European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 23, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 20 a the stars and stripes monday september 23, 1991 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers i am 16 and a Junior in a Well known private girls school in Washington . Like nearly All the other students Here i have already lost my virginity. Although most people consider this subject a very personal one i feel the need to share this part of my life with girls who Are trying to decide whether to have sex for the first time. In All the years i be been Reading your column 1 have never seen the honest to goodness truth about this subject and i think it s time somebody spoke out. Take my word for it girls sex does not live up to the glowing reports and hype you see in the movies its no big Deal. In fact it s pretty darned disappointing. I truly regret that my first time was with a Guy i did t care that much about. I am still going out with him which is getting to be a problem. I d like to end this relationship and Date others but after being so intimate it s awfully Tough. Since that first night he expects sex on every Date like we Are married or something. Our whole relationship seems to revolve around going to bed. When i Don t feel like it we end up in an argument. Its like i owe it to him. I Don t think this Guy is in love with me at least he s never said so. I know deep Down that 1 am not in love with him either and this makes me feel sort of cheap. I Realie now that the first time is a very big step in a girl s life. After you be done it things Are never the same. It changes everything. My advice is done to be in such a Rush. It s a headache and a worry. Could 1 be pregnant sex is not for in today a crossword dear Abby dear Abby our 42-year-old son and his wife live in the same City with us. We never make demands on them and Are self sufficient and Able to take care of our needs. We do however enjoy seeing them and invite them to join us for dinner from time to time. They never drop in but we would be delighted if they would. My husband and i never go to them uninvited and they rarely invite us Over. When friends or relatives visit us from out of town we would like to include our son and his wife and ask them to share a meal. But when we do. They seem annoyed and resentful and claim that our guests arc ours and they Don t want to be bothered. I occasionally coax them by telling them that if they would come they arc free to leave anytime and Don t have to give up the whole evening. I 117 to be thoughtful a they Call it it upsets us terribly that our adult son can t understand hat family relationships mean a lot to us and we would he proud to have our friends and relatives meet him and his wife. When he and his Brothers were growing up oar Home was always open to All their friends. Text ailment. It should be a commitment. Be smart and save yourself for someone you would t mind spending the rest of your life with. Sign me sorry i did t and wish i could take it Back dear sorry in be heard your Story before but never in such Clear and rational language. Thanks for performing a real service a More than you la Ever know. Dear Ann Landers i just finished Reading the letter signed . From Gallaudet University in the Sacramento Bee. The woman a response had a add hotline number for those who Are deaf or speech impaired. In your response you incorrectly stated a it should be made Clear that special Telephone equipment is required in order to use the it is obvious miss Landers that you have never seen or used a add. If you had you would know that no special equipment is needed. The add is simply a device used in conjunction with the Telephone. Next time get your facts straight before you Rush into print and misinform millions of people. A deaf and damned mad in Northern California dear deaf and damned mad you Are also mistaken at the top of your lungs. When i am wrong i admit it witness the number of times 1 have publicly taken countless lashes with a wet Noodle. That device you attach to your phone is indeed special equipment Isnit it i suggest that you chill out and keep your blood pressure Down. You la last longer. C creators Syndicate he is a Nice and pleasant person but he refuses to give of himself. We can to seem to make him understand that caring adults sometimes make an Effort to please others a not just themselves. What Are your thoughts on this Abby caring parents dear parents for whatever reason your son is not interested in maintaining a close relationship with you or a the too bad he has never Learned the Joy or doing something for the sheer pleasure it affords others. Your a Nice pleasant son is also selfish. Dear Abby this is in response to a puzzled in Florida Quot who could t decide How to list her daughter s race since she is half White and half Chi Csc. I am a White american my wife is a Black jamaican. When i filled out the census form i too was puzzled. Our sons Are neither White nor Black a certainly not Oriental a and much More is implied by our oldest son resolved the problem by saying a dad we Are biracial a a a group of similar kids and teachers in his High school formed a a a biracial social club and coined the term. It is an obvious and Correct answer. Sign me As Bill k., Staten Island n y. 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