European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 20, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Its nothing to be ashamed of therapy for children by Sandy Rovner a Washington Post a the idea that a Little kid needs to see a therapist a or Quot worry doctor a As they Are known among the Nursery school set can be very scary for the child but  even More frightening for. The Parent. A Quot  a ?. Quot a  Quot parents come with a lot of guilt Quot says clinical a a psychologist Jane Annunziata. Quot they think a what have i done wrong How come i did my Best and i failed and a now my child needs this a and what is this anyway a Quot \ Many parents ate terrified that their unhappy 4-year-old might be showing Early signs of serious mental illnesses. Such As schizophrenia a problem that rarely surfaces until late adolescence. In Many cases children who need therapy Are having far More benign and Normal problems. Others have difficulties coping with a divorce a move a Long separation from a Parent a death in the family. By y y by ,. A a parents often regard the fast that their child needs therapy As stigmatizing. Quot some  and say a a of in a embarrassed to come Here a or Quot i done to want my friends to know my kid is in therapy a Quot says Annunziata. Marc a. Nemiroff a clinical psychologist with a private practice in Maryland who is coordinator of youth and a a a family programs at the Woodburn Center for Community mental health in Annandale va., has also found that the stigma about mental illness in general and about therapy a for children in particular is difficult for parents the two psychologists have written a children a Book about play therapy the preferred method of treating children who tend to act out their feelings and experiences. Designed for children Ages 4 to 7, it is also for their parents. A y. A Quot when kids play the therapist can understand their. Feelings and their worries. Child therapists help them understand their feelings while they   a. Child s first Book about play therapy Quot Quot it in t just the child who wants to know what Playa therapy is Quot says Annunziata. Quot parents Are liable to say a Well what Are you doing in that room in a giving you All this Money $90 an hour and you re playing in a a Sandbox a. Y by by by Quot Quot says Nemiroff Quot youngsters show their distress in the Way they behave not in the Way they speak. They need to a. Play with a trained therapist who can understand what. Their underlying concerns Are and can help them very gradually turn it into words Quot a. A v a. Quot have you Ever noticed How some kids have problems they might get into fights a lot. They might a amps Susan Harris have trouble sharing. They might feel very shy and. A nervous around other kids. Or maybe they worry a lot. Doing one of these things a lot Means that kids have problems. A problem is a thing  about or feel bad about. Sometimes a problem makes you want to cry. Or hit someone. Or be All by yourself. Its hard to keep having these problems. It bothers children they done know where the problems come from. So they can t make them go away. Then they need  according to a Survey by the National Institute of mental health there Are As Many As 14 million children who suffer from mental or emotional disorders. Only about.25 percent Are being treated although anymore could be helped. Most of them especially in the Early years Are not seriously and certainly not permanently disturbed. For Many a few weeks with a therapist can prevent years of unhappiness. It is often just a matter of Quot getting Over some life event hurdles Quot says Nemiroff. Some kids do it easily others need a Quot Little assistance. One of the books goals says Annunziata is to let a a child know that Quot having a special Helper Quot is not a punishment. When she first a amp is a child she asks if they know Why they re there too often they will say Quot i was bad Quot or Quot i hit my brother too much quota. The Book published by the american psychological association should also be helpful to children with More serious problems says Annunziata. Quot i Don t mean that you Rush the child in with the first bad dream or the first fight at school Quot she says Quot but for some children the conflicts just become More entrenched As the years pass. And then someday an adult will Tell a therapist a it All started when i really hated my baby sister. A a a for information on ordering american psychological association order department . Box 2710, Hyattsville my 20784. Readers action Lin Why help Only for desert storm families a a i Ana one of the spouses of soldiers deployed to. Frankfurt in support of operation  As i look Quot around see that with the exception of a few Frankfurt residents that particular fact is not of importance to. A . A a a. A / we Are left Here indefinitely without our spouses and the benefits that families of soldiers actually deployed to saudi Arabia receive. We do not  Benefit old a support groups , space available. Travel children s services or any of the other financial and support benefits. A a a we were not Given the Benefit of a deployment briefing or time to prepare our children for the separation and our Powers of attorney Are. Being refused because our a. A spouses Are still in the theater. A. Then there is the fact that families of reservists sent Here to do the same Job As our spouses receive the same or better benefits As the Active duty desert storm Quot family members. A. A. The Only thing we received was the Benefit of losing separate rations for the duration of the War and it is a putting us All through a financial and emotional hardship. We realize that our spouses were not in immediate. Danger and we Felt deeply for the spouses of soldiers deployed to operation desert storm. But weren t our spouses just As gone weren t we asked to Bear even. More financial hardship because there was no pay to a offset the loss of separate rations ? was it not important that  were protecting the family members of desert storm soldiers so that those soldiers could rest easier. A. Our spouses were living on  five hours of sleep a Day Between actual duty and the details that ran into their off time. If they happened to be of duty when a meal was served they just missed that meal their health 1 suffered because of a Lack of sleep and weight Joss and they knew their families were not being taken care of. Yet they kept doing their Job without so much As a thank you from the army to which they have dedicated their lives. Our spouses did not ask for this Mission they were assigned to in and for that they and the families they left behind were considered insignificant in the scope of this War. A As a family member of one of. These soldiers i feel y abandoned by the leaders of Usa eur and the United. States and i believe that they should rethink their policies concerning these soldiers and their families. A a Verna Smith a. Baum older Germany i9 Rex Becker family program coordinator Headquarters Usa eur replies the army in Europe is thankful for what your spouse and others who were deployed away from their Home station did. They did important jobs and did them in a highly professional manner a a however there existed a Basic difference Between the. Work of ail the dedicated soldiers and civilians in Europe and those deployed to the Mideast the soldiers a deployed to the Mideast were in a combat zone. We understand the difficulty of having your spouse a away from Home for Long periods. We know it was hard on them physically and mentally to work Long hours in Adverse conditions. We agree that there was a financial hardship on families where the sponsor was gone from the Home 3ut, the risk to us and therefore the stress on our families was generally less than on those deployed to the Mideast it is for these reasons we have tried to do More and provide extra services to the families of a soldiers deployed to the Mideast. A. Your letter has Given us the Opportunity to address a couple of Points. Some of the things you mention in your. Letter should not have happened. Your spouse s unit was required to have a family.,support group but remember family support groups Are Volunteer organizations that Only work when the family members themselves make them work. The fact that your spouse was in theater did a not invalidate your Power of attorney. If agencies in your Community have refused your Power of attorney see your Legal assistance office. Your letter serves the useful purpose of getting All of us who worked to provide support for families of soldiers and civilians affected by desert storm to rethink our a. Policies. We did focus More of our attention on families of soldiers deployed to the Mideast and not enough on those who stayed in Europe. This realization constitutes a Quot lesson Learned Quot during this  a result of the concerns expressed in your letter and is Miniar expressions by others  taken or will shortly take the following  ask the department of the. Army to continue the space a travel program after desert storm for family a Quot members travelling without their sponsors. A Send a message to commanders restating the directive that All units must have family support groups. A we Hope these actions will hot be Quot too Littie too late Quot and that you and other spouses of these dedicated soldiers will be Able to take advantage of some of these benefits. A a a Quot a a a to write us. Readers Quot action line is the readers Quot court of last resort striving to answer some of the questions about life overseas in a military environment or a questions about policies and guidelines when other avenues for answers Are not readily available. If you have a question and Don t know where to turn for the answer write to readers action line co the stars. And stripes Apo. 09211-4211. All letters must be. Signed and preference will be Given to those seeking information of general interest to our readers. Page 16 the stars and stripes saturday april 20, 1991