European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 13, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Having children should not trap parents at Home by Mary to Kochakian the Hartford courant she looks at the tour ads and thinks How she would love to go to Paris once More. She really loved the time she had spent there before before the kids. The fares Are really cheap. Maybe. But then it would t be fair to the kids. They re too Little. In be never been away from them overnight much less a week. They d miss me too much. And what if there was an Accident they a be orphans a. Becoming a Parent limits your Freedom no doubt. But parenthood can also create or give new form to anxieties. And a common problem is that of becoming unnecessarily tied to Home and children because of such anxiety. Quot people can be like this even before they have children Quot psychologist Michael Schwartzman said. But he finds it Quot very striking How people become so aware that they Are like this after they have  fears about leaving children Are Normal and useful. Quot it really is True that the child is dependent. And it really is True that if something happened to you it would make a big difference to the child Quot said Schwartzman who practices in new York City and Larchmont n.y., and is tie author of the anxious Parent Simon amp Schustern Quot $19.95. Quot so you respond with appropriate feelings of concern and  you do what you must to ensure your child is Well cared for. If you plan a trip alone you make plans for your children scare. You arrange to Call them while away. You talk with them about How Long you will be gone and if they Are old enough you explain that sometimes grownups need time to relax without children. You might even decide that you and your spouse should take separate planes. But despite All such plans if you still Are unable to leave without becoming obsessed about the children you have a problem readers action Lin paper products at the commissary i i recently read about the process in which Wood is made Inlo paper. Our High standards of living Are affecting our health and environment. As a consumer and activist in keeping my family and environment healthy i ask whal must we do to have the commissary Stock chlorine and dioxin free paper products for Hose of us who find it difficult to kick the Quick disposal habit the following paper products should be reconsidered paper plates cups towels and napkins All tissues diapers and menstrual items Etc. If More people educated themselves on the production of while paper there would be less demand for these chlorinated products. Roseanna Lockridge Darmstadt Germany Ecol. Sandra s. Whitt commander . Army troop support Agency european commissary Region replies we apologize for the length of time in responding to your letter but we were attempting to obtain additional information that would help us to answer your question fundamentally we have been unable to locate sources of Quot chlorine and dioxin free Quot paper products. To further answer your question however we would like you to know that we Welcome customer suggestions regarding products they would like to see stocked in their commissaries. These Are solicited mainly from our suggestion programs As Well As from discussions with commissary officers and letters written to us when a specific project is requested we then ask Industry sales representatives to make a presentation of the item to us Schwartzman said. _ Quot where it becomes abnormal Quot he said Quot is when a Parent who is struck by this is unable to work it out so that it does no to hamper anybody a  there Are Many reasons a Parent might be unable to part from  i think that people have this problem to a certain ,. If it appears to be a product that will find a Market in our commissaries we then add it to our Stockage list. While we sympathize with our customers environmental concerns we cannot delete a project from our Stockage list simply because some customers object to it. When the sales of the product indicate that it is not Selling Well we then delete it from our Stockage list to make room for other products. If you have specific products and manufacturers in mind that you would like to see our commissaries Stock we ask that you submit this to your commissary officer through the suggestion program. This would help us in locating sales representatives for the products requested thank you for writing we Hope that this has served to answer your  demand for signed Lla Dros a i recently had my Quot lifetime Opportunity Quot to get a Llandro figurine signed at the Kaiserslautern Vogel Weh Exchange. Not Only did we drive All the Way from Schweinfurt to do so we also had to endure total confusion when we got there. I have never encountered such an unorganized mess. After standing in the a Purchase Quot line for three hours we were told that Juan Llandro would depart at 5 30 . And that we More than Likely were not going to get our Purchase signed Well some of us took that Chance luckily i did get my Quot circus serenade Quot signed but Only because my husband decided to stand in the signature line Quot two hours prior to my turn to Purchase 1. Why did cafes not advertise along with their promotion and in the stars and stripes that or Llandro would Only sign at certain hours during the two days7 extent in reference to the exaggerated dangers in our society like Drunken driving kidnapping murders. But there is for people who suffer from this a sense that they carry Over from their own childhoods when separations were very heavy and burdensome where extra concern was always placed on who was going to be where Quot Schwartzman said. Sometimes fear of separation is linked to a unhappy event in childhood such As being away at Camp while parents decided to split up. Some parents get stuck in their roles As Mother and. Father and find it difficult or think it inappropriate to step out of them even briefly by being away from their children. And couples May avoid taking time off together because of problems in their marriage he said. A couple May be Able to keep conflict underground while busily tending to the daily routine. Being alone forces them to focus More on their  the reason if parents cannot move beyond being trapped by anxiety they should think Over the past and try to determine what is making them so anxious he said. Rather than Wade through All the issues it May seem better to simply avoid the problem. Just stay Home. But he said Quot with that comes a breakdown in activity and ultimately your relationship pays the Price or your own feelings about yourself pay the Price or your life with your children pays the Price. You get resentful. If you re not going to go away you re going to end up being narrowed in your experience and that s going to Burn you  children Benefit when they learn to handle separations Schwartzman said As do parents. Quot it s also Nice because the More you do that the More freed up you Are Quot he said. Quot and your children will always Benefit from the greater Energy the greater resilience and the greater spontaneity you have sometimes it s really important to get something directly for yourself in order to give it Back to your . 2. Why did i pay $180 for this figurine when i can get the same one for $145 at any other Exchange. Evelyn r. Thurston Schweinfurt Germany master sgt. Dayton p. Strickland customer relations he cafes Europe replies you re absolutely right. The customer response and size of the crowd simply overwhelmed us. It was our first try at a promotion like this in Europe and you can be sure that Well be More prepared for the next one. We chose not to advertise the signing times in the stars and stripes since the Exchange posted signing times local fliers were distributed and the information was also aired on an radio and television. We were also pleased that or. Llandro was kind enough to remain until All those desiring autographs received one even though he was on a tight schedule. The circus serenade no. 5694 Llandro was increased from $145 to $180 on March 1 As a result of a Price increase from the manufacturer. I sincerely apologize for your inconvenience. It Wasny to easy to handle a crowd of that magnitude and we Promise to make significant improvements in the future. To write us readers action line is the readers a court of last resort striving to answer some of the questions about life overseas in a military environment or questions about policies and guidelines when other avenues for answers Are not readily available. If you have a question and Don t know where to turn for the answer write to readers action line co the stars and stripes. Apo 0921u4211. All tetters must be signed and preference will be Given to those. Seeking information of general interest to our readers Page 16 the stars and stripes saturday july 13, 1991