European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 26, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Of nose hairs ufos and tons a a 1 a or. 1 1. A a \ a. A a a. A t a a a a a i a i t a a a a of sauerkraut Dave Barry knig lit Ridder newspaper b of orc i get to this we cars topic a which As you have probably already v. Guessed is deciding which Wisconsin Community deserves the title a a ufos capital of the world a t need to make a correction. I have received a letter from or William Wagner of Utica , who informs me that my re cent co 1 urn Abou t tipping contained Brace yourself a a factual error v specifically or. Wagner informs me that i was incorrect when i stated that a Savoir fairer is French for a car size Quot As in the sentence a Prince Charles and president Bush arc men of great  a a or. Wagner goes on to observe that my error a a merely confirms  natives opinions of americans As ethnocentric  and ignorant fools bumbling around with no real knowledge of what they arc  the letter ends a sincerely a someone with Savoir Faire William  1 needless to say 1 feel like a total mrs potato head or As the French say a Sun total Monsieur to Etc de la to Mulc do Terre Quot about this. I deeply 1 regret the error and 1 wish to make the following formal correction a Savoir fairer does not mean a a year  it Means a nose hair Quot As in the expression a Garcon wha fare these Savoir fairs doing in my soup a a or Quot that William Wagner of Ulica ., certainly has a lot of Savoir Faire a -. Speaking of extraterrestrials. Imagine you Are As concerned As i an about this Wisconsin ufos thing i became aware of it when Alert Reader i v Chaco Jones sent me an article from Wisconsin. Tourism development Magazine listing  a Gans used by various Wisconsin communities to attract tourists.  i am not making  up Babcock a a Quot where the last passenger Pigeon was killed a a Cumberland a a Rutabaga capital Quot a Ellsworth a a cheese curd capital of Wisconsin Hurley a a where Highway 51 ends and the fun begin Kewaskum a a Gateway to the Kettle Moraine Mercer a a Loon capital of the world Sauk Prairie a a cow Chip throwing capital Quot a Reading these slogans we arc. Reminded once again of exactly what makes Small town heartland.  wonderful hallucinogens in the cheese curd. A no really these arc All wonderful places that you As a tourist will want to Check out. You should also go to Bear Creek wis., which boasts y that it is a Home of the worlds largest sauerkraut  i called the Plant which is operated by Flanagan Brothers inc., and spoke to vice president David Flanagan who told me that i every year Flanagan Brothers processes 40,000. Tony of cabbage resulting in what the French Call a Kraut de Sauer out do  or. Flanagan told me that visitors arc Welcome at the Plant and can get free samples so you will y definitely want to forget about Disney world and take the family to Bear Creek you can use this trip As a motivational tool a if you kids done to behave we re not going to go to the worlds larg Cost sauerkraut Plant Quot. And you will not want to miss Sparta wis., which Bills itself As a Home of the big fibreglass v  these arc made by a company called ., for a a fibreglass animals shapes and _ _  i spoke to , pres i d c n l j Erry vettrus who told me that these animals Are used by businesses to attract visitors., a once for a restaurant we made a Gian Chick in holding a Root Beer and a cheeseburger a he said. A that was one of the More unique  a even As we were speaking  said he-1 had a truck delivering a giant fibreglass Snail or a Escargot de Glass do Fibert a to California wherein will presumably at tract giant fibreglass French people. A so anyway while scrutinizing the list of wis Xii Consin slogans j noticed that to communities Belleville and Elmwood a both claim to be a Tufo capital of the world.�?�. So i called Elmwood and spoke to the Village president Larry pc incr and he told me they. Chose their slogan a few years ago when a a fellow proposed to raise $50 million to build a Landing site for ufos  Feiler said the Man chose Elmwood because a there were a lot of ufos sightings Herc so he  have to educate the. People about  Ai Feiler said the Landing site plan made Elm a Wood a very  a a it kind of went International Quot he said. A some people from Elmwood were flown out to new y York to be on the Geraldo  Elmwood was v also on Oprah. Next i called Belleville and spoke to Bob Belle former president of the Belleville improvement group who told me they adopted their slogan a few years ago after a ufos was sighted in the area and every year they have a ufos Parade around halloween. I asked him if there were any plans to build a ufos Landing site in Belleville and he said �?o1 think our land is too  so there you have it two communities Belleville and Elmwood both with solid claims to be a Tufo capital of the world Quot this is a Tough Call to make but 1 would have to say after weighing All the evidence that the title rightfully belongs to Lodi wis whose slogan is a Home or Susie 1 the  lil. Romov Italy no kidding How Long does it last $1 Bill a 1vfe years Quot$2 Bill a 36 years $5 Bill $10 Bill -$20 Bill $50 Bill -$100 Bill a 2 years 3 years 4 years 9 years 9 years source . Dept of Treasury t creatures imported to America gnats pigeons a House sparrows 1 Quot Walki nig Catfish j a Piranha mongooses clothes Moths source  athenaeum publishers 1974 Williams London England. Quot at least its got me Down to ten a Day Quot Page 24&Quot a a sunday 1 May 26, 1991