European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 05, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Readers action line mar profits do customers get a voice it after Reading your series on Quot gambling in the military Quot the following questions about profits from these and other mar programs came to mind _ Why is mar continuing its efforts to generate Large amounts of funds if we Are reducing our numbers not just in Europe but throughout the military will we need additional mar facilities and programs where will the profits currently being made go after we Are gone do we customers get a voice in whether our profits Wilt be returned to us or spent is this now the to. To Start reducing mar fees such As those collected through Usa eur vehicle registration name withheld Kapaun a Germany \9 Andrew Terenzi business management analyst Community and family support Agency Masahe us after replies thank you for the Opportunity to answer some timely -. Questions. Your first question is Quot Why is mar continuing its Effort to generate Large amounts of funds Quot in the past mar  a substantial amount of its funding. From appropriated funds apr. Recent budget constraints and congressional guidance has meant less. Apr for mar. To maintain mar service and programs that our soldiers and their families expect we must generate sufficient funds to meet those needs. A a your next question is Quot if we Are reducing our numbers not just in Europe but throughout the military will we. Need additional mar facilities arid programs although forces will , we still need to maintain Quality mar facilities and programs for those remaining. A  draw Down forces mar support will be maintained until the military installation closes. For our remaining soldiers and family members we will have the Best possible mar facilities. 7 �/.7, your third question where will the profits currently being made go after we Are gone Quot All mar dividends 7 profits Are distributed to the Community mar fund. These dividends Are used within the Community for mar and other priority family programs like support for desert storm  principle is to return Usa eur 7 Soldier generated dollars Back to Usa eur communities for their use. A a a a a a a. 7 Quot do we customers get a voice in whether our profits will be returned to us or spent Quot yes each military Community has a mar Council made up of residents of that military Community. Their purpose is to advise the mar program managers on financial and. Operational matters for the Benefit of the soldiers and civilians in the a Community. The profits Are returned to you with improved. Facilities programs and when possible lower prices. 7. Quot is this Quot now the time to Start reducing mar fees such As those collected through Usa eur vehicle ,. Registration Quot we Are constantly looking for ways to a support the soldiers civilians and their families and when possible reduce prices. Due to the poor Dollar Exchange rate and less apr that is not always possible. However one such Way we were Able to help was to 7 def the vehicle registry fee for those soldiers deployed or  extended due to desert storm. A to write of a a a a readers action line is the readers Quot court of us resort Quot striving to answer some of the questions a 7 a. About life overseas in a military environment or. A questions about policies and guidelines when other a venues for answers a re not readily a available. If you have a question and Don t know where to turn for the answer write to  line co the stars 7 a and stripes Apo 09211-4211. All letters must be a signed and preference will be Given to those. ,7 seeking information of general interest to our. A a a a readers. 77 concerns with teen age dating by Lawrence m. Kutner new York times h 0 Parent expects to like All of a teen ads a dates. Yet there Are times when those relationships strike a particularly dissonant 7  "77 a 7-7, 777 ,.7 a 7 a. I. To parents eyes the mismatch May seem obvious he is too old for her she acts disrespectful. He belittles her. She is not mature enough to handle the relationship or even to be dating at All. Adolescents often View their budding romances quite. Differently from the adults perspective. A v a a they May also respond to their parents comments in. Ways that upset both generations by reacting hysterically or showing even greater  maintain the a relationship a a 7. 7 a. Quot some studies document a a Romeo and Juliet effect Quot said Laurence Steinberg a professor of psychology at 7 Temple University in Philadelphia and the author of you and your adolescent Harper amp Row a 1990, $19.95 7 7 Quot the More the parents oppose the relationship the More intense it  a dating during adolescence usually serves a purpose different from dating during Young adulthood the teenage years Are a time of experimentation and separation from the family a a a a a a a. A a a the two Are intricately intertwined since it is easier for a teen Ager to test his Independence from his parents if he. Feels emotionally intimate with someone else a 7�?z Quot it s a stage of trial and error Quot said or. M. Duncan a a Stanton a family psychologist and professor of a 7 psychiatry at the University of Rochester medical Center a adolescence is also a time of intense social. 