European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 28, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Saturday March 28, 1992 the stars and stripes Ann Landers dear Ann Landers i am writing about the a put upon Parent in new York who was upset that her child was asked to sell Candy for the Pat. Since a put upon so child is Only in kindergarten she May not be aware of what the Pat really Means and does for All children. Activities May vary from school to school and District to District but the goals Are universally child oriented. Pat sponsored activities Cost Money and funds must come from somewhere. Particularly in new York where there have been massive cutbacks in education fund raisers by both your Pat and local school Are the Only Means through which a a extras can be provided for our children. Cupcake sales car washes Holiday fairs Book sales and the a a junk referred to by a put upon All require a great Deal of work by Many volunteers whose Only Reward is the smile on the faces of the children. Kids Are our most valuable resource. Get involved in your local Pat. Offer suggestions and Volunteer. More important Stop criticizing those who give freely of their time and Energy to help them. B.m.i., Long Island . Dear . Bravo to you and thanks for writing. Here a More dear Ann Landers i applaud a put upon in .,�?� and i share her concern. Not Only Are fund raisers a Strain on children to overachiever they Are a Strain on the pocketbooks of neighbors friends and family members. I have three school aged children. Not Only Are they asked to sell Page 19today�?Ts crossword dear Abby dear Abby i am a retailer who owns a Small ladies clothing store located in a mall below an office Tower downtown in my City. My complaints about my customers Are not unique to my situation. I have Many valued customers who keep me going in a Tough business. But i would like to offer some suggestions to other shoppers about Good manners 1. Say hello to me. In a a person not a Public place. 2. Cross the threshold and have a look around. I done to bite. I know salespeople Are traditionally Pesky but not All Are. If a salesperson follows you around the store it is probably because the store is the victim of frequent shoplifting. Speak up and say a hello just browsing a and you shall be left in relative peace. 3. Remember the merchandise is the property of the store owner so show respect for it. Don t Rake through a rack of Silky garments with soiled hands or jewelry that will tear or scratch the clothing. Pick up things you Knock Down. The store must assume the costs for cleaning and repairs. Smoking eating and drinking have been banned by Law in stores or shoppers would still be doing these things while they shopped 4. Use the salesperson while you re in the dressing room instead of piling up garments and standing on Pat items but also cookies for the girl scouts Popcorn for boy scouts Candy for gymnastics and raffle tickets for Ballet soccer and Little league. Most of these items Are not cheap. To add to the dilemma there Are approximately 25 school age children in my neighbourhood and each belongs to several organizations. At work several parents try to help their children by soliciting funds and Selling raffle tickets. Done to get me wrong Ann i Admire their aggressiveness but if i bought just one item from each of these organizations it would Cost me at least $2,000 a year. The average contribution is $3.50. With the 90-plus kids from work and the 25 in my neighbourhood each averaging five organizations a year that is Only the tip of the iceberg. And lets not forget the environmental organizations that go door to door asking for donations a they look at you in disgust when you say no. One Young Man actually said a fifteen dollars wont break you lady and it Means the difference Between clean and contaminated  Well he a right if i did no to have to Deal with All the others i could contribute to clean water. But the list goes on and on and on. It Breaks my heart to have to say no to those Little faces that come knocking at my door. I feel like a Heel. And it does no to do much for a child a self esteem. We live in a Community with a Large retirement population and most of the elderly Are on a fixed income. The unemployment rate Here is at an All time High. Its a sin to put these people on the spot. But enough is enough. Can to afford it on Cape cod dear readers two excellent letters with opposing Points of View a both valid. Choose the shoe that fits your foot. C creators Syndicate them. Suggest the need for extra Hooks or surfaces if there Arentt enough. Communicate with the people who work in the store and you la get better service. 5. Done to ridicule the stores merchandise if its not your style or is too pricey shop elsewhere. 6. Done to assume the store owner is Rich. The local Independent retailers certainly Are not so done to try to bargain with them a bargaining is for Flea markets. Small stores face terrifying Competition from department stores and Large chains so they must keep their prices competitive. And finally please done to shoplift. Anonymous merchant dear Abby what is the proper wedding gift if you hear via the Grapevine that the meal is costing $40 per person should the monetary gift be $80 or More per couple or can you give $40 or $50 a or a gift Worth $25 or $40? in most instances the brides parents Are footing the Bill. Are the guests expected to a a pay for their meal or should the gift be Given As a remembrance from the guests wondering in Illinois dear wondering what you spend should be determined by the size of your budget not the Price of the wedding dinner. 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