European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 16, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Mothers at wars a. A a a a s Ltd what Are we doing to our kids by Sally Quinn Washington Post. Bhe firs time i Felt it in my gut was when i saw. H the Magazine picture a Mother in uniform was. H handing Over her baby to someone As she h headed off to War. How did she feel Reading More of these stories i wondered How they All must feel a the american women in saudi Arabia who had taken Down pictures of their children because they were too painful to look at mothers unable to Call Homo for weeks at a time and above All. The. Children. A. A m. A and then the horror stories cases where both parents were sent off to War sometimes with 48 hours notice leaving their children behind with relatives a or even friends , a it seemed unthinkable that in our society both parents could be taken away from their children in this Way. There were serious dimensions to this problem a. Particularly the wartime separation of mothers and / children the More i thought about it the More it seemed wrong on every level. I could respect and respond to All the traditional arguments about feminist Choice and. Military duty but nothing could explain or excuse what All this was Deming to the children. The statistics Tell Only part of the Story. Eleven percent of the u s military Are now women a 6.percent of those in the persian Gulf the Pentagon says there Are no statistics commentary As to How Many single parents mothers or both parents a Aie actually in the Gulf but there Are about 67,000 single parents in the combined services. A. /. A recently paediatrician t Beriy Brazelton author of a in just and mothers and other Bible six on child care spoke to the association for the care of childrens health. He told a Story about parents who had 48 hours to find a place for their infant daughter. A she was sent to her aunt who had four children of her own carried to Boston by a flight attendant because the a parents did t have time. When she was handed Over according to Brazelton the child arched turned and. Screamed with High pitched terror after 10 Days of autistic behaviour the child also was discovered to be deaf. Brazelton believes that sending mothers away from their children is Quot terrible reprehensible and not. No Pessary ,. A child whose parents leave has two resources either to mourn and turn inward or to say to bad. Why did my Mommy leave me or is my Mommy bad because she left me i can t imagine a country doing that to its children Quot when Brazelton spoke something m me snapped. I had been overwhelmed with feelings of conflict a As a feminist As a Mother. After All at Smith College where All the smartest people were women Vve were taught that. Women can do anything a and i was having a very hard time grappling w Ith this mommies at War Issue. It suddenly became Clear that this policy was wrong terribly wrong mothers mothers not women in general a should not go to War period i cannot separate tins Issue from my own experience As an army brat i grew up on army posts around the world i have seen what happens to children of War. My father fought m world War ii shortly after i was born when he went to Korea i was 9 and living with my Mother. Sister and brother in Tokyo. I was traumatized by his. Leaving column t retain any food and was hospitalized at Tokyo general the. Primary receiving Hospital for wounded soldiers coming in from Korea. A pan t to eve on to Hano Home the real to of Belinda Holyfield and her son Marcus shed tears in Montgomery ala., just before her army Reserve unit departed for saudi Arabia. A. A a a. A a. U commanding officer of the 17th inf regt. Was Buffalo Billj much decorated War hero Leader of the famous fighting buffaloes he was on the front lines. A i was fed by in for nearly a year. There was no medical diagnosis. It was presumed to be psychosomatic. Hospital policy was that parents could not visit sick. Children because it was too disruptive. My Mother Only visited a handful of times in that year when in her Gray lady uniform she managed to sneak in. But they did t really have time for the sick kids. The Halls outside our Ward were filled with wounded maimed and dying gis from the front crying out in pain. My Friend Mikey in the next bed and was dying so they sent for his Tather from Korea and his Mother came too and they stayed with him until he died. A a i decided the o Only Way i could get to see my parents was to die so i tried. And they brought my father Home from the i saw a a a both my parents my. Recovery was so a miraculous that i was. A discharged two Days later a. end up deathly ill after Back. A a. Later i was sent Back to ,. Brooke army medical a Center at fort Sam. Houston Texas in a military transport plane filled with litters of More wounded and dying a. Soldiers calling out for their. H. A. Mothers a a. A. What if it had been. Mothers in those litters. Crying out for their children ? what if it had been my Mother if my Mother had been sent away i Don t think would have survived. A. Even now thinking about that time reduces me to tears and that a Why it s unbearable to read about these children separated from their mothers or fathers not to a mention both parents. A on the night Graz Elton spoke Barbara Bush spoke too. Aher praising the doctor a Quot in our office Vve. Consider you the father Superior Quot a she observed that Quot children Are a human be nos who feel and their emotional Well being has everything to do with their physical . It whatever size and shape is key to living Well Quot she said. I believe that too a and also that women can and should have careers equal Tomen s. Women could be cos engineers mechanics lawyers,.doctors, pilots editors and they can be pilots and marines generals and ���., a. Yet it s hard to get around the fact that nature gave a women the role of childbirth the role of nurturing. Tell me. How separating a Carolynne Zales or a Faitt Stewart from their 2-week-old babies to join their husbands in the Gulf is not grotesque. ,. P. And what is the effect on 3-year-old.tamantha Duncan when both of her parents Are hurriedly deployed to the Gulf As the Washington Post reported the Rockville md., girl prays each night Quot dear god will you Plase hurry up and bring my Mommy and daddy Home a this is not just modern life in the age of Equality but feminism gone awry. And the mothers Are particularly m a woman and a Mother before i m a Soldier. Out Here i think More about my family than about my Job and yes that could affect my performance if things got intense that from spec. 4 Robin Williams who talk about her children without crying. Or this from Lori Moore at fort Benning ga., who got a. General discharge because she refused to leave her children Quot in a a Soldier a a she told the new York times Quot i was ready to go. But i produced these kids and i need to take responsibility for them. I m afraid the children Are the Unsung victims of desert storm. There a no question that women can do this. The question is whether we then spec 4 Melissa a. Rathbun Nealy became the first woman missing in action. Was this Mia a Mother the other night Brazelton said to me Quot to d better hurry up and write this piece because the first Mother who comes Home in a body bag is going to have this country. . Let me repeat that i m not saying Here shift women should have careers including military careers different a. From menus women should be Able to do anything they want to do As Long As they realize there Are choices to be made. \. A. Certainly women _ should be a ample to go into Battle if they want to. It is hypocritical and sexist to accept women in the. In a military academies allow them to Lead men and train with men and then i v not let them do their jobs a. Just because they Are p. Women. Women should p have the right to choose. V. Women who happen to. Be mothers though area different Story. Mothers have made their Choice _ to have a child and to his is not just modern life in the age of Equality but feminism gone awry. A and Shota ked about the american family a fax i a a a a a mite nurture that child. What could be More important than that maintaining artillery driving a truck _ this is not to say that men Are not responsible for their children As Well. In fact single fathers should be exempt As Well As mothers. But to those who say that the father is equally important to the nurturing of a child most mothers would reply by quoting stormin Norman Schwarzkopf a its total Quot Bovine a a there s no disputing that these women volunteered for the military but it s far less Clear that they knew what they were getting into in fact few of them were mothers when they actually enlisted or had any idea How emotionally j2x. War but me papers were full of Tershy my stores my father. George and i be eve so deeply that the family of provide a better life economic and educational a or Page 14 a a the stars and stripes saturday Foj
