European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 13, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes a Page 11anri Landers dear Ann Landers my husband and i Are a typical upper Middle class couple. A a Bruce holds a responsible managerial position in a Large corporation. We own a Lovely Home and have two children two cars and a dog. We Are Well known and respected in the Community. I do my share of Volunteer work and we Are both Active in our Church. Sounds like the american dream Well not quite. My husband is infected with the aids virus. A few years ago Bruce had major surgery that required a blood transfusion. Recently we were informed that the blood May have been tainted. Our worst fears were confirmed last week when Bruce tested positive. We live in constant fear of the future. What will happen if someone who works in the lab or the doctors office leaks this information what will happen when Bruce gets sick and we can no longer hide the truth How will our friends and neighbors react what about our Brothers Sisters aunts uncles and cousins will they stand by us a a new kind of hell in new York dear new York we have Learned a great Deal about aids since the virus was discovered in the Early 1980s. More than a million and a half people in the United states Are infected at this time and in spite of massive efforts to educate people about this dreaded disease ignorance still abounds. For answers to your specific medical questions you and Bruce should have a session with his physician. The pharmaceutical Industry has developed some excellent drugs that have made it possible for aids sufferers to be functional for Many More months and even years. Your husbands illness May not be obvious for a Long time. As for How your family friends and members of the Community will react if the word gets out lets Hope they will be compassionate and kind. Ryan White that courageous and winning lad from Indiana taught millions of people that aids is just another illness. May the example he set be a Model for All of us. Dear Ann Landers i did no to care much for a recent a Gem of the Day sent in by Cindy Michaelson of Evanston 111. To refresh your memory it went like this a it will be a great Day when our schools have All the Money they need and the air Force has to hold a bake Sale to buy another  done to you realize Ann a Strong military is vital to the survival of our nation the Best Way to prevent another War is to be prepared for it. Costly yes but in the Long run a lot cheaper than being taken by Surprise. A Beaumont Texas dear Texas a Strong military is indeed vital to our nations Security but As communism collapses around the world both republicans and democrats have called for defense department cuts. However the hard work dedication and sacrifices made by the men and women in the armed services deserve a Salute. They Are the Best in the world and they helped end the cold War. That Gem of the Day was a Call for education and peace. How about a a a Gem in Praise of the individuals who have been willing to Lay Down their lives for our Freedom a the men and women of the army Navy air Force and marines creators Syndicate letters Landers responds to question on suicide i feel that it is my civic duty to address an answer recently Given to a Reader in Ann Landers column. The writer asked Ann Landers for advice on addressing the relatives of suicide victims. Ann says a it is always appropriate to express sympathy when a family member Dies. When the death is suicide one does not mention it of  of course sorry but i beg to differ. As a matter of fact it is fully recognized by psychologists that one of the contributing factors to our runaway suicide rate is the continuing desire to a sweep it under the  with problems of this proportion ignoring them is the worst possible solution. Imagine walking into a room where everyone is mourning and discussing your son who had committed suicide. Imagine them All shutting up the minute you walk through the door. It would make you both uncomfortable and outcast. Many a time i have read How family members of suicides Are totally confused and frightened by those awful quiet stares from friends. I understand that Ann was trying to save the poor Mother from embarrassment but setting aside embarrassing feelings and facing reality is the Only real Start to recovery. At times like these silence can be devastating. People need support not denial a Friend to talk to not one that chooses to a not mention it of  Peoples silence can be seen As blame silence and incrimination often go hand in Han which leads to the guilt that nearly always grows in both friends and families of suicide victims. Years ago spouse abuse was swept under the carpet and sadly still is to a lesser extent today at least we re working on it. People thought it Best to a not mention it of  that led us nowhere As denial always does. Ignoring something like suicide is nothing More than denial. It is important to realize that advice columnists Are far from infallible. I suppose their advice does no to matter much when it comes to where to put the salad Fork but in other cases such As this it really can matter. Ann Landers should learn to to be More responsible. People ask her questions because they think she knows the answers even if she does no to. I done to think a common sense answer is too much to expect from her. A Michael Wade Wiesbaden West Germany editors note a Ann Landers replies in a afraid my leaving out four words gave my response an entirely different meaning than i intended. I should have said a when the death is suicide one does not mention the cause of  ignoring the family of a suicide would be utterly wrong. I have always encouraged my readers to be totally supportive of the suicides survivors. They need it More than others. In a sorry that my response sent the wrong message. Thanks for calling this to my attention. A rites can to Force respect Reader says May i express a differing View on respect for Flag and or Retreat ceremonies during my military career now Long Over Learned to differentiate Between respect for Flag and country and respect for the ceremonies surrounding them. For my last three years in service i was a projectionist and later manager of the Post theater. People come to the theater to relax. They bring their families buy their Popcorn and drinks and head into the auditorium. They get the kids settled at least partially which is in itself