European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 23, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 20 Ann Landers the stars and stripes dear Ann Landers that letter about Louise who played the accordion accompanied by Bernice and Murray put me away. I nearly split my sides laughing. I made copies and sent them to friends on both coasts. This morning i received a letter from my sister in Law in Clinton Iowa. She wrote a you done to believe that letter was for real do you Ann printed it As a joke. Get with Ann i do believe it was real. Am i naive please set me straight. Another Ann in Rockford ill. Dear Rockford every letter that appears in my column is for real. No Way could i contrive anything to compare with the mail that crosses my desk. Tell your sister in Law in Clinton that after 36 years id be pretty hard to fool. Or better still let her read this in the Clinton Herald. Here a More on the same subject dear Abby dear readers the piece a please god in a Only 17,�?� which i first ran in this space several years ago has been the most requested piece to rerun in the history of my column. High school and College newspaper editors continue to request permission to use it. With easter vacation coming in about a month perhaps parents of teen agers would like to clip this please god in a Only 17 the Day i died was an Ordinary school Day. How i wish i had taken the bus. But i was too Cool for the bus. I remember How i wheeled the car out of mom. A special favor a i pleaded. A fall the kids when the 2 50 Bell rang i threw All my books into the locker. I was free until 8 40 tomorrow morning i ran to the arking lot excited at the thought of driving a car and eing my own Boss. Free it does no to matter How the Accident happened. I was goofing off a going too fast. Taking crazy chances. But 1 was enjoying my Freedom and having fun. The last thing i remember was passing an old lady who seemed to be going awfully slow. I heard the deafening crash and Felt a terrible Jolt. Glass and steel flew everywhere. My whole body seemed to be turning inside out. I heard myself scream. Suddenly i awakened it was very quiet. A police officer was standing Over me. Then i saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I was saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged Glass were sticking out All Over. Strange that i feel anything. Hey done to pull that Sheet Over my head i can to be dead. In a Only 17. In be got a Date tonight. In a supposed to grow up and have a wonderful life. I Haven t lived yet. I can to be dead. Later i was placed in a drawer. My folks had to identify monday March 23,1992 dear Ann Landers regarding your a candidate for sainthood who asked How to put an end to the excruciating recitals of his accordion playing wife and her dome thumping spoon slapping buddies a no no no Ann. Done to advise him to give his wife a gift certificate for accordion lessons. He is the one who should take lessons a on the trumpet especially if he is tone deaf. I agree with those who say a if you can to beat Mem join i know from experience that a loud trumpet player who is tone deaf with no sense of rhythm can drown out any number of musicians and Clear a room within minutes. Tell this Guy to learn to blow a trumpet Nice and loud and turn their Trio into a quartet. They wont be Able to hear themselves play and a trumpet can murder lady of Spain like you believe. In be heard those dome hackers and spoon crackers and believe me they deserve no mercy. Helen in the Little Apple Manhattan Kan dear Helen in a in your Corner Kansas. C creators Syndicate me. Why did they have to see me like this Why did i have to look at mom s eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal of her life dad suddenly looked like an old Man. He told the Man in charge a yes he is my the funeral was a weird experience. I saw All my relatives and friends walk toward the casket. They passed by one by one and looked at me with the Saddest eyes in be Ever seen. Some of my buddies were crying. A few of the girls touched my hand and sobbed As they walked away. Please a somebody a Wake me up get me out of Here i can to Bear to see my mom and dad so broken up. My grandparents Are so racked with grief they can hardly walk. My Brothers and Sisters Are like zombies. They move like robots. In a Daze everybody. No one can believe this. And i can to believe it either. Please done to Bury me in a not dead i have a lot of living to do i want to laugh and run again. I want to sing and dance. Please done to put me in the ground. I Promise if you give me one More Chance god ill be the most careful Driver in the whole world. All i want is one More Chance. Please god in a Only 17 dear Abby i need you to Clear up a disagreement. I recently met a very Nice Guy. On our first Date he took me to a movie. The movie was Good and we had a Nice time. After the movie he took me Home. Now Here is the big question. Should my Date walk me to my front door a please done to Tell me about women a lib i am just trying to find out what a proper etiquette on a first Date. He feels it was not a big Deal. However i am 27 years old and he is the first Guy who did not walk me to my door. Nettie in . Dear Nettie its proper etiquette for a gentleman to walk a lady to her door on every Date. 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