European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 18, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 14 Ann Lander the stars and stripes dear Ann Landers i am 34 years Voltl anti have been married 12 years. We have three children two boys and a girl All under 10. My husband and i get along Well he a a terrific father and our friends and families think we Are the perfect couple. Shortly after we married a a done told me he was not Happy being a Man. He wanted to be a woman. He said he has Felt this Way since he was 5 years old i knew he always liked feminine things but i did t realize to what extent. He is 100 percent faithful and swears that it is Only me he wants to be with. I have tried to accept this and until recently i honestly thought 1 had but it is becoming More difficult As time goes on. I six months ago Don went to Sec a specialist about a sex change operation. I told him 1 could handle his change but 1 Wasny to sure about the kids. After Many Long talks Don said that for the Sake of the children he would put the idea on hold but in a afraid one Day he May resent me for keeping him from being who he wants to be. 1 have asked him to seek counselling but he says he does no to need it that he knows what he be. Id like to get counselling for myself because its getting harder and harder to make love to him. Our relationship is turning into a platonic one although we still get along great. I d love to have the sexual part of our married life Back but i can to seem to manage it. I done to want to end up having an affair just to satisfy my sexual needs but i do want a Man. Can you help me a unsettled in Milwaukee dear Milwaukee i m sure you understand that eventually your husband dear Abby dear a13by my husband has a close Friend about has age late 30s who has a lot going for him. He s smart College educated has a Lovely wife also very Well mannered and has a great personality. So what a the problem you wont believe this a but the Man does not know How to hold a dinner Fork correctly he a makes a fist and holds the Fork in his fist a like a 3-year-old child. His wife holds her Fork correctly. Why she Hasni to corrected her husband ill never know if you use this in your column i will clip it and mail it to him anonymously. I Haven to the heart a or Cour age a to Tell Hin face to face but a Man who is going up the corporate ladder As he is should know How to hold a dinner Fork. A Friend in san Francisco dear Friend a. \ i doubt if the Way a Man holds his dinner Fork will impede his ascension up the corporate ladder. Nor would it disqualify him from memberships in the Ultra exclusive Bohemian club or mensa an International organization for people with is in the top 2 percent of thursday april 18, 1991 is going to have that operation and your life will be very different. I urge you to get counselling now to help handle the pressure and figure out what you want to do in the future. I Admire your strength. Not every woman could Deal with this situation and stay balanced Quot. Dear Ann Landers. 1 make almost twice As much Money As my Boyfriend so i done to mind picking ii the Tab at least half the time when we eat out. Last night a a Carlo and i went to a wonderful new res Laurant. The waitress was extremely attentive to Carl and ignored me completely. She came Over to our table at least six times to ask if everything was All right but she did he to look at me once. It was obvious that she was making a play for my Man. When it was time for the Check she placed it in front of Carl. I took out my Wallet to pay it and left a much smaller tip than usual about 7 percent of the Tab. Carl noticed and said a you usually do a lot better than that. Are you getting paranoid a i Felt her treat sent of me was horrible and saw no reason to Reward her for ignoring me. Carl said the service was excellent and that 1 was being cheap. What do you think it Glen Cove n y. Dear Glen Cove seven percent is far from an adequate tip these Days. Twelve to 15 percent is much More like it. And if the scr ice is Superb 20 percent is the going rate in the elegant places. Granted it was dumb and unprofessional of the waitress to ignore you but if the service was excellent she deserved to be adequately rewarded. A. C creators Syndicate the general population. But Here s your letter for clipping and mailing. Dear Abby i have been married for eight years. My husband is a very Good Man. He is 38 years old i am 30. We both knew at the Lime of our marriage that 1 was unable to have children. Now that i have turned 30, my desire for a family is very Strong and i would like to look into adoption. I have spoken to my husband about this numerous times and he does not want to adopt. He was married once before and has two children from that marriage. They Are now 18 and 20. He says we can to afford children which is not True. \ Abby i am considering divorce so i can begin looking for someone who wants the same things i do. 1 done of know what else to do. 1 really want to work things out but 1 done to want to push him into something he does no to want. 1 need help. What should i do v a babies or bust dear babies or bust you chances for a a busting Are better than your chances for adopting a child with this Man. You knew when you married him that he did not want children. See a marriage Counselor to make sure it s children you really want and not a happier c Universal press Syndicate a today a crossword across 1 festive 5 sine a non b Venus. Lack 12 Yorick a. Expletive 13 name in burmese history 14 Simon or. Diamond 15 lapidary a Stock 16 pipeline flow 17 formerly 18 Ace 20 moved quickly 22 Cousteau so a a. A place a 23 Ewe said. 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