European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 27, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Friday july 27, 1990 the stars and stripes Page 11 letters a writer lauds a seasoned citizens group i would like to relate our family a personal Success Story with the Heidelberg a seasoned citizens a group one of several army Community service outreach pro Grams. This is a group of senior a a seasoned citizens from the Heidelberg area that meets regularly in order to provide Friendship support and a sense of Community to its members. My father died very unexpectedly last december in Houston. Following All the arrangements my Mother returned with me to Germany to live with my wife and i and our two sons. Within the Span of three weeks she had lost her husband of nearly 35 years put her Home of Over 20 years up for Sale put most of her belongings in storage. She suddenly was to a foreign country for the very first time. Here was a a a seasoned citizen now faced with a drastic change in lifestyle in totally unfamiliar surroundings feeling very confused sad and isolated. After some encouragement from us and from Karen Riddle the Heidelberg acs outreach worker for the seasoned citizens group my Mother finally ventured out to one of the regular thursday meetings. To put it simply her participation in this group has put new meaning into her life. She has discovered a warm and understanding group of new friends Many with similar experiences to those she had recently faced. This is a very Active group with regular meet Ings numerous trips for the members and Many activities of Benefit to the entire Community. My Mother feels very accepted and understood and is a Quot a Quot. A Gro a a _. Husband her new friends have helped her better Deal has developed some very Good friendships through this it roup. Although she is still grieving the loss of her with her feelings of sadness and loneliness. I would like to thank All members of the Heidelberg seasoned citizens group and especially Karen Riddle for being of such help to my Mother. I strongly encourage anyone feeling sad lonely or isolated or family members of those who do to seek out similar organizations within your own communities for assistance. You will be amazed to discover that you Are not alone a Max l. Shadle Heidelberg Germany a writer feels Congress should set example in a glad to see Congress is asking defense Secretary Dick Cheney a opinion on the Impact of a 25 percent reduction in the military Force Structure. Its noteworthy that our congressional leadership is working closely a with the military so our nation can get maximum Benefit from the a peace dividend while maintaining a capable military. In order to create a proper atmosphere for the expected reduction in the military a budget and Force Structure our congressional leadership should set the Ewo per example. Here Are a few suggestions that our legislative leaders can use to set that example a trim the congressional budget by 25 percent. If Congress can reduce the defense budget by 25 percent they can certainly Cut their budget too. With peace breaking out worldwide i foresee a reduced role for Congress allowing them to absorb the Cut. Of particular interest is their franking privilege free mail. By reducing mailings we  have to Cut Down Trees to produce paper needed to print the letters. With environmental issues becoming so important this idea will be extremely popular with the voters. A reduce congressional inquiries submitted to the defense department by 25 percent. With a reduced threat and smaller military Congress can accomplish this easily. In turn the Pentagon would not need a corresponding percentage of its staff which answers inquiries from Congress. This released staff could easily Man a battalion. A lastly i recommend Congress reduce its fac finding trips by 25 percent. Since congressmen use military aircraft for Many of these trips and fewer military planes will be available due to cuts this idea makes sense. We re facing rising deficits and budget cuts so weighty problems in Hawaii Bora Bora and Tahiti will just Nave to wait. I am confident that our congressional leadership will do the right thing and show us a shining example to follow. After All i voted them in because of their impeccable leadership qualities. A Robert h. Routier Frankfurt West Germany a German medical plan helpful Reader says thank you for addressing the problem of dependent medical care in Germany which is spotty at Best and catastrophic at worst. After a couple of dismal experiences of my own in our medical facility i chose a solution your article did not mention i joined a German health insurance program. It is not a cheap alternative As it costs us approximately $150 a month but All of my health care needs Are covered from dentistry to obstetrics to onto metres with a Bare minimum of paperwork. As my health is not the Best and i must make frequent trips to several doctors you can imagine that we consider the Money Well in vested in my Well being and peace of mind. Admittedly it is scary for dependents to consider venturing out and using a system with which they Are unfamiliar. And not everyone can afford this additional coverage not to mention the frustration Many feel at not getting one of the most important benefits the military has to offer families. However this is an alternative which might be helpful to some and i would suggest looking into it further. A Irene g. Wiener Frankfurt West Germany pen pals aka singing and collecting Stamps. I am 22 years eld. A Mardy catalan. Co is. Nilda Jamill scholarship office Uno a a Cokol City negro Occidental Philippines i just turned 21 and would like to have pen pals. I enjoy having a Good laugh. A Radii son Conan 137 Lichfield Road Brownhill s. Walsall West midlands ws8 6ja England posse Pul my name on your Mil at pen Pels. I am 24 years old and Lika to Raad. A Neima catalan co is. Nijs Jamili scholarship office Uno a Bacolod City Negros Occidental philippine Sann Landers dear Ann Landers i was sexually abused by my Stepfather for several years before 1 finally got up the nerve to Tell my Mother. She pressed charges but later dropped them Sam not his real name went for alcohol rehabilitation and saw a psychiatrist. All this happened six years a  then Sam has apologized to me a million times and keeps saying he would do anything to make the past up to me. Occasionally he says things thin make me uncomfortable but never anything specific until a few Days ago. We were together., alone for several hours. He was helping me Finda new apartment in a now 19. Throughout the entire Day he kept telling me How a Damn pretty i was 1 was t pleased. Any personal comment from him makes me nervous. When he left he hugged me and put his hand in a place it  have been. Then he kissed me in a Way that was t fatherly. I Felt As if i was 12 years old again and helpless. I Don t know what to do Ann. I feel 1 should Tell my Mother but i hesitate for two reasons. Its taken us All this time to build a Good Mother Dau Glicr relationship. She really held it against me for telling on Sam because i put her in a position a acre she had to take my Side against him. The second thing that troubles me is i have an 8-ear-old half sister their natural child. I suspect that e might be abusing her. If i ask my Tittle sister Point Blank and in a wrong it could destroy the relationship 1 have with my Mother. Help me out Ann. Of and one More thing a done to worry about counselling for me. When no one provided it 1 went out and got it myself at 16. A no name no address dear no name spend As much time As possible with your Little half sister and win her Confidence so Shell open up to you. Since you be been through the experience you should be Able to do this rather skilfully. If your suspicions Are Correct insist that the child Tell her Mother. She s going to need a lot of emotional support. Be sure that she gets it. Steer dear of Sam. It sounds As if he son the prowl again. Try not to be alone with him. Should you unwittingly find yourself in that spot give him the icicle treatment. You re a big girl now and you Don t need to put up with that garbage. Dear Ann Landers recently you printed a letter from a Man who got cleaned out to a divorce. In your response you doubted that he had told you a straight Story. May i assure you that this is a common occurrence my husband and i were both gouged when we were divorced from adulterous mates. My sex filed bankruptcy the Day 1 filed for divorce. When i took him to court the judge said 1 had an incompetent attorney. In my current husband s Case he was married to an attorney who knew exactly How to clean him out. She got the children the child care deductions the furniture the Good car and the tax exemption even though my husband pays for their full support and we keep them half the time. And of yes my husband also got the Bills. This woman makes More Money than my husband and her husband makes More than Alt of us put together. Does this sound fair a Pacific Northwest dear Northwest no it does no to. Maybe the judge was right about your having an incompetent attorney. Why not get another one and go Back to court for a new settlement to creators Syndicate european edition col. Gene e. Townsend Usan commands editor m Chiu it. Col. 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