European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 16, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Saturday May 16, 1992 the stars and stripes a Page 19 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers the suicide of a child or other loved one regardless of age is one of life a harshest tragedies. Grieving relatives need to know that they Are not being judged or blamed by others. They blame themselves enough already. It does no to help to say a a he a probably better off. It does no to help to say a you have other  guilt is a major Factor whenever there is a suicide no matter what the cause. Everyone who loved that person wonders what he or she might have done to prevent it. Grief stricken survivors need to know that their friends Are still there for them. Sometimes friends you thought you could count on suddenly disappear. They avoid you because they done to know what to say. In most cases survivors want and need to talk about their loss. Its important to keep the memory of the deceased alive. While it May be painful to discuss its better than trying to forget that the person Ever existed. Yes there Are support groups for survivors but what about friends and relatives calling from time to time just to see How you re doing been there in . Dear . Your letter should be helpful to those who done to know what to say or do when tragedy strikes someone close. I Hope the following letter can offer some Comfort to the bereaved dear Ann Landers a dear Friend sent me this poem. It was written by Alice Kerr of lower Bucks a. She is a member of the compassionate friends an organization for parents dear Abby dear Abby i am very concerned with Young mothers giving their Small children marshmallows. I read a disturbing article in your column years ago about a child swallowing a marshmallow whole and How it expanded and blocked the child a Airway. The child survived but suffered permanent brain damage. Could you please print that article again i am running a Home Day care Center and would like to give out copies of that article to the mothers of Small children. Some of these Young mothers seem to think our experience and passed on knowledge Are nothing but myths or old wives tales. Thank you for All of your past ideas and thoughts. A concerned Day care provider dear concerned the letter to which you referred was printed in 1988, and i agree a the warning should be run again for those who May have missed seeing it dear Abby i am writing this with the Hope that the parents of who have lost a child. I thought your readers might Benefit from its words. Faithful Reader now / know / never knew when you lost your child. What you were going through. I Wasny to there i stayed away / just deserted you. I did no to know the words to say i did no to know the things to do. I think your pain so frightened me i did no to know How to Comfort you. And then one Day my child died. You were the first one there. You quietly stayed by my Side listened and held me As i cried. You did no to leave you did no to go. The lesson Learned is. Now i know. Dear Friend that touching poem could have been written Only by a person who has lived through the experience. I have recommended the compassionate friends in this space Many times but once More wont Hurt. This is a splendid organization whose members Are bonded by the loss of a beloved child. To join or learn More about this organization which now has Over 600 chapters throughout the country readers can Send a self addressed stamped envelope to the compassionate friends . Box 3696, Oak Brook iii., 60522-3696. A Dollar to help defray costs would be greatly appreciated c creators Syndicate Small children will see it and be careful of what they give their Little ones to eat. My 3-year-old Nephew Chad was eating a Large marshmallow. Nobody paid much attention to him until he suddenly started turning Blue the marshmallow had become lodged in his Throat and formed a glue like Seal. The poor child could not breathe. They applied the Heimlich Man Euver but could not dislodge the marshmallow. Chad was then rushed to the Hospital and was actually pronounced a dead a but they revived him by using a heavy suction pump to remove the marshmallow from the base of his Trachea. Chad is now severely brain damaged. Abby please print this. Until this happened no one in our family Ever dreamed that such a tragedy could occur because of a marshmallow. Chad a aunt dear aunt thank you for alerting others. Who would Ever dream that the innocent marshmallow could harm or kill a child the information i glean from writing this column boggles the mind. 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