway that i can get them tape delayed or at any time morning. Noon or night. It was great really great. Some people do not realize some of the games that we see Over Here we could not see in the states unless we had Cable and were paying for it. Walter Ford Stuttgart West Germany pen pals i to 21 years old and enjoy raiding writing pen minds gang on outings and watching mov  Maaleah Junhav c. Osias 94 Intano Silliman Avenue Duma Guette cry 6200. Philippines my Hob Tea Ere Reading and collecting Stamps i am 20 years old. Ruby Sagarino Leon Kiviat , Negros Oriental Philippines i am 20 years old my Hobbes Are Reading cooking end collecting postcard Chenna c. Austere Lopez Jaena St. Bacong. Negro one Nul typical teen army Oral background would like to correspond with teen agers. 11-16 i enjoy skating Reading travelling imm als and dry veg my Parent crazy Christine of Hub 4/7 Ada Box 44$  who i am 23 years old Juntti Suer Maxim big. Baim Rauak St Chou City. Pm Pines my hobbies Are Reading sports going to mov ies and communicating with  War Mington 7mckenziedr . Unstead p 0 Jamaica. West indies one of my Hobby is to make Orienda from abroad through letter writing Victoria Mecca Alfo tops i Bottom Loleng aspect. Dumaguet cry Negros Oriental Philippines european Idmon col. Volhl i. To Numo sap commander editor in Chlell. Col. Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander cd Tor m chief Marie Kominicki Mer Proctor Jeanc b. Meter Mott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authored unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas contents of the Sun and stripes Ere not Necea Sandy the official views of or endorsed by. It us.  department of defense or me u s european commar tha a Patranc of advertising in hit publication. Including inserts or supplements. Doea not constitute endorsement by the department of de Fence or the stars and stripes of the product or services adv embed. Everything advertised m this publication anal be made available Tor Purchase use or patronage without regard b race color religion sen. 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