European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 25, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Today s children like doing the same things on the playground that kids did years ago a once they get started. Freeze tag forever today s kids need a jump Star by Kim ode Minneapolis St. Paul Star Tribune ship across the Ocean ship across the sea. Captain Captain can t catch me Quot that rhyme May transport you to playgrounds past where you lined up with your friends fainting and dodging your Way across the battered grass almost letting yourself be caught by the Captain before pouring it on to reach the opposite Quot Shore Quot the same rhyme remains a part of american playgrounds present despite appearances the world is one big teenage mutant ninja Turtle and reports that today a kids done to play cowboys and indians but crack dealers and cops and predictions that kids have lost the ability to imagine such traditional games As hide a no seek freeze tag red Rover and four Square have endured. There is one difference from past generations according to recreation supervisors and child behaviour experts today s kids often need to be jump started before their imaginative engines kick in. Colleen Law recreation Center director in St. Paul minn., said that in her 10 years on the Job she has observed that lids have grown less motivated to Start a game on their own although they will still play once a game is suggested. Quot they need More direction and i think it s because kids ust generally Are More structured these Law wonders whether that pattern is a by product of single Parent families or families in which both parents work outside the Home. In these situations child care programs take up where school left off scheduling the activities of the Day just As formally. Richard Weinberg director of the Institute of child development at the University of Minnesota said while kids daily lives might be More structured than they used to be so Are everybody else s. Still its important to allow for some time for unstructured play Quot because it s through play that children explore and understand the world around them Quot Weinberg said. Quot it allows them to develop a sense of rules and breaking rules and what that Means to the social system Quot play is an especially important Way for children to explore their fantasies and feelings and to learn new ideas in addition to physical development. A when children Are older there s More interaction As their peer group becomes More important a he said. Quot play becomes a microcosm of the greater world because it s there that children rehearse new Weinberg is not surprised that kids Are still playing traditional games. Quot some of these Basic games a tag chasing you re it a have a kind of Universal Quality to them because there a physical activity As Well As learning skills such As besides he said Quot they re still even these Universal games face stiff Competition these Days from pizza and video Parlours in response to parents tired of celebrating their children s birthdays amid such electronic cacophony Patty Fowler an Apple Valley minn., recreation specialist last year started a birthday party program that harks Back to simpler times. A i had mothers say the rented a Clown in be rented a Pony in be had a magician come to the House. We re out of ideas a Quot Fowler said. A you want to say to the Mother what happened to the traditional games Quot her two hour birthday parties feature games such As pin the Tail on the Donkey musical chairs London Bridge and red Light Green Light the games chosen vary according to the kids Ages. For $60, up to eight guests get cake ice Cream tablecloths plates and napkins decorations party favors beverages a present for the birthday child and setup and cleanup. And contrary to the doomsayers children have not lost the ability to invent games. A group of boys at St. Paul s Inwood Community Center for example made up an obstacle course on the playground for Quot army training Quot and has invented a variation on the television show american gladiators in which one perches atop the Jungle gym and throws a Koosh bal at the others aiming for a hit. Quot it s not exactly american gladiators Quot said Dave Young who s going on 10, Quot the real one uses a then there s kiss or kill in which you grab another kid s wrist and say Quot kiss or Quot if they say a kill a then you punch them in the Arm but not hard enough to Hurt Quot explained Nick Dubois 8. Stephanie suddenly remembered a crucial Point Quot its always girls catching boys and boys catching which led to Nicks proud proclamation Quot i be never been bullies who and Why by Pete Bishop Scripps Howard news service Carl Johnson s daughter was distressed. Every Day older bigger children denied the kindergarteners a seat on the bus. What happened to her a and others a will sour the sunny Outlook Many students Are bringing to this new school year. The bullies Are Back too. Johnson an associate professor of child psychology in the University of Pittsburgh school of social work says his daughters experience was on the tame end of the bullying scale which slithers its Way up through taunting pushing punching and even extortion. How often bullying occurs is open to debate. Mary Denison a Pittsburgh area school District psychologist doubts its As common As most people think. Stan Rideout chief of Security for the City a Public schools is convinced it happens daily in All schools throughout the United states. Part of the murkiness is that Many incidents occur away from intense adult supervision in the lunchroom Hail or restroom on the playground at recess on the Way to or from school. Another part Rideout says is that Many victims Don t Tell adults about incidents because they fear retaliation. Experts agree most bullying occurs in elementary school especially during the later primary years and diminishes greatly by High school. Johnson says the primary years a Are very important for children developing a sense of Power or being in control or feeling Good about themselves. They re