not easy Settle themselves Down with their Popcorn on their laps and their drinks in their hands. And what happens the a Star spangled banners is played on the screen and everybody has to stand up disrupting whatever order has thus far been achieved. Popcorn drinks Candy bars and even clothing wind up on the floor. Spilled drinks Are a terror for cleaning Crews the resettling especially of Small children then takes up the first Quarter hour of the show and is made additionally difficult by having to be performed in the dark. Ever since that Job i have opposed the playing of the National Anthem in military Heaters. Its simply not the proper place for it. It creates disruption not respect. Respect for the Flag is great but is it necessary to i am 20 years old and am a seventh Day adventist. A Mary Jane Patoy co Morle mais merchandising Public Market Polo Molok South cot Abato 9504 Philippines i am 16 years old and my interests Are meeting people learning about other countries and their traditions corresponding and travelling. A Deborah Ann Christie nutshell dist., Evanton . St. Catherine Jamaica West indies my favorite pop group is new kids on the Block. I am 13 years old and my hobbies Are swimming running and collecting furry animals. Halt All traffic on the Post to show it is it really necessary to get out of the car and Salute especially in inclement weather Back to the theater for a moment. I have no objection to a trailer informing the audience that smoking is not permitted. But again people go to the theater to relax and in some instances to forget for awhile that they re in the military. The a no smoking trailer is sufficient. It does not need the tag a by order of the Community commander a or anything similar. My experience is that this is More conducive to resentment than to safety. The Point Here is that respect and Honor Are not things that can be directed or ordered. They flow from Heartfelt feelings and Are not a matter for authoritative treatment. 1 done to believe that a respect by order is anything we really want to have in a truly free Community. I still get a Lump in my Throat when i see the Flag flying defiantly against a Blue sky and i have never lost the idea that the United states is a Leader among the nations of the world with As a Wise judge in Honolulu once told me a the Best system yet devised by Man a but i have very Little respect for demeaning ceremonies that do More to discourage that respect than to enhance it. A name and location withheld a april Harris 9 Broadwaters Road Darlaston Wednesbury West midlands. Ws10 7qp England i am 21 years old and my hobbies Are singing sewing baking and typing. A Sandra Lawrence Harmony Hall Claremont . St. Ann Jamaica my hobbies Are music movies sports and nature. I would prefer to write Only in English. Only i _ a Tad Tadeusz Sierszulski Glogowska 100 m7, Poznan Poland european edition col. Gene e. Townsend Usan commander editor in chief it. Col. Suzanne l. Phillips sap Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager ,1it.news3aper san authorized unofficial publication for members of Ine military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. He appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or fqn<po0mt?,does not constitute endorsement by the department of de sense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised Furrh chg advertised in this publication shall be made available for e �6, use or patronage without regard to race color religion sex a a i Engin age marital status physical Handicap political affiliation or any Otner non Merit Factor of the purchaser user or Patron. Main office switchboard 06155-6010. Ets 348-5741 or 5823. Extant depar1men,s dial 06155-601 plus Extension or ets 348-8 plus the news ext. 237,255,282, 226,326. Sports ext. 225, 269,263, 332,321, 221. Features ext. 230, 245 or 341. Letters to editor ext. 208. Education Jami Jones ext. 226. Medicine Janet do Agostino ext. 230. Business Randy Mcclain. Ext. 326. Advertising display ext. 247 or 309. Classified ext. 349. Telex 419-332. Tel fax 06155-601376. Mailing address Apo 09211-4211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, West Germany. News bureaus Bremerhaven Germany Ken Clauson building 103, Carl Schurz Cavern Apo 09069 Telephone ets 342-8659 or civilian 0471-88782. Kaiserslautern Germany Deedee Arrington Doke Peggy Davidson Lynda Davidson building 2899, Pulaski Barracks Apo 09227-3717 Telephone civilian 0631-52104. Munich Germany Steve Taylor building 16. C stairwell 2nd floor Mcgraw Cavern. Soured Apo u9407 Telephone ets 440-7320 or civilian 089-690-1800. Nornberg Germany Vince Crawley Effie Bathen building 21, William o. Darby Cavern Apo 09696 Telephone ets 460-7256 or civilian 0911-712563. Stuttgart Germany Joseph Owen building 4303, room 201. Wallace Barracks. Mailing address co Vii corps Fin. Group of amp to Wallace Barracks Apo 09154 Telephone ets 420-7179 or civilian 0711 -542571. Wurzburg Germany John Millar room 110, River building Apo 09036 Telephone ets 350-4704 or civilian 0931-71569. Brussels Belgium David Tarrant International press Center 1 Boulevard Charlemagne Box 45, 1041 Brussels Telephone civilian 00322 238-0967 Tel fax 00322 2309088. Mediterranean j. King Cruger Gary Miller and Candida Sansone Naples. Italy Asa Box 56, Fpo 09521 Telephone Auto on 625-1110 ext. 4880 or civilian 0039-81-7624049. New York City room 401, 252 seventh ave., new York 10001 Telephone 212-620-3333. United kingdom Dave Diehl Amy Geiszler Jones building 436 Cess us Raf Mildenhall Apo 09127 Telephone Auto on 238-2226 or civilian 0638-512226. Washington . William Bartman Janet Howells Tierney Oast a the Pentagon room 2e756, . Box 46095, Washington . 20050-6095 Telephone 202-697-6695 Tel fax 202-693-6366. Circulation offices Germany Berlin civilian 8331846, ets 332-4412 Bremerhaven civilian 0471-85168, ets 342-8119 Rhein main a civilian 069-692050 or 692565, ets 330-6025 or 7103, telex 412712 Kaiserslautern civilian 063157070 or 57079, ets 489-7100 Munich civilian 089-6901503 or 6901504, ets 440-6556, Tel fax 089-699-1606 Nurnberg civilian 0911-712558, ets 460-7001 Stuttgart civilian 0711-546743, ets 420-7175. Greece Athens civilian 9923390. Italy Vicenza civilian 0444-515358, ets 634-7545, Tel fax 0444-300641. Spain Madrid ets 665-5807, civilian and Tel fax 00341 -65614g5. Turkey Istanbul civilian 664372, Tel fax 0090-1-1664372 United kingdom civilian Newbury 0635-44768, Auto on 266-3209