European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 22, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Tuesday May 22, 1990 the stars and stripes a Page 11 letters a length of overseas Tours policy discuss Dann Landers dear Ann Landers second marriage Money matters is a subject i have not seen discussed in your column. Who pays what please give us a second time a rounders some guidance. We Are retired and our children live in other states. When we married five years ago my wife had very Little. We be been living in my House and i pay for All the groceries utilities and insurance policies. I also pay our taxes. In the last three years my wife has inherited about $1 million in Cash stocks and real estate. She still pays Only for her personal items and the Upkeep of her car. We recently went on a three week vacation and she did not offer to pick up the Check for a single meal. When i mentioned this to her she said she was raised to believe that the husband pays for everything. I found this interesting because she and her first husband both worked and shared expenses. When we drove to a City 100 Miles away to arrange with her broker to give $10,000 in Stock to each of her grandchildren totalling $80,000she never offered to buy the Gas. I done to want to look like a cheapskate but it seems to me that when a Man and his wife both have an income they should share expenses. Am i wrong a Mississippi dear m your wife has inherited $1 million and you re complaining because she did no to pick up a Check in a restaurant and neglected to offer to pay for Gas on a trip Good grief mister whereas your head you two should sit Down with a lawyer and a financial adviser and work out a new arrangement. Your millionaire wife should pay half of the household expenses All her own taxes and her own Way when you take trips together. It is unfair that you deplete your funds while she is sitting on All that Money. If you two care about one another this should not create any problems. After All you married her when she did no to have any Money. Now its her turn to be generous. Dear Ann Landers in 1977,1 was accused of stealing a flute from the band room. It belonged to a girl i thought was my Friend. I was the first person questioned because we had had an argument and she thought i took her flute to be mean. We turned the band room upside Down but the flute was nowhere to be found. I was sent to the principals office and questioned by the guidance Counselor. Later that Day a policeman came to our Home and asked my parents if they knew anything about the missing instrument. It was humiliating. Two weeks later the flute was found in a Pawn shop. When the band Leader told me about it he had trouble looking me in the Eye. I think he should have apologized in front of everyone because he had Given the impression that i was guilty. I am 29 years old and this hurts me As if it happened yesterday. It would help to see this letter in print. A ., Lake Wales Fla. Dear  If you have been nursing a grudge for 13 years you need More than seeing the letter in print. I agree that the band Leader should have apologized before the entire group but you can to  sawdust. Please get some counselling. I suspect this incident is covering up a lot of other things in your life that you need to talk about. Get going and Good Luck. Gem of the Day a when a Man gets too big for his britches he usually needs a bigger hat As Well. C creators Syndicate currently department of the army policy is that single second term career status soldiers Are assigned to Usa eur for a three year tour rather than two years As was policy prior to 1988. The majority of the affected soldiers Are single Young cos in their Early to Middle 20s. They Are assigned to Europe for the same three year tour As a married Soldier who elects to serve in Europe accompanied by his or her family. The big difference is that the single Soldier must serve that same tour without the Benefit of the emotional support system provided by an accompanying family. Additionally the married Soldier has the option of serving the unaccompanied two year tour if he so elects. What option does the single career status Soldier have simply because a Young Soldier does not choose to marry and have children does no to mean that he or she does no to have family and friends Back Home from whom he or she would derive the same emotional support and companionship that All of us need. I feel that All single soldiers whether first term or otherwise should be assigned to Europe for a two year tour. After All if their units provide them with a positive working environment and their military communities with an Opportunity to enjoy their off duty time Many such soldiers might extend their Tours anyway. At any rate these soldiers should at least have the same option As married personnel. I recently heard a Rumor that a policy May revert Back to a two year tour for such soldiers. I can think of a number of Good reasons for such a change. First it would facilitate the army a reduction of its forces in Europe in a Way that would be relatively painless to affected units by simply curtailing the Tours of what must amount to several thousand personnel in Europe. Second i believe such a reversal of policy would create a positive Impact on morale. Although i referred to this As a a Trumor a one Soldier has already been affected by receiving orders after serving Only two years of a three year tour. Attempts to verify this Rumor have met with negative results. Is this currently under consideration if so will it be done conditionally or will it apply to All single career status soldiers if in fact the new policy is implemented when can we expect it to take effect a Vincent m. Davis Mainz West Germany editors note a col. Anthony Divalentin chief militant personnel and plans division office at the Deputy chief of staff personnel he Usa eur replies the Basic tour lengths for Central Europe Are 36 months for an accompanied tour including single careerists and 24 months for the unaccompanied or a fall others tour. The Only tour length change which occurred Over the past 10 years was in 1987 when the tour length for first term soldiers increased from 18 to 24 months. Past studies have shown a two year tour for single career soldiers would not be As effective in terms of both readiness and resources As the current three year tour. The two year tour for unaccompanied married soldiers recognizes the hardship and emotional Strain placed on a family when the spouse Parent is not present for an extended period. There is also a resource costs Trade off since the overseas command does not have to provide family housing education medical and other support when a family which is entitled to that support does not travel to and live in Europe with the sponsor. Under current policies married soldiers on an unaccompanied tour serve two years in most of Usa eur. There Are Many reasons Why these soldiers come to Europe without their family. First they May not have had a Choice because quarters housing were not available and their request for family travel was disapproved. Or the family May have special medical or educational needs which could not be met in Usa eur. Or As the writer suggests it is possible some married soldiers left their family behind so they would Only Nave to serve a two year tour. Notwithstanding the above the two year tour for unaccompanied soldiers is being reviewed and staffed by the Usa eur office of the Deputy chief of staff personnel. If the results of that review warrant a recommendation to change tour lengths . Require All career soldiers to serve a three year tour regardless of marital status and whether unaccompanied by Choice would have to be forwarded to department of the army. Since the tour length for a particular overseas area is the same for All services a recommendation from department of the army to change the tour length would go to department of defense for a decision. Without knowing the particulars of the Case it is not possible to provide a specific response to the situation described by the writer As a  a prejudices against vietnamese criticized i wish to respond to a recent letter in which the writer objected to the burial of two vietnamese in Arlington National cemetery. I did not see the original article and do not know Why they were buried there. I do know however that there Are provisions and exceptions to the usual requirements of being an american Veteran or distinguished citizen. What i take Issue with is the writers twisted prejudice against All vietnamese. I also am a Vietnam vet two tour Sand i was associated with fought with and was saved by some very courageous vietnamese soldiers and civilians. The writer is obviously forgetting that while we lost 50,000 american lives in that unfortunate losing Effort there were about 10 times that Many vietnamese lives lost in their struggle for Freedom. Since that time Many vietnamese have emigrated to the United states and have become outstanding citizens and Active participants in business and society. They also have a much higher record of voting in elections than any other minority group because they value their Freedom and rights and responsibilities More than do most american citizens. We non vietnamese americans could learn Many lessons from them. To say that All vietnamese Are bad As evidenced by the statement a you  turn your Back on any of them a is the same kind of foolish generality As saying that in world War ii All germans were nazis or that All Blacks Whites arc bad or that All Young people arc drug addicts. That is the Type of mentality that Only serves to Breed hatred and distrust among All people throughout the world. A name withheld m6hringen, West Germany european edition col. Gene e. Townsend Usan commander editor in chief it. Col. Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. 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