European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 7, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Saturday March 7, 1992 the stars and stripes a Page 19 of 9 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers everyone who reads your column regularly will see him or herself sooner or later. I saw myself a few Days ago when i read the letter about the Stepmother who was left out of the wedding pictures. This happened to me three years ago and i will never forget the humiliation. 1 married a wonderful Man in 1982. Before he met me he had tried his darn est to make a living and be a Good father while married to a hopeless alcoholic. The most manipulative of his children was the eldest a a daughter  the final scenario occurred when Margaret was making plans to marry and wanted a $1,000 wedding gown. She invited her dad to help her pick the gown out and was very upset when she Learned that he had asked me to come along. At first she tried on gowns that were Selling for $300 and gradually worked up to the More expensive ones. I could see where that was heading took my husband aside and ask him How he could consider spending $1,000 on a gown when he was having trouble making House payments. He said a Well i could sell my gun  that was the Straw that broke the camels Back. I insisted that my husband and i get joint counselling in an Effort to open his eyes to the damage being done by his manipulative daughter. He agreed to go and it was very successful. Margaret did not get the $1,000 dress from us. Her father sent her a Check Fol $300, which she spitefully returned. We went to the wedding and were treated very coldly by everyone including the in Laws. I am sure today a crossword dear Abby dear Abby three years ago i divorced a hard working industrious Man who was totally selfish and insensitive to other family members a especially me his wife. After Many years of unhappiness i decided i would be better off raising our three children alone than tolerating the constant tension and Strain of life with a a Ernie not his real name. Last year i remarried and i cannot describe my present happiness. My Only problem now is Ernie smother. She has been a doting grandmother to my children. She has always been a a Nice when other family members Are present but the children have told me that a a grandma never misses an Opportunity to speak in an ugly and negative manner about me. The children two Are now in their teens say they Are embarrassed and do not know How to respond because i have instructed them to be courteous and respectful to their grandmother. Abby any suggestions you have for my sex Mother in Law will be very much appreciated As she reads your column daily. No names or cities please i do not want to Embarrass anyone. Stumped Margaret brainwashed them and set us up for a Chilly reception. I was treated like a outsider and not invited to be in the wedding pictures. Our marriage is now solid and my husband sees very Little of his family. I know this is a Long letter but i Hope you will print it for the Benefit of All the women who marry men with grown children. It is Good for them to know that they can win. North Texas dear Texas in a not so sure you won. A truly great Victory would have been achieved had you managed to win your husbands children Over instead of alienating them. When the grandchildren come along and he san outsider he might hold you responsible and then the real trouble will begin. Good Luck. Dear Ann Landers this is in response to a just relieved in wheat country a who filled out change of address forms in an Effort to get her elderly Mother off the junk mail lists. It was a Loving thing to do but it will not solve the problem. A change of address does no to Cut Down on junk mail. The postal delivery service in this country has a life of its own. There is a much better Way that worked wonders. I have reduced my unsolicited mail by printing my name and address on a card and sending it to goodbye junk mail mail preference service direct marketing association 6 e. 43rd st., new York . 10017-4646. . In Sunland Calif. Dear sunny i have printed several suggestions for getting rid of unwanted mail including this one but for the Benefit of those who Haven to seen it Here it is again. C creators Syndicate dear stumped and to whom it May concern no one has to listen to a person bad Mouth another. It is perfectly All right to inform the bad Mother that you do not want to hear anything More about a person who is not present and therefore unable to defend him her self. This message should be delivered in a Well modulated tone. Tell your children a you May not win a popularity contest but you will be respected for your honesty and  dear Abby. Please Tell your readers to have dry hands when they defrost the Freezer compartments in their refrigerators. I had the traumatic experience of being tightly stuck to the Side of mine with no Way to get Loose without losing much of the skin on my hand. Fortunately my son was near and i called for him to help. He poured water on my hand and i managed to get it Loose. However i had to go to the emergency unit with a severe Burn and a loss of skin. It can happen very quickly and people should be aware. Another kind of burned dear burned a word to the Wise. 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