European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 25, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Tattling form of children s Power Playboy Lawrence Kutner new York times Sharon Hulback has gotten used to hearing her children s tattling. The words come cloaked As regular a. Battlefield reports issued by her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son As they vie Tor her attention. They Tell her about each other s behaviour usually / applying their own spin to the vivid descriptions of injustice 7 a a a a a a a a Quot when they re downstairs watching to. One or the. Other will come to me saying they be been punched or. Shoved Quot said Hulback an a Ray technician from. A. V Plymouth minn., a suburb of Minneapolis each wants. Me to punish the other  a it although tattling is Universal among children it has different meanings at different Ages late toddlers and some preschoolers May sound like they Are tattling when they Are simply giving their parents uncensored a v. Information. 7 a children this Young joyfully share the things they have observed but Seldom make judgments about the people involved they just want their parents to know what is. Going on in the world. A \ a. �?T.7. A a with older children however  someone else s behaviour can take on a different and More manipulative one there is much More to tattling than issuing a simple news report. 7 a. 7. A a. Quot tattling is a Power play Quot said or Eugene Urbain a. Clinical psychologist at the Wilder. Child guidance Center in St. Paul. Quot it s a Way for the child to try to look Good by making someone else look bad not an attempt to solve the problem. ./7 77 --7. A -./7- a the most common targets Are Brothers and Sisters for tattling is a tool of sibling rivalry. It is a Way for a child to position himself As an ally of his parents worthy of extra love and attention. Even when the ploy is successful the  quickly disappear. Siblings soon catch on to what has happened and respond by tattling on the Tattler it is a Battle that neither Side can win but that no one will voluntarily Stop for fear of being the Only loser. A Quot parents need to be cautious about making their readers action Linea Afes pricing and profit it a i would Liko further clarification on the action line question that dealt with scratch out pricing of a videocassette recorder. I understood the answer but it raised a couple of questions. A. 7 a As i understand the. Method by which cafes operates they Are allowed to realize a certain percentage of profit on items sold in its stores in other words if this were a 10 percent profit and an item were purchased tort cafes could sell it for. $1,10. However if cafes sold it for i 20, they would realize a 20 percent profit ten  what was allowed. If this is the Case please explain the following scenario to me a a the original Var was purchased by cafes with a retail Price of $480 and sat on the Shell for a while. In the meantime prices of future purchases of the same Brand a and Model raised the retail Price to $540. When cafes raised the retail priced the original in Stock Var were they not realizing a 12 5 percent profit above what they were allowed under their operational policies would t it have been More ethical Tor cafes to children s problems their problems by trying to solve All. Their children a difficulties with each other Quot said or. Jan a n. Hughes a professor of educational psychology at Texas a amp a University Quot if they Haven t become physically ,. Aggressive with each other parents need to put the a problem Back in the kids hands  1 / a a these solutions she added Are Best reached away from the parents. By having the children work out their problems in a room by themselves they Are forced to be More self reliant.7-7b b7 a .-/7777v. But some children May not have the Means to. Solve. T those problems for them tattling is a symptom of underlying difficulties with Normal social skills. They Are unable to Settle the Day to Day conflicts in their lives in ways that Are appropriate for their age. .7for example they do not think about negotiating when 7 another child wants one thing and they want something Quot else. They rely on adults As their first line of defense. A a. Instead of a last resort. C. A a -,./ Quot these children tend to be unpopular neglected or a a a a rejected Quot Hughes said. Persistent rattlers need help a a recognizing what it is they Are doing wrong. ,. They also Benefit from supervised practice and coaching in ways of solving social problems by. Themselves. .7 v v 7 v -. ./7. They can get that help either from their parents or from a one of the growing number of school based programs on How to make arid keep friends.-7 /. I Quot a. Other children have trouble telling the difference Between tattling and sharing appropriate information with an adult As when another child is in danger. A a a a. They May be reluctant to ask Tor outside help even when it is needed. A a. A Quot i have parents Tell their children that in this family we take care of each other a said or. Rita p. Underberg a child psychologist and a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester medical Center Quot telling How someone in the family needs help in t  have sold the in Stock merchandise at the original Price and when that Stock Price was depleted they could have sold the subsequent Stock at the higher Price. Do you a drop the. Retail Price of in Stock merchandise if Thea. Purchase Price for future Stock drop Beverley Grubb bad Kissinger Germany master sgt Dayton p. Strickland customer relations he cafes Europe replies. When we re notified by a supplier of a Price increase t we estimate a Date of depletion for that particular product. The estimated Date is arrived at by using previous sales. The Price increase then goes into effect after that projection Date. Ii a supplier decreases a Price we usually pass the savings on to the customer immediately. A to write us readers action line is the readers Quot court of last a resort Quot striving to answer some of the questions about a life overseas in a military environment or questions about policies and guidelines when other avenues for answers. Are not readily available. If you have a question and Don some reasons Why. By or. Hap Lecrone. Cox news service it s sometimes children of hard working. Successful ambitious parents fail to follow the pattern set by the parents instead the child or children of these parents seem to Drift along somewhat aimlessly in life reaching adulthood without self discipline goals or ambition. A a a. The parents May at first appear bewildered then Quot disappointed and finally often experience guilt feelings. They Are puzzled and so Are their friends. Why do these a a offspring fail to achieve the maturity or acquire the a a a a psychological characteristics that most of society considers healthy and Normal it would appear that the. Parents have provided the foundation for High self esteem have provided the educational opportunities a and have modelled Behaviours which would promote a. Healthy growth and inspire Success. Y a a mental health professionals have ,. A a ,. Situation. In my own practice i have observed some of the following situations that May contribute to. A Quot disappointing  a one explanation Given most frequently is the child a was Given too much they weren to allowed to learn the value of working for something the were indulged to the Point that they never Learned what it was like to postpone gratification or to be responsible for the consequences of their behaviour. A. /  a a another explanation is that the adult child is rebelling against the values of his or her parents. The child assumes oppositional characteristics. In de emulating the value system of the parents the child is perceived As being irresponsible Lazy and even worthless. A parents in their love and concern often become a overprotective shielding the children to the Point that they Are emotionally stunted and Are lacking in skills and the Confidence necessary to enter . 35. During the formative years the child May have. Been deprived of the parents presence. The parents May have been too Busy with their careers to nurture and give. The emotional support needed for healthy psychological a development. A a a v a a Aall of these factors and others May contribute to the Complex problem of disappointing offspring and May a. Never be totally understood by even the most experienced and skilled mental health practitioners. Or. Hap left conc Imp clinical psychologist in Waco Texas know where to turn for the answer write to readers. Action line co the stars and stripes Apo 09211-4211. Alt letters must be signed and preference will be Given to those seeking in formation of general interest to our ,. Readers a a a a la a update a i a spokesman for Usa eur informed us there has been a change in the provisions governing the department of defense hiring freeze since. The stars and stripes published an answer May a 15 regarding eligibility for veterans preference on Federal employment. I Quot previously the Dod hiring freeze precluded. Outside hiring unless special exceptions were made on a specific position. Recent changes no longer preclude the appointment of applicants a from outside the Dod. These new guidelines however permit the filling of Only two of five vacancies. A two of six within Usa eur from outside Dod. Consequently hiring of external applicants will continue to be severely restricted. Page 18 a the stars and stripes saturday May 25, 1991