7. Pressures. 7 7 a. .7 a. .7. 7 7. Just As High school students May try to distance themselves from the superficial aspects of their parents. Values through the Way they dress and the music the listen to they try with equal enthusiasm to blend in with their classmates. Quot teen agers we be interviewed Tell us that having a steady. Boyfriend or Girlfriend helps them fit in Quot Steinberg said. 7quot it almost does t matter who that p Esq a  a. Even though they May not be very serious about the parental reactions can make a difference new York times 7 77. V 7. Arents should keep some things in mind if 7 they have concerns about someone their child is dating a. 7. A 7 often the Best thing to do is nothing. 7. Remember that most of these relationships Are transient. Pushing to end one can make a teen Ager cling to the so Lerson even More. A. A.7. Quot ask yourself How intense the relationship is Quot said  m. Duncan Stanton a family psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester medical 7 Center Quot if they be Only dated once or twice it s probably More prudent not la say anything .7. Pay  really triggering your reaction to your child s Date. _ -. _ sometimes parents Are surprised by their immediate. Reaction when their child s Date comes from a Chi Ferent religion race or social background a. Even though such differences Are the basis for your. Response a a response your child May be testing by dating this person a you May find yourself searching for other More socially acceptable ways to explain initial 7 feelings toward this person. A 7 instead take a look at Why you feet this Way and try not to. Project those feelings onto the Date. It is also easy to fall into the trap of judging someone simply on the basis of dress or grooming for example a boy who wears earrings or a girl with too much makeup. A ,. A Don t stand by if your child is in an abusive a. Relationship. A 7 a a a a a a that is a judgment that the Parent not the child should make since adolescents and even adults. A sometimes have trouble recognizing  Are being abused. A a. A. -. A Quot if you suspect that your child is being physically or psychologically mistreated you should talk to your child about what a Good relationship is really like Quot said Laurence Steinberg a professor of psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia who specializes in. A 7 Quot. Adolescence x a a a 7 a Quot a a Quot Donihe stale to step in and say that you Don t want her to go out with this person Quot Steinberg said a a it Quot help your children understand that they . Hang around with people who make them feel bad about  a. When talking about you child s Dale focus on a a specific Behaviours rather than personality characteristics. A ii you begin with personality issues your child Vilu probably become defensive and tune you out. Quot Start with the things that you do like Quot Staton a advised a. A. A a a a people they Are dating teen agers pay close attention to their parents reactions 7. A a. A a. 7 a because they Are struggling with issues related to separation from family they May interpret a Parent s negative or off hand comment about a Date As an attack 7. On their maturity or Independence. .7�?T a y. 7. Maria Mancusi a clinical psychologist in Alexandria 7. Va., said adolescents Quot tend to be emotionally fragile an to Over interpret comments As criticism rather than caring. Quot this May be he first person that your teen Ager feels really cares about her socially. Parents trying to a counteract that Are going to get nowhere unless they a recognize the importance of that . 7 7-.,-�?T a despite the intensity of these Early relationships they Seldom Las ,. Quot. 7�?T a a a a a. / this is especially True for children who Are College bound Sinco they tend to marry later. 7 but for All adolescents the importance of dating lies. Less in discovering the other person than in finding out 7 , Quot  j v 7 a Quot dating at this age in t just about love ,&Quot Steinberg said Quot it s about growing up and becoming an adult Quot a a a a a. A a a a _ a a a a is amps Sharon Kilday. Quot talk about How you can see Why your child would be attracted to this person. Then talk about the specific things you would appreciate the Date doing either toward your child or toward you such As not simply walking into your  7 a a 7. A 7 a.  sensitive to Good motives for getting into bad relationships. A. Sometimes teen agers will become involved with people who have serious problems in the unrealistic belief that they can turn that person so life around. If you suspect that your child is trying to save this. Person explain How hard it is for an adult to save. A somebody much less for a teen Ager to do it Quot or Steinberg said. Page 16 the stars and stripes tuesday March 5, 1991