European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 10, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 20 a the stars and stripes tuesday november 10,1992 dropout headed for homelessness today s crossword dear Ann Landers have you Ever seen a pathetic looking homeless per son and wondered a where is the family How could they have allowed this to happen a Well to afraid in a going to be a guilty family member in the not too Dis Tant future Ana this is Why my family and i have helped my older brother for years although none of us has Ever had much Money. During the �?T60s, when a a John decided to a drop out a we hoped it was just a phase. He has spent his life bumming around the country living off friends Fand stranger returning Home when he ran out of Money. My parents always let him move Back in against my advice. Today John is almost 50 and still living at Home. My parents Are elderly and not in the Best of health. My husband and i live in a Nice Home that we be both worked very hard Toby. In be instructed my parents to leave everything to John but in a afraid hell go through it in a Short time and ill have to take care of Nim. How do i Deal with a brother who a marches to a different drummer Indianapolis t i Ann Landers dear Indi take Steps to make sure your parents estate is set up so when they pass on Johns inheritance will be allocated piecemeal Over a period of several years. If he runs out of Money let it be his problem. Dear Ann Landers i read with interest your letter about living wills from . In Seattle some time Back. Although i agree with the concept of a living will in some states it does not guarantee that an individuals desire not to be kept alive by life sustaining treatment will be honoured. The living will is merely a directive to your physician to withhold or withdraw life sustaining procedures in the Case of terminal illness. It does not permit the withdrawal of nutrition or a feeding tube. A properly drafted health care Power of attorney rather than a living will permits the individual to name a person to make any health care decisions for him if he is not in the position to do so. The health care Power of attorney goes much further in ensuring that an individual will be allowed to die in dignity. Illinois lawyer letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chicago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate Middle aged motherhood rewarding dear Abby this is for a found love later who wonders if she a too old to have a child in her mid-40s i was 45 and my husband was 50 when i became pregnant. We had been childless for 22 years and it was a great Shock to put it mildly. My husband was an executive in a Large corporation and i had never worked outside the Home. I had an Active social life and kept Busy with Volunteer projects. My doctor assured me that my age was no problem because my health was excellent. I had an uneventful and easy pregnancy,.and was thrilled when i delivered a Beautiful baby girl. We named her Chris. We had some adjustments to make in out lifestyle but we handled them welf. Chris has been the Joy of my life. She is 32 now happily married and has Given me four Beautiful grandchildren a two boys and two girls. I am now a widow a 78 years Young. Would i do it again yes is it fair for a child to have a menopausal mom i will let my daughter answer that question. In a enclosing her letter. Ida Pfohl Vero Beach Fla. Dear Abby _ my Mother gave me an a a assignment which i am a dear Abby Hepting happily. She asked me what it was like having a menopausal Mother. I never knew i had one. I suppose most kids think their parents Are a a old a but i never thought mine were any older than the rest. In fact i always thought my parents were pretty Cool a especially my mom. I want to Tell those women who found love late and had children later than most women done to worry about looking like a grandmother at Pat meetings. You will see women of All Ages shapes sizes and colors there. But most of All done to worry about what your children Quot might think about having an older mom. I had one and it never even crossed my mind at the time. Ida a daughter Chris Knight Vero Beach Fla. Dear Abby i am a 13-year-old boy whose mothers hair turned Gray when she was around 35 or 36 years old. A few times in be been asked if she was my mom or grandma but i never worried about it because it did no to bother me. A found love later  worry about looking like a grandma either. It Isnit the color of the lady a hair that a important its what a inside that counts. Vincent Young in Malabar Fla. Letters for this column should be addressed to dear Abby at  Box 447 mount Morris. Iii. 61054. 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