constantly comparing who a smarter who a dumber who a weaker who s stronger who s friendlier who s hence children who for some reason Don t fit in Are the likeliest targets. They might dress or speak differently. Page 14 the stars and stripes tuesday Septell r 25,1990 not aggressive children were shown pictures of social situations by researchers teaching anger control. Some children saw the Center figure As a boy being picked on by others. Some viewed the figure at left As being in league with a bully others said he was helping out the middie child. The researchers used the pictures to help the children to find alternative ways to react to the situations. They re often Shorter or so Rainier or fatter than average. They re often whiners tattletale or teacher s pets. They can be fraidy cat wallflowers or cocky know it alls they can struggle to pass every subject or Waltz Home with straight a s. Some victims Rideout says bring bullying upon themselves. Quot there Are kids who try to buy Friendship a kid who lashes a Little bit of Money and that Flag goes up to that bully a we got one Quot they la begin it in a playful fashion. First its lend me a dime the next week its a lend me a Dollar the next week its a give me a Dollar or i la kick your bullying is far less frequent in High school for three simple reasons a Many bullies have outgrown their Misbehaviour. A even the oddest oddball usually has found some friends in numbers there is strength. A that third Grade runt might now be packing 200 pounds of Well defined muscle on a 6-foot Frame. Not every child who behaves aggressively is a bully. Jim Hay an intermediate school principal in Pittsburgh says some sixth graders just Start feeling their impending adolescent Oats and rebel against raving been Goody goodies themselves All those years. If a bullying situation festers enough to require a parental conference says Hay a we usually find the sch car a app0n n9 a Home that a happening at Many serious bullies have Low self esteem and a negative self image because of sch problems As violent or severely punitive parents a bullying older sibling poor schoolwork or the inability to make friends. If they be been manhandled themselves Johnson says bullies feel Quot extremely threatened and their s Ratey for dealing with that a that they re going to be victimized a is to identify with the aggression and cocome the aggressor More often than not especially when it comes to rough stuff the bully is a boy. Quot when boys feel bad about themselves they tend to lash out at others. When girls feel bad about themselves they usually lash out at themselves Quot says Denison the school psychologist. Quot boys Are More overt. Girls Are More sly and sophisticated. Girls become much More Cli Quish it becomes three girls is. One girl. They Start rumours and make up what bullies Are trying to do is make themselves look Good by making someone else look bad build themselves up by tearing someone else Down. That Denison says is Why bullies rarely tackle the most popular student in the class. Quot it s a Power thing and you done to want to lose a fight with someone who has As much Power As you do. You look bigger if you win All your Battles Quot becoming a victim Isnit pure happenstance either says Johnson. Quot kids who Are victimized Are the ones who whimper and fall apart under the victimization. I m not saying a kid has to literally fight but he has to stand his ground and let the bully know this is going to be stopped one Way or another and that s hard to if the harassment continues victims must speak up threats of retribution or no. Quot share it with someone at Home or at school even the school nurse or school Secretary Quot says Johnston Quot its amazing what the school Secretary school authorities often try to Correct the situation Quot through the Back door Quot telling the bully he a been noticed and As far As possible not using any names to help prevent retaliation. Whatever the course the advice is to Trust the teachers and administrators to handle the problem. Or As one said Quot we Are Tough enough to Deal with Pete Bishop is a reporter at the Pittsburgh press. In training to control their anger aggressive children Drew pictures to describe themselves. One boy Drew himself As a flame breathing dragon which researchers said showed a desire to dominate others. The drawings gave clues to his social goals and led to group discussions of other ways to meet parents can do Scripps Howard news service your child has told you he or she is being bullied. What should you the Parent do Here Are some tips from american school authorities including psychologists who regularly Deal with the problem first get All the facts. Don t go into immediate orbit Over your child s claim that Sammy chased him Home from school caught him and pummelled him. It might be that during recess your Little Angel made fun of Sammy and called him Nasty names a no wonder Sammy was sore. If your child does seem in the Clear Quot judge the degree of the problem and the competency of your kid a says psychologist Carl Johnson of the University of Pittsburgh Quot if it s a fairly minor problem and you feel your kid is capable of handling this give the child Concrete strategies on what he can do turn away leave the situation perhaps talk to an when Johnson s daughter was in kindergarten older kids denied her a seat on the bus. Johnson got another adult to intervene. Quot i talked to the bus Driver at the bus Stop one morning and explained the problem a Johnson said. Quot he helped her find a kid who would save her a seat. That pretty much solved it. Fortunately the bus Driver took some responsibility there. Quot for a Young kid even Small bullying is extreme persistent bullying demands stronger measures. Experts agree that calling the school is appropriate. A vast amount of the problem they say can be handled there and in an appropriate Way. But they Are divided Over whether an adult should Call the bully s Parent often the parents Are part of the problem and not Likely to be helpful. The stars and stripes a a a Page 15
